Blowjobs 101
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How can you stay present and enjoy giving a blowjob?
Sex is always a mutual thing, even if, you know, at times one person is doing more to the other person, you still want to have that sense of mutuality and you want to be enjoying it yourself as well. And to be able to do that, you can't be in your head going, oh, gosh, am I doing this right? Are they enjoying it? Oh, boy, did I just use my teeth? Ah, is this wet enough? No, because in your head, you're not in your body and you won't be enjoying it in that same way.
The hook-up. Love and f***ing.
On Triple J. Hey, Sarah McVie with you. How are your blowjob skills? On this podcast, we get schooled by two pros. Sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer shares advice on how to relax and enjoy giving head. And Isla View gives us the cliff notes from her class, The Art of Fallatio. You
might be surprised by some of the tips she swears by. recognizing that you're in control of your own pleasure during that experience can make the blowjob a lot better. So if you're giving the blowjob, you can potentially find yourself in a position where you can pleasure yourself while you're pleasuring someone else. Maybe that's a pillow between your legs. Maybe that's pushing your body up against the person that's receiving the blowjob or using your own hands to manually manipulate yourself.
Do you find that a lot of women or men get, I don't know, maybe kind of self-conscious about their performance?
Yeah, absolutely. I think we need to get out of our heads when we're giving a blowjob because the person who is receiving it is totally engaged in the experience. And there's no reason why we can't be totally engaged in that experience too. There's one suggestion that I could make, potentially listening to some music. A blowjob is really rhythmical and while you're bobbing that head, there's no reason why you can't be bobbing the rest of your body along. And that really engages you and grounds you in your body instead of thinking, am I doing this right? Are they enjoying this? Oh my God, my jaw is starting to hurt. You're just enjoying the movement and feeling sensual in your own body as well. You've been teaching a class called The Art of Fallatio.
What do your students learn? They learn some tricks, tips and techniques of giving a blowjob, but also finding ways that they can make that pleasure more intense for themselves while they're performing those techniques.
What basic advice does sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer give for relaxing while giving head?
What could some of those tips or tricks be? Oh, I can tell you some of the more unusual ones. I think my favorite is the self-induced gagging. I think that's an enjoyable one because a lot of the time, potentially a partner might want to face fuck you, but this is a good way to kind of get that dynamic going on, but when the giver is still in control. So it just involves giving letting the penis go as far as you can down the back of your throat and intentionally engaging your gag reflex. It pinches the tip of the penis and it can be quite a turn on for the person receiving it thinking this person's gagging on my penis when really the person who has done the gagging has done that and they're in control of it.
What are some of the biggest mistakes that people can make when they're giving head? The biggest mistake would just be not asserting yourself, yeah? Doing something that you're not comfortable with. So as long as you feel comfortable with the situation, I think the blowjob could be an enjoyable experience for both of those people.
Someone's texted in to say that they used to hate giving them, but now they love them. And she says that positive feedback gave her confidence.
Is
that something that you've found that can kind of boost people and that maybe there's a role for the person receiving
head? Yeah, there is a bit of a responsibility there, I think. There's nothing more of a turn on for the person who's receiving the blowjob to know that the person who's giving that blowjob is enjoying it. So a moan here or there, that's great, I love it. is so much encouragement and can enthuse that person who's giving the blowjob on more. You've talked
quite a bit about making it something that is beneficial to the person giving it.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How can you stay present and enjoy giving a blowjob?
0:00–2:29
2
What basic advice does sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer give for relaxing while giving head?
2:29–5:14
3
How can you pleasure yourself while performing a blowjob?
5:14–6:54
4
What is the self‑induced gagging technique and how do you do it safely?
6:54–8:56
5
What are common mistakes and how can you assert yourself during a blowjob?
8:56–11:23
6
How can you give constructive feedback to a partner about their blowjob technique?
11:23–13:21
7
Is it safe to swallow after a blowjob and how can you do it discreetly?
13:21–15:24
8
How does giving a blowjob empower the giver and affect power dynamics?
15:24–16:57