595: The Nervous System Tools That Help You Feel Calm, Safe, and in Control | Jonny Miller

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The Genius Life 1h 0m 2 speakers 7 chapters transcribed 4 hours ago
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Unknown 0:00
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Max Lugavere 0:26
What's going on everybody? It's episode 595 of The Genius Life. Let's rock.
Unknown 0:33
Ensay genius of the man Together! Last little
Max Lugavere 0:41
bit.
Unknown 0:42
Genial.
Max Lugavere 0:43
It's a lot of things. The genius light. What up everybody, welcome back to the Genius Life. I'm your host, Max Lugavere. Ever had one small thing go wrong? I don't know, parking ticket, a tense conversation, a bad night's sleep, and felt like it hijacked your entire day? Well, today's guest, nervous system educator Johnny Miller, argues that we can get better at finding our way back no matter what the circumstances. Johnny shares practical ways to recognize when you're becoming reactive and use your breath, your body, and even your field of vision to regain a sense of calm. We talk about why conflict. Can make one person lash out while another shuts down, how to shorten the time it takes to reconnect, and why the goal isn't to never feel stressed, it's to have more choice with regards to what happens next.
Max Lugavere 1:31
This conversation also gets personal. Johnny shares how losing his fiancé led him to his work, and we talk about grief, including what caring for my body helped me get through when my mom was ill. It's a super thoughtful conversation about feeling what's hard without letting it dictate your whole life. If it resonates, please Please guys share it with somebody in your life who might benefit from it, pay it forward, and consider leaving a rating review on your podcast app of choice. I read them all, and they all mean a lot to me. Now, with all that out of the way, let's get into it. Here's episode 595. Let's rock. Johnny Miller, what's going on? Welcome to the show. It's great to be here. Thanks for coming out.
Max Lugavere 2:03
Uh agency. I love the concept of agency. I love the concept of self-empowerment. And uh I'm excited for all that we're about to talk about. So thanks for coming out. I love to just dive right in. How do you shift from life is happening to me to recognizing the role that you're playing in your own experience?
Jonny Miller 2:21
Yeah, totally. Great question. So I feel like for me, our nervous systems are the lens through which we experience reality. So depending on the state of our nervous system, it will actually change what we're paying attention to and what we actually experience. And so For me, I'm generally in a higher place of agency. I can happen to the world when I'm in a place that is more spacious, more grounded, and more centered. And versus I think a lot of people feel like when they're uh being being having a challenging time or being reactive, that is when their nervous system is in a defensive, kind of contracted place. And there are different ways. that our nervous system have learned to defend against our our experience.
Jonny Miller 3:06
But it's it's essentially a protective mechanism which reduces our options and narrows our experience and constricts our emotions and makes everything seems safer, but actually makes it much harder.
Max Lugavere 3:19
Mm. So how do is it is is it just about like Getting off getting Off on the wrong side of the bed um in the morning. Like, how do we how do we set ourselves up to be less defensive over the course of the day and more,
Jonny Miller 3:33
I
Max Lugavere 3:34
guess, on the offense?
Jonny Miller 3:35
Yeah, totally.

What is the nervous system and how does it shape our experience of reality?

Jonny Miller 3:35
So I I actually see this as being a set of skills that we can cultivate. Um the three main skills that I think are important are interoception, which is basically how aware of your body are you? How well do you notice when you're in these reactive places? Because if you don't notice, then you can be in that state for 10 hours and then look back and like, oh, today was terrible. Um the second set is self-regulation. So when I'm in that place, okay, what do I do to Find myself again, to find my center, to ground myself.

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