Chapter 1: What recent events have influenced the Miami Heat's performance?
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All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal.
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Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York.
Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff. No purchase necessary.
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Chapter 2: How does Tyler Herro's return impact the Miami Heat's strategy?
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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth?
Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold.
Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York. The beloved Jim Mandich once described certain listeners during a different radio age, he would say, of people who listened to the show during the
working hours that they were corporate times stealing weasels and this week i'm the executive of a corporation and i've got on my hands a an assortment of employees who are corporate time stealing uh weasels because no one's trying this week no one in america is trying at work this week And Chris Cody says to me, let's just do a Thanksgiving show. I'll play Thanksgiving sounds from our past.
Oh, John Gruden hand turkey. See the hand. Random Thanksgiving. You want to talk and you want to do. No, I've got this right. There's no employee in America trying this week.
Correct.
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Chapter 3: What role does Kel'el Ware play in the Miami Heat's lineup?
I mean, I typed Thanksgiving into my computer and I saw what came up.
What'd you find? Can you do better than them? Can you do better than them with your lazy Thanksgiving show as Mike's talking about what a heavy lift yesterday was?
I mean, Mike said a great one. John Gruden talking about hand turkey.
Yeah. That was your cue. Don't say f*** off the air.
It's very important that I start at the rear first. This tail feather gives me speed and precision. And it's these mid feathers you gotta be careful with as you go around your Super Bowl ring, you know. But these middle feathers are the brain of the outfit. And this front feather, that points the direction that this hand turkey goes.
Do we forgive him? I forgive him. I forgive him. Jameis has this thing, too. And I know now that Jeremy's back in. So it's going to be likable? You're just going to do likable now? Well, this guy seems to have learned the lessons. It is Thanksgiving. I love him, too. You learned. I'm ready for you to come back to a job. Really? You guys are doing this with... What? We decided it with Mike Tyson.
You learn from the first one, the second one, the third one.
I did my first ever radio show 21 years ago Thanksgiving. First ever. No experience. Throw me on the air.
Yeah! Nobody's listening on Thanksgiving. We needed someone to do, like, $7.90 a ticket. You're working a holiday for $9 an hour. I did like five straight hours on Thanksgiving. I had so many trembling voice sports flashes for me during the holiday shifts at 790.
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Chapter 4: How are the Miami Heat adapting their playstyle this season?
You were doing, Zaslow was doing a five-hour solo show on Thanksgiving?
No, no, no.
It was me and Zach Krantz. Head coach Jacques Martin says David Booth should be good to go. Puck drop at the NCRC is at 730. Zaslow, you worked five straight hours on Thanksgiving Day, no holiday. How much were you making an hour?
I was on salary, but my salary was so pathetic. You want to guess what my first year's salary was?
$7 an hour?
Let's remember, Stu Gatz was the one who paid me. $28,000.
That's exactly right. What?
Wow.
Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of the 2024 NBA Draft discussions?
Hey, happy Thanksgiving, buddy. I'm going home to Tampa and I'm looking for some dressing and some ham because Boog don't do turkey, baby.
What else do you have from your lazy Thanksgiving file?
Lazy?
That's not lazy. Okay, he's doing a tough job.
You've got to run a search. Come on, man. I have Bill Belichick talking about his favorite side dishes.
Other than football, what's your favorite Thanksgiving side dish? Yeah. Well, I mean, pretty much everything. There's not much food that I don't like, so. Why can't we start with dessert? But got to leave room for everything else. So, yeah, it's great. It's a great holiday. It's a great holiday. Football, family, and football. I mean, football, family, and food. So, yeah, sign me up.
He forgot the family part. Football, family, and football. Yeah, he meant to say football and football and football. What else do you have from your Thanksgiving file of lazy work because you, like everyone else in America, isn't actually working this week?
I have Rhys Davis reading a looks like submission for us.
Greg Williams looks like your divorced uncle who brings a call girl to Thanksgiving.
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Chapter 6: How does the team compare to other Eastern Conference teams?
Okay. All right, so that's that. It's a little lazy. Okay, I admit. I was really worried with the setup and the former team name. I'm like, Kras, Kras, Kras. You heard the silence? Where's he going? Where's he going? It took me a second to find Commander's name. It's like Will Chamberlain yesterday. It's like, it's in there somewhere. Somebody get me the right.
I have Les Miles talking about my favorite part of Thanksgiving. We can get to that later.
Can't tell the story of Thanksgiving without them. And I don't mean the commanders. Call girl.
It's Greg Williams. If I made a list of people, I would at least would want to say that.
