My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex Since I’ve Gained Weight
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Why did my husband say he's no longer attracted to me?
About a year ago, my husband had confided in me that he was no longer sexually attracted because I had gained a significant amount of weight. I had been suffering with depression, anxiety, and was put on antidepressants.
Oh, yikes. What up? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Man, I am a ball of chaos this morning, man. I am running late all over the place. I tried to do 714 things this morning. Kelly, you look beautiful.
I thank you, first of all, and I know you're saying that because you were late this morning.
Listen.
But I appreciate it, nonetheless.
And we have Andrew number three on the YouTubes today. Do you want to tell them what you did last time you were in that chair? No. No?
If that's where we're going, then you have to tell every time you mess something up.
Let's go to Atlanta and talk to Lynn. Hey, Lynn, what's going on, man? Hey, how's it going? I'm good. What's up in your world?
Quite a bit, actually.
Oh, man. Well, jump on in.
What's up? Yeah, about a year ago. My husband had confided in me that he was no longer sexually attracted because I had gained a significant amount of weight. So I am really looking for guidance on how I can kind of get through that. It's been a rocky year since that conversation.
Well, tell me more about it. I know that's really hard to hear, and if that's a loving, direct, like, I just want to be honest and not hold secrets back, that can be a really hard, hard conversation. But I want to honor both his honesty with you and y'all's ability to sit at a table and have this hard conversation. If he just threw a grenade at you and was ugly about it, then that's a whole different conversation. But what led up to that conversation? And then tell me about the last year.
Well, I had been suffering with depression, anxiety. So I sought out some help and was put on antidepressants.
Oh, yikes.
And that had started the weight gain. So before then, I'd typically been pretty good shape, very active and whatnot. But we both kind of noticed like, hey, the weight gain is like coming on a little bit quicker and as active as I am, I can't get it off.
Did the meds kill your libido too?
A little bit, yeah. But so shortly, like after that, I was, you know, seeking more counseling and whatnot. Finally got to a place where I'm like, you know what? I really need to love myself for who I am, for how I am at this time in my life. It's a season. We'll get through it. Blah, blah, blah. So I came home one day and I'm like, sit down with him. I'm like, you know what? I really need to love myself for who I am. It's not about how much I look, what I look like or what size I am like this. We will get over it. And he just looked at me and said, I'm sorry, but I can't, like, this is not attractive to me.
And so take me back to that moment when you had that conversation. Here's what it sounds like. It sounds like a collision of both people, however hard or messy it is, both people sitting down there telling the truth.
Yeah. And that's, it was devastating to hear that.
Was it devastating about him putting on the table, hey, things have changed physically between us? Or was it devastating that you said, hey, I'm struggling. I'm going to be in a season, and I want you by my side. And he said, nah, I'm not doing that.
A little bit of both, but it almost felt like, had you been lying to me up until this point, like, are you just faking it? And that's why I can't get over it.
Okay, so take me back to the last year.
A lot of distance. You know, we did have conversations, and exactly like what you said, he was like, you know, it's really hard for me to say this to you, but I need to be honest, and, you know, we need to have those hard conversations as much as you don't want to hear those. But I just feel like maybe there could have been a different approach, and it was just, it felt really... like a punch in the gut when it was, Hey, you know what? I just came back from this counseling session. I feel good about where I'm at. And he's like, yeah, no, sorry.
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