Chapter 1: What is Ryen Russillo's Instagram story about?
Yo, you see Ryan Russillo's Instagram story? I'm not on Instagram.
You want me to show you? I'm curious.
What what is it about? I all the time people are sending me Instagram stories or information. And any time I click on it, it says I have to download the app. I rarely not always, but I rarely get to just get the Instagram story the way that you get it. So I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, you want to download the app?
Are you going to tell people or are you just going to keep it in the shadows during the shadow show?
I do like the idea of not saying it and people going right now and learning for themselves. Given what I know about your algo. Oh, it's my algo, baby. You're like, why is Rossello popping up?
So you're not going to tell people? You're just going to tease them? You're not going to tell me? You're just going to tease me? You're not going to tell me what it is?
I like the surprise. For people listening, you go and you see for yourself. And then you're like, whoa, I'm so grateful that Zaslow told me to do that. You should not do it at work, listener. Really? And do it quick because it'll probably be deleted soon. What time did he do it?
Local? Was he out in the middle?
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Chapter 2: How heated is the rivalry between the Florida Panthers and Tampa Bay Lightning?
Yeah, it was a great sound a week ago. All right, Zazz, show Dan.
There it is. No! This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Basilewski. Again, I thought that they were dead. I thought that the haunted remains or the haunting remains of the Lightning were done. They're 19-1-1 in their last 21 games. And the question I wanted to pose to you guys before we get to Giannis' talk and just how unreasonably mad Zaz and Jeremy are at Giannis, like unreasonably mad, I want to present to you guys as a serious question.
I know there are rivalries all throughout sports that have a ton more history than the recent one at the top of hockey. I can't believe I'm saying that, but Tampa and Florida at the top of hockey. But go ahead and name all the teams that hate each other more than these two teams hate each other.
I know you've got rivalries and fan bases and everything else, but not every time they get together they want to fight and the penalty minutes are out of control and the refs can't control anything and you get into one of these situations where the ref is stumbling all over himself trying to say all the penalties.
He can't do it because there are too many of them. More to penalty. Number 77 and number 19. Both guys have two minutes for interference. Number 23, number 9, and number 6 have a 10-minute misconduct. And Florida, number 42, has five minutes for fighting and a game misconduct for the secondary altercation. And number 19 has five minutes for fighting and a game misconduct. Sorry.
No game misconduct to number 19. Tampa penalties, number 95 in a game for fighting. Number 38 has five minutes for fighting. And number 86, 37, and 59 have a 10-minute misconduct.
Those two officials, Garrett Rank and TJ Luxmore, are the worst in the National Hockey League. And they followed the Panthers. They did the Panthers game versus Boston on Wednesday. They followed them to Tampa. Both games were terrible, and it was a shit show last night.
I don't understand why they had such a hard time with sorting out the penalties. Dan, I mean, I didn't look at the clock, but my guess was it was probably about a 20-minute delay.
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Chapter 3: What star players did the Miami Heat miss out on acquiring?
Thank you. All the front porches have lightning flags. That is a hockey town first and foremost. It's crazy because they've won two Super Bowls. Tom Brady won one very recently.
The hatred, though. Give me players who hate each other. Memphis and the Lakers were doing it a little bit there for a minute when Shannon Sharp was coming off of the sidelines. But that seems to be a bygone age. The players hating each other on opposing teams.
Memphis and Golden State in the NBA hate each other. hated each other.
Yes, that's a good one. Those were good. But none of those end up in fights, right? And if they did back then, you would have had Dylan Brooks and Draymond Green, people who have these reputations. I'm not sure the Panthers, I mean, Kachuk's got some of this, but I'm not sure the Panthers have reputation of being hated and wanting to fight everybody.
They're irritants, and they play a style of hockey that bothers people, but I don't know that everybody wants to be fighting the Panthers.
Gustav Forsling is not that kind of guy. I've never seen him like that. And he was on the ice just delivering body blow after body blow.
He did not want to fight. He was actually fitting off... He's not a fighter.
He was getting punched with a glove on for like 30 straight seconds, it felt like. Yeah, and then he finally... And then he like spazzed out.
He's like...
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Chapter 4: Why are fans upset with the Heat's management decisions?
Dan Levatard. My algorithm on Instagram is dance all boobs.
Stugatz. It's a good algorithm. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugatz.
Okay, well that's what the reporting is and I want to cover some of this with you guys. So here is in terms of what it is that the Heat front office faces in terms of what I believe is fair criticism. When they have missed, the players are named Kyrie Irving, Kevin Durant, Donovan Mitchell, James Harden, Bradley Beal, Damian Lillard, Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, DeMar DeRozan, Ja Morant.
Have any of them won anything since they missed?
Well, hold on a second. Let Dan cook. Hold on a second, defensive guy.
Before you start propagandizing. Jumping right in there. I'm just saying.
I know, but we could have waited for you to just say it a little bit later once I got it off the ground. Learn from my mistakes. My God.
