The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Dan Doesn't Know Ball (feat. Amin Elhassan?)
02 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What is the significance of Smirnoff as the official vodka sponsor of the NFL?
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff.
Smirnoff!
Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff!
Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May. Smirnoff! Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason.
Plus, one fan will win a Lely Mays one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Me.
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retailer. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding.
Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment. If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.
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Chapter 2: Why does Dan Le Batard feel self-loathing about his sports knowledge?
I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think they're going to make it. I think that's our only disagreement.
Well, it seemed like you were disagreeing vociferously. This guy. I don't know how you do it. How long have you known this guy, Greg? How long have you known this guy? A while. You have electively decided that this guy is someone you want to have in your life. I have. He's been in my life for 20 years, and I'm at my wit's end with this.
out the gates lying fake newsing lying or shit stirring we were we were talking to chris i was talking to chris and this this happens all the time when we have university and i was speaking and you interrupted me yeah but i was talking what side is he on what side is he on Turn it off. It's off. I was talking to Chris while I was talking to Greg. Shut your mouth. It's back on. Do you know?
Chris. Can I speak? What happens to everything around here if I shut my mouth?
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Lite. That's right. If you're looking around and you say, this doesn't look like a means on the show, I'm not. Guess what? Dropping out of Georgia Tech turned out to be a mistake. Should have been an engineer. My internet would be better. I could fix it. Get on the roof. Plug in some things. Dial in. Tap into the satellites. I don't know what the f***.
Whatever. All right. Here we go. Dan... Georgia Tech had the dream season, led by a Heisman-worthy quarterback with hopes of a college football playoff berth on the horizon. But with back-to-back losses, including one where I lost a bet to Al Duncan, just like that, make no mistake, me not giving a single flying focaccia about college football is back.
Al Duncan, making a bet to potentially wear Georgia Tech gear on SportsCenter, then leaving ESPN the next day. Heady play. The Colts, losers of three of their last four, still have the Seahawks, the Niners, and the Jags twice left on their schedule. You hear that sound, Dan-O? That's the sound of a clock striking midnight. Pumpkin time. The Finns, keep hope alive yet again.
Told you, Greg Cody, stay strong. Diamond hands. For about a half of football, I thought the Raiders were actually going to beat the Chargers. Progress. Look what they did to my boy, Gino. These are so much better when I'm interacting with a human being. Don't look now, but here come the Orlando Magic. It's like they exclusively play better when they're missing one of their best players.
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Chapter 3: What led to the argument between Mike Ryan and Greg Cody?
No, he's correct. It really does. Take that home.
And the number one name in football. I'm still not sure I have a handle on.
Bring that thing to bed.
Barry Sanders. You get it? Because he's hard to tag.
Seven minutes left? Who would have known about the beeps, man? How are there seven minutes left? The beeps lift that whole thing up.
Due to minutes restriction.
Hmm.
Knock, knock. I really needed someone else to interact here. Let me try. Let me try to do it. Knock, knock. Who's there? The Carolina Panthers whom you declare to be dead. Eat your precious rams whom you laud praise for at every step.
i'm not very good at knock-knock jokes yeah that would be better turn it off enough enough of this i got enough of this two weeks ago i got enough of it uh yesterday i've had enough of it today i am not misrepresenting the conversation that mike and greg cody have mike has declared himself a minister of war he is i hate the term war around football and sports and mike is warring right now sometimes it's a
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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to Mario Cristobal and the University of Miami?
It's out there. My general.
My five-star general. Four stars. Four stars. Hey, five. Five.
Five.
How do you know?
Not helping, Dan.
Five. Five. Then what is Saban? He's also five. You can't go higher than five. That's why he's a four star. He's a four star general. Okay, then give Saban six. Saban says that we're the most dangerous team in the nation, so I'll give him a six star. I'd say Texas Tech is that. Texas Tech is the only team I believe. Why do they think I'm an enemy? I love Dan. Why do they think I'm an enemy?
I believe that Texas Tech is the only team in the country, the only one, that could have Miami not play a close game. That it's a possible outcome if they were to play Texas Tech. You don't know Ball. He doesn't know Ball. And this is what I keep hearing from Coral Gables. Yep, same. Not a Ball knower.
