Can you be friends with your ex?Can you be friends with your ex

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Can you be friends with an ex without being best friends?

Greta 0:00

I mean you don't have to be best friends. at the end of the relationship but you have to have some kind of a rapport 'cause you will cross paths. The гука Love and

Sarah McVee 0:21

honey.

Greta 0:23

On Triple J.

Sarah McVee 0:26

Warning. Sex and adult themes. Sarah McVee here filling in for Hannah Riley. Are you friends with your ex? Maybe you can't stand the sight of them. Well, relationships coach Ann Hunter will join us in just a moment to teach us how to stay friends. But first, hookup producer James Finlay spoke to two girls with very different views on this. Here he is speaking with comedian Alex Ward.

Alex Ward 0:55

I think there's a difference between being friendly and friends and I just think don't be friends. You don't even try. The only way I've been friends with exes is because we have both actually forgotten over time. Uh what happened before. And I don't actually know why any of my exes would want to be friends with me. Like the way I can react during a breakup is not good. I once ran around a room, my ex's room, and just told her everything I hated about her room. I'd just been holding on to it for four years. I uh I went to an ex in Berlin once and everything was going fine. We'd been broken up for maybe a year or so. Everything was going fine until I ordered a pale ale and then Uh she sort of implied that I never used to order a pale ale.

Alex Ward 1:36

Mm and I said, Well yeah, I didn't, but now I don't mind a pale ale. She's like, Well, if you can change on that, why couldn't you change on other things? And then we just ended up in this massive argument with so many tears. And I think I I just think a real friend wouldn't care that you changed your mind about Paleam.

James Finlay 1:51

No, no, I I I absolutely agree.

Alex Ward 1:53

There's too much history. There's just too much history. And I think like the the saying, you know, there's plenty of fish in the sea, relationship wise, I think that's the same with friends. And I think you can just acknowledge that, yeah, they were a good person and obviously you had a connection, but I think it's just easier to just to just go.

James Finlay 2:10

However, Greta from Melbourne has some advice as to why you should probably keep friends with your exes when you're a lesbian.

Greta 2:20

Everyone is connected. I wish it wasn't the case because that would be a little bit more um a little bit more fun, a little bit more room to move, I think. But it's just it's just how it is. I mean, even if you don't directly see them, like for example, I have a 30th coming up in November and I know that one of my exes will be there. Because we're friends with the same lesbian couple. So even I mean you don't have to be best friends. At the end of the relationship, but you have to have some kind of a rapport 'cause you will cross paths.

James Finlay 2:54

Uh how about your experiences with your exes? Do you hold true to the stereotype?

Greta 2:59

Yes and no. I had one breakup that was a little bit tricky and it took me a while to get over. And we're now friends, but I did a lot of work. Towards that, just ask my therapist. Um Wish I was kidding, but I'm never Then I have another X where we broke up and it was all a bit messy and it was sort of lesbian stereotype where you break up, get back together, break up, get back together. We did all of that stuff, which I I'd sworn I would never be that person and then suddenly I was. So there's no point swearing to anything in my opinion. You never know who you'll who you'll become.

What are the main arguments for and against staying friends with an ex?

Greta 3:36

But we um we're now sort of friends, if you will. We definitely get on, but we're not about to catch up for a long lunch and a bottle of champagne. It's not quite that amicable.

James Finlay 3:47

So if you had one uh tip for people who want to be friends with their exes, uh what would it be?

Greta 3:54

Give it time and listen. And read the social cues. If they're not keen, Just step away, but always try to be friendly. The hookup. Love and on Triple J

Sarah McVee 4:11

With me in the studio is Anne Hunter, relationships coach, and thanks so much for joining us on the hookup.

Anne Hunter 4:17

It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.

Sarah McVee 4:19

Is it ever really friendship after you've been

Anne Hunter 4:21

together? Oh yes, definitely it can be. Definitely. I know um quite a lot of people who have maintained really good close I have myself, really good close intimate relationships.