I'm going to say it again because there are a lot of things here and contracts here and injuries here that if the Heat got stuck with Westbrook, if they got stuck with Beal, if they got stuck with Lillard, I think Heat fans wouldn't be happy with those contracts and those players. If they got Kyrie Irving... I think they'd be happy. Kevin Durant, I think they'd be happy.
Donovan Mitchell, I think they'd be happy. James Harden, I think they'd be happy because he plays all the time. Chris Paul, oddly enough, I think they would be happy. DeRozan, meh. But right in the middle, and John Morant, I just heard you guys say, like, this is one of the big stunners of my sports lifetime.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of the Heat's strategy to keep their assets?
All of a sudden, we're telling people put water in a fire. They have a grease fire. No, it gets worse. It gets worse. You guys are having a different conversation.
Well, we're having a conversation about a grease fire instead of a regular fire.
You just felt like doing a PSA? The conversation is advanced. Smokey the bear.
Look, somebody's going to be thanking us later in life if they get a grease fire. And in that moment of great panic, they're like, wait a minute. I remember Roy saying, don't throw water on this. It'll make it worse.
Use baking soda. I have a fire extinguisher. You don't want to do water in the kitchen. You ever think about getting that blanket that they advertise, like that infomercial? I have thought about it. Yeah, I have thought about it.
That's all you guys have done is thought about it?
Yeah.
I haven't purchased it. So basically all you've done is watched a commercial. Now we're all going to get that ad. I'm just answering the questions. Algorithm. Well, this bothers me. Are we going to get that ad?
We are.
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Chapter 6: How do recent trades impact the Miami Heat's future?
I'm only upset right now that I don't get to do this in person, Paul Pierce. How disappointed is it to be a Miami fan right now?
Stugatz.
Brother, actually, you make a really great point.
This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.
Okay, I'm going to need you to just basically calm down and just... Go and cool off and take care of yourself because you're not necessarily being unreasonable, but you're very, very emotional. The dog and pony show needs to be extinct, right? I know there's a Westminster dog show, but those don't have ponies. There's no such thing anymore as a dog and pony show, right?
That's no longer something that you can go anywhere in the world and see a dog and pony show, correct? There are places. Amsterdam.
Guadalajara.
Do you know that the Miami Heat, Mike, Barry Jackson has put this out to the anger that you guys are talking about. They have 10 commandments. You guys aren't going to like them.
What did they tell him to say?
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Chapter 7: What does the discussion reveal about player rivalries in sports?
James Harden.
I think it certainly would have helped. We were talking about Tyler Hero for James Harden.
Wait a minute, Zaz doesn't agree with that one either.
Yeah, I'm a no on that one. For Hero? They play the same amount of defense. I'm not the biggest James Harden fan, but I think he's better than Tyler Hero.
Wait a minute, I'm not getting any consensus on some I thought were easy. Durant I'm going to get consensus on. You both wanted Durant, correct? Durant 3X. Yeah. Three times. Any of the times. Any of the times. Donovan Mitchell? Yeah.
Yeah. Clearly. I was a no at the time, but that was obviously wrong. Russell Westbrook? He ended up being an all-star for Houston that year. That would have been fun. The year that Russell Westbrook, he had one great year left in him, and he ended up having that.
That's a hard no for me on Russell Westbrook.
Yeah, I'm a no. All right. I do believe he was an all-star that year.
DeRozan? No. I think DeRozan could have helped. I'm with Dan. Meh. He could have helped. And then Ja Morant. No. Ja Morant cheap. For Jaime Jaquez. Ja Morant cheap interests me. It's not just Jaquez. It's Jaquez, a first-round pick, and that Rozier contract has value and gives you flexibility in the offseason.
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Chapter 8: What are the key commandments guiding the Miami Heat's management?
Not that tough. This is happening to me. Linoleum got me one time bad. This was 10 years ago, and I've never made a mistake since. But linoleum, whoo!
Go ahead and play Coca. Nobody dig up that tape. Coca again on nothing personal.
Social media has done this, right? And YouTube does this and Twitter and Instagram and TikTok. It's it in sense of in sense, geez, in sense of you got this. No, I lost it right there. I watched it.
And now my guess is I can't finish.
Yeah, no, I can. I can finish it. Incentivizes stealing.
I was in the room yesterday when Chris is doing this, and it's not even like when he screws up the word. It really took me aback. It's not even like when he screws up the word, then he then starts over. No, no. He's laying down, like, multiple tracks. It's called a pickup. And then sends it in, and it's really just like the person on the other end of the piece it together.
No, I feel better. When I heard you doing that, I felt bad at the amount of editing that that was going to require. Regardless, play the sound of me stumbling short-circuiting on the word matriculate. Matriculate the ball down the field. That is unbelievable. That is a scratched record is what that is. Do you have the sound or are you having difficulty finding the sound?
First, I want to find the one I did yesterday because I don't think you guys are overselling how bad it was. But no, I have you do a matriculate. We are efforting to find me messing up the Sheets and Giggles reads.
You were in another room and we were watching you and you didn't know that we were watching you and you were just, you were cursing at yourself because you were struggling so much to read it.
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