Chapter 1: What are the consequences of losing a fantasy football week?
Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.
If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.
Chapter 2: How can a dental guard help with fantasy football stress?
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff!
Chapter 3: What is the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal?
All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero.
Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule.
Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
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Chapter 4: Why did Notre Dame decline a bowl invitation?
All right. So this is what Bavacqua told Yahoo Sports. In a part of a memorandum of understanding signed by CFP officials last spring, Notre Dame will be assured of making the playoff if it is ranked in the top 12 starting next year. Why? That's the deal they struck.
This is based off of the fact that when it was initially expanded, Notre Dame became... So like a year, two years ago. Right. When they expanded it, their AD at the time or their former AD, Jack Swarbrick, was part of this. But ultimately what ended up happening, right, is you have these five automatic qualifiers that are all the top five conference champions as an independent team.
Notre Dame cannot automatically qualify, and in turn, their only option is to be an at-large team. So this memorandum that they ultimately signed was, if you're ranked in the top 12, you're going to turn into an automatic bid. Why are we just learning this now and not two years ago?
I think it was out there last year, and this was a helpful reminder. Ross Ellinger brought it back up to...
So that's a real thing that's going to be a thing next year.
I also think it was in part of a correction that the committee had in which Notre Dame was not eligible for a bye, no matter how good their season was.
They changed it after one year.
They changed it after one year, and this might have been lumped in on that. I mean, there are ways to... guardrail against that. If it comes down to Notre Dame and that 12 seed, the committee can also get out in front of this and have Miami in front of Notre Dame earlier like they should have.
Again, the ridiculous part here is that they set up Notre Dame for this okey-doke and Notre Dame came with this arrogance saying that it couldn't happen to them and they believed this BS when at the end of the day... They were going to be close on metrics, and Miami has the chief tiebreaker that is applied to all the competitive sports.
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Chapter 5: What factors influenced the selection of teams for the playoffs?
The AD is not invoking the SEC whatsoever. He's going after his flat-track ACC partners, which I also think is in bad faith. The ACC helped you out in 2020. Bad leadership by Jim Phillips and company to just let them in the ACC and have an ACC schedule the entire time. Remember, the Big Ten, Ohio State made the CFP going 5-0 that year. The ACC had Notre Dame over a barrel.
They were helpful to one another. And for them to get nothing but this BS from Notre Dame? Go ahead. Explore other opportunities. Do it for other conferences because I don't need Notre Dame in my conference. I really don't. I don't need any of this nonsense. I would love to share in the revenue. I would love you to be a full-fledged member.
But if you're going to have your cake and eat it too and not share in any of the spoils and we barely get credit for when we beat you, find somebody else.
Enjoy the Mountain West, pal. It was an incredible amount of hubris. leading up to Sunday. Hubris Davis. You put the tweets out there. Hey, Kane, Alabama, you guys go argue with each other. Oh, okay. Was that them? Did they tweet that?
I thought it was just a- No, the fans were like, all right, now that Alabama's been blown out, this is not a Miami-Notre Dame thing. Miami had the better argument against both schools. I feel for you. I understand you feel duped. You feel duped, but that's on you. You should have been sounding the alarm bells that, hey, there is potential here for the obvious to happen.
Miami had a common opponent against Alabama. They lost FSU. Miami beat them. Now, what Alabama had over everybody else. Kate should have been ahead of Alabama, too. Strength of schedule. Notre Dame was right there. They lost a head-to-head with Miami, and they didn't have the common opponent deal that Miami had over Alabama.
If you had any foresight, like we've been telling you for weeks and weeks and weeks, this was going to potentially happen. They should have been more prepared.
The reality is, is if this college football playoff committee was to be any level of consistent, both Notre Dame and Miami would be in. Because BYU is a team that went to their conference championship, got blown out, and in turn dropped out of the playoff conversation. They were already out if they didn't win the conference championship. But why shouldn't Alabama be? Right.
Because Alabama was a team that was right there and they got absolutely dominated in their conference championship game, which led to a third loss, by the way, negating one of their best wins. Right. Where BYU just lost to a team you already knew they weren't as good as. And they got blown out and they got they got knocked out, at least to maintain a level of consistency.
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Chapter 6: How did the Miami Hurricanes perform recently?
You're right.
Easily. Notre Dame and Miami, you're better than these two teams. We just saw them go head-to-head with playoff teams. They got dominated. They're out. That was a de facto playoff game for both. But there's no level of consistency. You're hand-picking when you want to use the conference championship game as something that matters or not. She said she didn't want anything.
I don't get it. But I do think that you brought up some good points. Zaz, where I think you were going as it pertains to BYU is I hear all the arguments, and you could have argued maybe they should have been included in the field that was in. But it was out there for BYU. They knew the stakes. They were outside looking in when that game was going to play.
Even if they remain the same, they're still out. Yeah, so they knew that they had to win that game to get in because it was an automatic qualifier, and they knew the deal going into it.
Like, you're mad that Alabama didn't move, and so they still get in. Even if BYU didn't move, they still don't get in. So, I mean, does it make sense that one moved and the other one didn't? No. But even if BYU was treated the way Alabama was, they still don't get in. Fair enough.
It's just more like I think maybe the setup and the conceit from there maybe should have been that BYU would have been ahead of the two teams that are not making a conference championship. But that is something to argue on the back end, right? You're right. The way it was set up. They needed a way to get in and they knew the stakes of that going in.
It just makes no sense to have teams that go to a championship like BYU does drop in the ranking one way or another. Like we see one team drop. We see another team that doesn't. And that's where Notre Dame has to be absolutely furious. And BYU has to have a gripe, maybe not as strong as Notre Dame's. The biggest, there's going to be changes one way or another.
I don't know what they're going to be. I would start with, we don't need to have this show. And I know it's part of a contract. I know it's part of a contract and it gets the ratings. I get it. But we don't need the show. We really don't because all these rankings leading up to the only ranking that clearly matters being yesterday, it literally didn't mean anything.
It did more than not mean anything. It misled. It misled. And that's the problem. I don't think the answer is to not have the show. The answer is have the show be done well. Have them do what they should have been doing the whole time as opposed to, in irony, making us have a better show by just having Mike mad every goddamn week.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the ACC championship results?
Dude, when you were watching that James Madison game, you were like, I probably shouldn't have come out so far.
That defense in the second half, really strong against Troy. I'm just excited there's two Group of Five teams in this playoff. How about that?
Put it on the poll. If your conference championship is among two teams named after a guy, you shouldn't be in the CFP.
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From A24 and starring Timothy Chalamet, alongside powerhouse cast Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa Ozion, and Tyler Okoma, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, only in theaters.
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