Chapter 1: What social dynamics are explored between Dan, David, and Trista?
Zazz, do you imagine that after all of the years as a public figure going into places where he's meeting people and interacting with people, that David Sampson would be good or bad at social interactions with new people?
He should be good.
But do you assume he is good? Do you assume, like the rest of you, do you assume that David Sampson can walk into a room and interact with others well? I do.
And we're off. I do. I do assume that because based on what his career was prior to doing what he does now, you have to be able to schmooze.
So he doesn't have much of a relationship yet with Trista. He's interacted with her in person next to not at all. And today, upon seeing her, what he says is quite a difference from last night. You dress today in your PJs.
Yeah.
And I said, bitch.
That is what you said. That was exactly the first word that she said after you said that. And then you react totally. You start backtracking with, what, is that bad? Is that pejorative? I didn't mean anything by it.
No, I actually didn't mean. I thought that you looked great. But last night you were in a gown. And today you are in something far more casual. And it seemed like pajama wear, which, by the way, can be beautiful.
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Chapter 2: What is David Sampson's top five list of worst interactions in his career?
Generally, by Thursday, we're slurring. Me, most of all. Tony. Yes, we are all slurring. Tony is out sick. He won't be slurring because he just took the next day off. All of a sudden, he was fine last night, but he's sick this morning. I don't know. He sounded bad yesterday. Well, you sound bad as the inner monologue sounds like it's got a cold. I'm playing hurt, but I'm here.
I come here, man.
You're playing hurt. You left the show 45 minutes in last night with stomach issues. A lot of people were suggesting that my popcorn made people sick, which I object to. Trista is given no greater compliment around here in the time that she's been here than saluting the popcorn. She does not believe it made anybody sick.
I also think if anybody's slandering the popcorn, it's because very clearly the popcorn's coming from a bag. If you made the popcorn fresh, put some butter instead of coconut oil, and then mix the hot butter with the seasoning that you concocted in a great and culinary way, I mean, we are talking about 100 out of 100.
Yeah, I like your popcorn, but I wasn't going to have any because I knew intake would just be a bad idea for me yesterday. 45 minutes, man. You have a weird relationship with time.
I think that Tony's sulking. You lose 2-1. He was all about ā Because he jinxed DR, yeah.
Well, we're going to talk about the way that game ended because I understand why the Dominican Republic is mad. Mason Miller is hard enough to hit without giving him strikes that aren't strikes.
When he had come into the performance last night having struck out 19 of the previous 20 batters because nobody can hit him because he throws the ball harder than anybody in the history of Major League Baseball, right? Like this is the hardest thrower there has ever been in big league history, correct?
You can hit velocity. It's the sort of knockout slider.
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Chapter 3: Why hasn't Zaslow attended a Heat game in years?
So just be advised.
But you also did something right. You explained to him as if you were on the red carpet. You explained to him what you're presently wearing, who you acted as if he had asked you. Tell me about your designer because you immediately went into Adidas wear and what it is that you were wearing that you're hipper than what he wears.
Yeah, this is a Farm Rio Adidas collaboration. That's a track pant. And this is a flage graphic tee to give some shine to the ladies tournament since it was all hell breaking loose by the time my top five list came down. And I think that part was a train wreck. So this is just an homage.
Yeah, what are you giving shine to, huh? I'm just telling her that I thought that from last night to this morning, and I'm sorry, I'm trying to be better. I am trying to be better. I have not been spoken to that way by anyone, and I don't mean whatever I've done for a living. I mean like anyone, like at the height of bowling to the height of running a Major League Baseball team. You liked it.
That tone. Kind of turned him on. Not a kid, not a parent, not an ex-wife. No one's talked to you like that ever? That tone? I've never heard anyone talk to me like that.
You've got to get around more black folks.
Girardi must have. Bobby Valentine for sure talked to him that way.
Girardi did it like day one.
You're missing the difference. I'm not saying that I have not been spoken down to. I'm not saying that I've not been absolutely mistreated. I'm talking about the tone of the word bitch.
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Chapter 4: What insights are shared about the March Madness Looks Like Tournament?
We had fun, all right? The game got close. The Heat were down double figures the whole night. It's only the second Heat game I've been to in several years. And there's a myriad of reasons why, but my younger son, my 14-year-old Jordan, is really into the Heat now.
And especially, not that it's like all of a sudden over the last few days, but the BAM at a bio performance last week, he is like obsessed now. All right. And so we went to the game Saturday and it was fun. And he made it close late. So that was cool. How's Uptown Dale doing? He wasn't there, actually, to be honest with you. I don't know.
Why are you assuming that he sits in Uptown? Dan, you're showing your Uptown Dale's all around.
When's the last time you went to a Heat game? Uptown Dale, he's a man of the people. I got season tickets, buddy. Okay.
But when's the last time you went? Same question. Yeah, same question. Six weeks ago. Six weeks ago.
So I had a very interesting experience at the Heat Games Saturday night because I realized, oh, my God, I'm bringing myself to Heat Games. And I am feeling like my father at Heat Games, which is a weird experience. Anyone who is a father and you have those moments where, oh, I sound just like my dad. That's really weird. I'm feeling that now because I used to be a maniac at the Heat Games.
especially when I was my son's age when I was 14 years old it is life and death a regular season game on a Saturday night and I'm watching the game with him we're there and it's exciting but I'm very calm and I'm watching the game you're not going to get a reaction I've seen what's in front of me a million times So, like, I'm enjoying the game, but I'm not getting rowdy or anything.