Look, I think my father calls them ladies of the night or I think he graduated at his tawdryest to street walker. But call girl like that seems like that was out of style.
i don't call girl was like two generations ago on like it's not okay to say that anymore that's not what we're calling that's not what we're calling ladies of the night i think it's the most respectful way yeah do you have less miles there uh talking about thanksgiving i am the easiest man to please when it comes to food um i i have to be honest i think it's a uh i think it's definitely the turkey with a warm gravy
maybe it's the last spoon or fork of food on the plate, you know, that has a little bit of salt and pepper and maybe a little bit of the turkey and gravy and some of the stuffing that would be there and maybe just a smidgen of that cranberry stuff, right? Not like a big, not kind of overwhelm the last bite, but that right there, Oh, my goodness, right? That last bite's worth a lot.
I might add that the turkey sandwich with mayonnaise, mustard, onions, and a little salad, a little lettuce, kind of makes for good eating later, too, doesn't it?
Now, while he makes a tremendous point, not ready to forgive him. I was just about to forgive him. I was about to be ready for champion Les Miles to get back in the LSU hunt because that one's interesting. I want to get to Lane Kiffin later in the show, but let's bypass the Panthers for a moment and just celebrate what seems to be a Miami Heat team that's going to be relevant all year.
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Chapter 7: What controversies surround the Miami Heat's management decisions?
You texted me yesterday, you have a good team. And then 20 minutes later, I didn't respond to it. You're like, oh, I'm sorry, that text wasn't for you. I was like, there's no way this guy's talking about the Cyclones. Who was that for? Someone with the heat? Because they have a good team. It was meant for Mickey Arison. Yes. And Mike Ryan and Mickey Arison are like alphabetically.
So you confuse sports owners. I get it. Yeah. Your Cyclones. Well, your Cyclones also are owner friends. Your Cyclones, representative standard bearers in the market, more first places than not during their tenure? Well, you know, we don't need to get into it. Been a bit of a dry spell for the Cyclones, but we are the top seed with two weeks left to go in the season.
But damn, we have a bueno predicament.
Bueno's been out all year. He just came back and we're starting playoffs now. We've been cooking without him all year.
but we have to work him back into the rotation. And a lot of front-on rust on Bueno last game. Now the league has come down and made a ruling. Robin's been such a great replacement for us. They said Robin gets half the playoff matches and Bueno gets half the playoff matches, which is great if Bueno is in form. But if we're dealing with Rusty Bueno, Dan... We have a good thing going here.
It's kind of like Tom Brady and Drew Bledsoe. I was going to say it's kind of like Tyler Hero, except we learned Tyler Hero is still awesome and the Heat are going to be better with him. We learned nothing about Tyler Hero. He fits the offense.
How can you say that?
That was like the worst offensive performance of the season. Yeah, how about Simone Fontecchio make a shot? They were 5 of 27 from 3. It had nothing to do with Tyler Hero. No, Tyler Hero, I looked at the box score. I didn't watch the game.
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Chapter 8: What future challenges do the Miami Heat face this season?
But Tyler Hero seems to have had a good game. But I also looked at the box score, and I'm like, wow, Tyler Hero really fits in nicely. He helped the team win. And then I see box score, Norm Powell, zero minutes. I'm like, that's the one. I can stop you for just a moment because it was fun going between championship excellence on my televisions because I wasn't watching two games at once.
I was toggling between them. And so I'm watching the Panthers throttle Nashville, score eight goals against Nashville. And I'm watching that, but I'm also watching... What has been the standard bearer for sports in this market over 25 years took the city away from the Dolphins.
I'm watching this science lab across the street over here that we all know to be like a bit of a military school for we will sharpen the 10 best players into something and try and change the sport. Once we get out from what this Jimmy thing was, what you saw from Tyler Hero last night that is most encouraging is the game is going to be made very easy for him this way.
If you're going to open up the floor that way and have him just be super efficient mid-range when he's just doing, he's killing you in the mid-range. Now, they missed a million shots last night. Like that Dallas, they were playing the third time in four nights. Dallas stinks.
It was like 0-0 midway through the first quarter.
Dallas stinks. Wasn't it like eight minutes without a basket?
Eight minutes, it was 0-0. The whole team started like 0-6. He were 0-3 from the free throw.
I think it was 1-14 combined at one point. Let's not get lost in the minutia of the following. Okay, yes, you could have lost last night. Klay could have taken the three or not passed it up. Or you could have lost. You should have lost. You threw the game away at the end. And Dallas just missed those shots at the end. And it would have been a really bad loss at home.
But macro on what we're talking about here, they're going after this season with a pace that doesn't have a precedent, that numerically you will see the time spent in the half court. When they run on you, they will wear you down in the fourth quarter. And they have at the center of it, in Khalil Ware, what appears to be a bit of an extraterrestrial.
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