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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Shaq Was An Underachiever

22 Oct 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What new song did Greg debut and how does it relate to basketball?

0.672 - 27.343 Zach Zaslow

Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.

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27.624 - 36.67 Zach Zaslow

If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.

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38.472 - 56.237 Unknown

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal.

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56.697 - 60.142 Unknown

Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion.

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Chapter 2: How does Kevin Durant's legacy compare to Brad Marchand's?

60.162 - 72.296 Unknown

Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.

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72.737 - 85.352 Unknown

Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

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86.228 - 105.195 Unknown

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.

105.215 - 105.916 Unknown

No purchase necessary.

Chapter 3: What qualities make a good NFL team owner?

105.956 - 114.868 Unknown

Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website.

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115.726 - 136.081 Mike Ryan

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth?

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137.223 - 140.569 Mike Ryan

Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.

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Chapter 4: How did the recent basketball games evoke emotional responses?

140.809 - 147.804 Chris Cody

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister must be drank ice cold.

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147.824 - 160.009 Mike Ryan

Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.

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160.883 - 186.985 Greg Cody

I can tell from looking at Greg Cody, who is a bit post-coital, that he has just done some singing, and soon there will be a new open that will have his song in it. An open? You can tell from looking at him. You can tell that he feels like he has accomplished something. He was just telling me yesterday that Hee Haw 3 needs to perform in Las Vegas and do a documentary. He wants a documentary.

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187.046 - 189.928 Greg Cody

He wants Metal Ark to make a documentary on Hee Haw 3.

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189.908 - 205.006 Stugatz

Yeah, it's time. I mean, we've been a band for 50, 60 years, and at least I have been part of the band for that long, and it needs a documentary. But that's the first time I've ever been described as looking like I'm post-coital. So thank you for that.

205.087 - 207.65 Greg Cody

Radiant. Zaz, do you not see the happiness on him?

Chapter 5: What insights can we gain from Brad Marchand's return to Boston?

207.69 - 215.925 Zach Zaslow

Yeah, he's got a smile. You know, it's like an artist who is ready to... you know, show their art to the world. That's exactly what it's like.

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216.586 - 224.766 Greg Cody

He is, but he's pleased with whatever work it is that he's done. Or it could just be that everything centers around him and that gives him the equal pleasure.

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224.967 - 229.076 Zach Zaslow

Is it like a debut for you too? Have you seen Final Cut? I have not.

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229.236 - 244.9 Greg Cody

Oh, so you'll be watching it for the first time with us. Okay, I wonder what it'll be about. Mike Ryan was also muttering under his breath while you were performing the new Open, just grumbling about Notre Dame fans being funny, and I don't think he actually finds them funny. No, they're not.

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245.12 - 259.298 Mike Ryan

They're mad that someone else would consider hiring their coach. It's a strange thing. Well, he wouldn't go. I'm not – okay, that's his decision. But how dare you say some other school may want to hire him? What are we doing? Isn't that a good thing?

Chapter 6: How does Tua's performance affect team dynamics and respect?

259.318 - 260.98 Zach Zaslow

It's like a compliment to your coach.

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261 - 280.872 Mike Ryan

But he would never leave. I don't know. I kind of saw your coach leave for an SEC school a couple years ago, and I happen to know that he's talked to other people. You happen to know? I happen to know that Marcus Freeman and his agents have done some back to him. He happens to know? Great Scott, he happens to know. He happens to know. Gather everyone. Get the children. He happens to know.

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282.574 - 295.051 Mike Ryan

So wise. People get really offended when the perception is even hinted at that their place is a stepping stone. This happened with Oregon and Mario Crispo. That's why they hate Mario Crispo so much.

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295.071 - 299.818 Greg Cody

This place considers itself less of a stepping stone than any place in college football.

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299.798 - 305.664 Mike Ryan

I don't know if they have $15 million to pay coaches. They typically don't do that. It's supposed to be everyone's dream job.

Chapter 7: What are the implications of Stephen Ross's ownership of the Dolphins?

305.684 - 306.785 Mike Ryan

Ohio State would like a word.

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306.905 - 311.951 Greg Cody

No, I'm telling you this. I understand what you're saying. There's greatness in plenty of places.

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312.191 - 321.661 Amin El-Hassan

Holier than thou, only one. Do you think when they need money, do they call the Pope and say, hey, man, Marcus Freeman's about to leave. We need another strong $15 million.

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321.681 - 330.645 Unknown

Open up the coffers here in the Vatican. They got quite the endowment. What do they got in there, by the way? What's going on down there? Something upon them. In the coffers? In the coffers of the Vatican, Dan. You know what's going on down there? Vampires.

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330.866 - 333.655 Greg Cody

I don't want to talk about what's going on in the coffers of the Vatican. What's going on down there?

333.675 - 336.083 Unknown

We need to have that conversation. Not yet, but soon.

Chapter 8: What lessons can we learn from the discussion about underachievement in sports?

339.792 - 387.708 Stugatz

Basketball is back, Jack. Time for our favorite winter sport. The summertime is over, so let's head down to the court. Time for the tip-off. Give me fast breaks on the attack. Will you shoot a three or take it to the rack? Basketball is back, Jack. It's a dream shape down in the post Or a killer cross you love the most When the offense tries to run and gun Is it man to man or box and one?

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389.77 - 422.696 Stugatz

It's big plays and talking smack That's how you know that basketball is back Jack Let me hear you say, basketball, basketball, basketball. Basketball is back, Jack. 360 dunks and pick and rolls. And we're going to watch it every day till they raise the Larry O. Hard fouls and hook shots. A dagger three and hack a shag. If you say this game's the best, I'll say it's a gag.

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423.156 - 442.432 Stugatz

Basketball is back, Jack. Basketball is back.

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442.452 - 443.475 Unknown

Basketball is back. Basketball is

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447.775 - 463.641 Greg Cody

We got to get that guy to stop breaking bottles over people's heads in the office. That seems really unsafe. I don't think when the offense is on the run, one of the options is box and one. Yeah, I don't think that's what's happening there. When's the last time you box and one was played, you think?

464.228 - 468.615 Stugatz

Wow. I'll have to admonish my lyricist on that one.

468.996 - 495.973 Greg Cody

On a day when basketball reopens and Amin is in town flying in with urgency because basketball has reopened, we opened with a hockey story. Oh, come on. Hit the other open. The rarest of things that you get in sports is we talk about drama and soap opera and beef and everyone hating each other. Just a super sweet moment. Just a super sweet moment that broke one of the tough games

495.953 - 522.703 Greg Cody

dirty irritants that that sport has ever seen with one of the greatest stories, and everyone in Florida and Boston could appreciate, oh, they still love him, and he still loves them, and Marchand is trying to keep it together, and he's got no shot at keeping it together as he's watching the video montage, and he gets the career eulogy of his life flashing before his eyes when they've got those banners, and it says 2011, you see the one next to it,

522.683 - 527.828 Greg Cody

1972! Like, there's no back-to-back there that Marchand is going back to.

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