I'm just watching. And my son next to me is so into it. And I'm pulling the move. Like, he's angry when they're losing. And with four minutes left, I'm like, hey, if the Heat don't score a couple baskets in a row here, we're going to get out of here, all right? He's like, no, but what if they come back? And what if this happens or this?
You know, I'm like, all right, well, what if three minutes left? It's like, no, no, no. So, like, I'm my father now.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts react to David Sampson's experiences with disrespect?
But I'm plotting my exit. That's a little bit weird, all right? But, no, I enjoyed it very much. I liked that, oh, my God, he's behaving the way that I used to behave. This must be how my father felt. I haven't programmed him to be like this. I haven't... I didn't make either one of my boys huge sports fans. I would like it if they are. I could have, but I didn't.
Yeah, I didn't force any of it on them.
You say that you didn't make this, but you're their environment. They're watching you. You're not doing this stuff actively, but you're an insane person. They hear Dad in the other room doing a show where it sounds like he's talking to himself for an hour. Zaslow 2.0, that's what they grew up around.
Do they call it the Zaslow Mansion?
No.
No. That's kind of sad. Mom, why is dad going into that room for an hour and just talking real loud and he's not talking to anybody? He closes the door. What's he doing in that room in there?
When I do come down from doing my show, if everybody is home okay, like maybe they didn't have school that day, when I do come down from doing my show, and I do it in the Zaslo Mansion Network Studios, and when I come out from recording the show, they're all downstairs and there'll be this look on me because even though I'm
I'm sequestered in another portion of the house that they could hear the entire show.
Do they do things that remind you of yourself? I'm sure it'll be very clear to them when they start turning into you.
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Chapter 6: What are the challenges faced by the Miami Heat this season?
While I'm watching that documentary, I'm saying to myself, huh, that's how I got left behind for 15 years on what a generation of kids became to vote for Trump. That's exactly how it happened. Watching something that I did not have access to on the Internet. Boys trying to teach boys how to be men and getting it all wrong. That documentary was what that guy only makes throws his name right.
He only makes good documentaries. He did the Scientology documentary. I urge you to watch it if you have not seen it. It's just about the manosphere.
Quick break to tell you about a special Miller time I had with my good buddy, Mochetta. Mochetta texted me the other day. He said, hey, what are you doing for the game? I said, I'm just on my couch right now, doing nothing, enjoying it. He's like, hey, do you want some company? I said, from you, Mochetta? Absolutely. Mochetta comes over to the house and I pull out the Miller Lite.
Miller Lite made that casual hang a memorable good Miller time with my good friend Mochetta because Miller Lite brought us together. We took that first sip after we toasted our beers and we knew we made the right call. We watched a game. All of a sudden, we're standing up on our feet. Big threes are being drained and white cans are being clanged.
See, times like these, that's exactly why Miller Lite is my go-to. Clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. The original Lite beer since 1975, and it still hits different for yours truly and his good friend Mochetta. Cheers to legendary moments made with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories.
Go to MillerLite.com to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts perceive the Orlando Magic's performance?
That is on my infamous scale of 1 to 10. That's a 7.6. Solid. Good job, Dan. Good job.
That's a suey nominee right there.
That's really good. This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stugatz.
I want to get to these top five lists, though, because Trist has got one as well in honor of the tournament. And we've got our looks like game to introduce. We're bringing it back here. Dave Damaschek is the voice of this year's tournament.
And I want to do this now, the March Sadness Tournament, before we get to the top five of David's people who have called him bitch and Zaslow's top five opponents. on myriad reasons that he has only gone to two Heat games in several years and Trist is top five on games to watch in this tournament. We begin our Looks Like tournament with the play-in games, which are tomorrow night, 6.40 p.m.
in the Midwest region.
Number 16, Howard, is represented by... Adam Silver looks like the last lollipop in the jar at the doctor's office.
That is true. Adam Silver has still perpetually a ton of teams in this tournament. UMBC is also from the Adam Silver Conference, also a 16th seed in the play-in game.
Adam Silver looks like a magician's wand.
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of the Heat's playoff prospects discussed?
Number four.
Jeff Torborg.
Really? An otherwise nice man? Otherwise very polite and professional? Jeff Torborg?
is neither nice nor professional. Is he still with us? No. But I said this when he was alive. Jeff Torborg was a difficult manager, and we were very happy when we were able to let him go. There is a documentary about his life that's interesting, no question about it, but just not nice. It was his way or the highway. His son was a wrestler. His son was a wrestler.
His son did the documentary, actually, Dale. We had to hire his son, his other son, to do arbitration, which we got around and never did. Anyway, it didn't work out, and he attacked us. He's a mean mofo.
I have really nothing to add on him, but the arbitration process, I feel like, just kind of scummy by nature.
We'd love to get rid of it. The players won't. So that's one of the great misunderstandings in collective bargaining is that every year the owners say, let's get rid of arbitration. Every year the players say we want it.
There's no way that you can come back from arbitration and feel good feelings, right? How long does it take for people to start feeling okay about one another after you've just sullied the reputation?
It's hours of your employer telling you why you don't deserve as much money as you think you deserve.
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