My Wife Brags to Friends About Her Past Sex Life
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How should I address my wife's past?
What in the world is going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. I'm so, so grateful that you're with us. Wherever you happen to be, I hope you're doing well. I hope life's going okay. And I hope you are making good choices. I'm looking at a couple of folks behind the glass that don't make good choices.
And that's how we ended up on this show.
What should I do about my wife's glorification of her past?
I know. Somewhere your couriers took a tragic turn. But for everybody listening, I'm glad y'all are here. It's good to talk to you all and good to be with you. If you want to be on the show, real people going through real challenges, mental and emotional health, your relationships, whatever you got going on, dealing with grief, dealing with, I hope things, I wish things were going to be a certain way. They're not anymore. Whatever you got going on, I'll sit with you. 1-844-693-3291. You can leave a message and we'll holler back at you. Or you can go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K. All right, let's go to Auburn, Alabama and talk to Jesse. Hey, Jesse, what's up? Hey, Dr. John. What's up, man?
Hey, man. I'm just calling to see if you can help me work through something. I've been married for about 20 years and Had what I thought was a great relationship and hopefully still do. What happened? I've recently stumbled across some messages where my wife has been talking to some co-workers of hers. They're close friends, co-workers. They do go on work retreats together and spend a little time together. I have found, I stumbled across some where she had been referencing some conversations she had with them about some previous partners she had had back in college and sort of talked about them kind of braggingly so, kind of glorifying the glory days, so to speak. And it really, really hit me pretty hard.
And I am just trying to figure out how to... how to handle this information.
So I hear the hurt in your voice, okay? Let me ask you a few questions. So you say the glory days. Did your wife have multiple sexual partners back in college?
That's another question.
difference between the two of us um hold on hold on let me just answer that question did she have multiple partners back in college she did okay she did um yeah and so y'all been married 20 years and you found some text messages that she was texting some co-workers male or female co-workers it's actually a group account social media um that she has um
How can I cope with feelings of insecurity?
where there's a little clique of four of them. Okay. Two women and a man. Okay.
So when she was talking about the quote-unquote glory days, give me some examples.
She would say things like, you know, in the context, she'd be talking about, you know, former and how she had lots of love in college. That was a quote. And how the ages 19 to 23 were like heaven, or she hopes that's what heaven's like. And she would reference a few of the men and about the story that accompanied that and when they talked about it at the last meeting. trip they were on.
The story about, so she went into detail about having sex with one of these dudes or a couple of these dudes and what she liked about it, didn't like about it and all that?
Fortunately not. Not a lot of detail, but I'm just seeing the tip of the iceberg. I'm just seeing the reference on when this story was associated with this person or that person.
How do you know it's the tip of the iceberg?
Well, what I stumbled upon was her text threads where she referenced those stories, where when they were together, you know, she talked about this guy, and that's when, you know, we were at this resort when I was telling you all about this guy, and those are the threads that I'm seeing. So I'm now sort of discovering that she's talked about these former sexcapades, that she's, you know, when they're together, and then while they're chatting on the text thread, the social media text thread, you know, when they're talking, you know, referencing more about it and making more jokes or just whatever she's just talked about. I just can't believe she said these things.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How should I address my wife's past?
0:29–0:48
2
What should I do about my wife's glorification of her past?
0:48–3:32
3
How can I cope with feelings of insecurity?
3:32–34:51
4
What are healthy boundaries for friends with addiction?
34:51–35:20
5
How do I support a friend struggling with alcoholism?
35:20–39:23
6
What should I do if I feel burdened by my friend's secrets?
39:23–49:35
7
How do I maintain my values while helping a friend?
49:35–52:04
8
What should I do if my friend is dishonest about her recovery?
52:04–1:05:06