They're not saying specific names, but they're just like, if we're going to do this, we can't have any non-Ball knowers around. Texas Tech. Texas Tech.
Who lost to Sam Levitt on one foot, Texas Tech. No, but they were playing with their backup quarterback. Go ahead and let Miami play with their backup quarterback.
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Chapter 5: What is the debate surrounding Miami's chances in the college football playoff?
So he's acknowledging that the Canes have turned it on right when they should, late in the season. So he's been inconsistent, but he's been consistent in both directions. I'll give him that.
Didn't Pat Rowley tell Danny Ainge, unofficial Miami Heat letterhead, to shut the f*** up and manage his own team? That is not correct. He sent out a team spokesman, the head of media relations, in order to do that. I don't think they put out a printed statement that also said that.
Yeah, but Tesh's point is well taken.
That's what Roy looks like. Well, we'll look that up. I thought that they did too, Roy. But yeah, my beef there, and I wasn't yelling at Greg. I was genuinely curious, what have they been consistent on? Because the criteria changes week to week. It changes team to team. When they tout the virtues of Notre Dame, it's all about quality losses.
And you only have to skip down one spot to hear them talk about quality wins now.
So did we!
It's not about quality losses because Bama doesn't have... A big-time quality loss when they went to Florida State, that's a really bad loss, but that doesn't help our argument. We'd like to move the goalpost around here. There isn't a consistent criteria. All I know is what's on their website, and it says it values head-to-head. Now, you look at all the measurements.
They have the same exact record. They have a bevy of common opponents. Miami is better than Notre Dame, or right there with Notre Dame, in pretty much every single analytics advanced measurement you want to use, including the traditional win and loss. So did we! So when you look at the tiebreaker criteria, near the top is head-to-head. This one's easy, folks. It's cut and dry.
The reason that I think it's easy is different than the empirical ones that you're citing. I simply believe that I ask. Anybody who's been watching college football on Saturdays this year, do you think Miami is one of the 12 best teams in the country? Everyone is saying yes who's not biased by whatever their allegiances are. There's only one person who's not. There's a lot of bias.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss the implications of losing to Texas Tech?
They told us that all this stuff counts. It's called style points. I understand. Rooting the game. I understand why he was doing it. He still had his starters in at the end of the Pitt game.
Damn right he did. He's trying to win a national championship this year.
They're trying to tell us what the criteria is. It's not our fault that they change it week to week. But one of the things that we've heard is we have to be more impressive, especially against common opponents. So we've done that. Consistent both ways, as Greg Cody likes to say, that they've been consistent in opposite direction.
They have.
And you give them credit for that.
No, I don't. I fault them for that.
You said before you gave them, you said you had to at least give them credit for that.
But look, the dichotomy is ridiculous. They're not consistent. They should be behind Miami. And by the way, Notre Dame just scored 70 points on somebody.
It's not Syracuse. It's the one common opponent in which they outscored Miami.
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Chapter 7: What humorous exchanges arise from Greg Cody's navigation mishaps?
Damn, that's cold.
Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister US, White Plains, New York.
Don Levitard. You are a fool.
You're nobody. You are an infant. You have no thick skin. I literally put together a freaking stage for your toenail. I am your career right now, pal.
Look at me. I am your career. Stugatz. You have messed with me, David, and now you're messing with me, and I'm more dangerous, pal.
This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.
Thank you.
I don't know if I like to be referred to as helpful, but your point is wrong. You were just like bragging, but I'm here. Yep, you're helpful. I mean, I'm pro-UM. They are absolutely one of the 12 best teams.
You are a homer, a helpful homer. Look, you guys keep throwing these words out like homer and bias, thinking that it affects me. And war. Everyone knows what I am. I wear it on my sleeve. I am a proud Miami hurricane booster. I love this program pretty much more than anything that isn't a human being on this planet. And I will die for this program if I have to.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with reflections on loyalty and sports fandom?
Not funny. The one thing they don't have, though, is Davion Mitchell.
What? Davion Mitchell? I mean, he's making threes and he doesn't turn the ball over.
It's pretty impressive. You know about that off night? How about 30 more points from Norman Powell? The L's at the end, I don't know if those are. No? 30 more from Norman Powell! It's like a superhero. He's not Norman Powell. He's Norman Powell!
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