Dating in 2020: What needs to change?
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Why do listeners feel “over it” with dating in 2020?
Hey, Nat Tancic here, and we thought we'd finish up this crazy year by reflecting on our dating culture and how you feel about it. Cause a lot of you are feeling pretty over it right now. We got so many responses on our Instagram, Triple J the Hookup, when we asked you how you felt. Liz said, I think communication is lost in society, these apps provide Provide walls that people hide behind and nothing feels real anymore and twenty twenty is a mess. Georgia says dating apps have made me feel so burnt out and not meeting people organically when out. And Dan said people need to ghost less and communicate more. I mean, I know this whole pandemic business has made it pretty difficult, but even before that, it felt like people were pretty done with dating.
So if dating is so broken, how do we fix it? What needs to change? I got together a paddle of some of the hookup's faves to nut it out, including dating coach Sharam Nemdaryan, Alita Bryden from the Facebook and Instagram account Bad Dates of Melbourne, and certified sex coach Georgia Grace. I'm gonna start with you, Sharam. How do you feel about dating in twenty twenty?
Gotta be honest with you, people were saying the same thing before twenty twenty.
Mm-hmm. As in
I mean this in the most utmost respect. I know this year has been really tough. But as someone who looks at this very professionally, it's the same thing, same thing, same thing. What people want is they want someone to communicate in the same way that they will. What people get is often not that. And dating is often A bad Sometimes what like you g you have bad dates. Do you wanna
say
shit? You can say
shit.
Yeah, I can say shit it can shit. It's a goddamn shit show sometimes. Yep, a hundred percent. What I find is fighting that makes the experience so much worse, if that makes sense. And it's much more amplified now. It's about lockdown and stuff like that, where The only thing you have is the shit show, is the apps and stuff like that. So yeah, there's so much I can talk about it, but yeah, that's my general experience. It's like it's the same thing as last yeah, the year before.
Yeah, on crack pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Um Alita, you chronicle people's bad dating experiences on bad dates of Melbourne. What are some of the common threads of of bad dates that you see?
Look, uh there are a variety of bad dates. There are some things that always seem to come up. Some of them are quite comical, like a lot of people seem to shit their pants on a date. Don't ask me why, but that happens a fair bit. Uh people forget their wallets a fair bit and there's a lot of cheating going on. Uh that being said, uh, right now in twenty twenty, it's a tough time for dating because dates aren't really happening. People make connections and they don't go anywhere. So I mean, this is the hardest year for dating, I think.
How does dating coach Sharam describe the state of dating this year?
any of us have experienced in our lifetimes and you know, it's really hard.
Well, absolutely. And, you know, even as we heard from Anna from Sydney, people just kind of like dropping like flies at the very last minute, which I suppose as you shed said, Charms, stuff that like people, I guess, have always been doing, but maybe twenty twenty is making it worse. Um, Georgia, I wanna bring you into the conversation because We're also hearing a lot about ghosting. Uh Zoe from Melbourne on the text line says a guilty ghost are here. I always feel good about myself and the situation when I actually communicate I'm not into it, but sometimes I have no explanation and I'm not sure and don't want to waste any of my energy in explaining this to the person that the vibe was off. Um I I do wanna ask, like, f I mean first of all, do you think that's fair from Zoe?
Well, I mean, fair I guess we we need to look at it from all the perspectives. So no doubt the person who Zoe ghosted probably wasn't that keen on the fact that they were ghosted. I think that it gives us a wonderful insight into human beings and the way that we justify or the way that we make sense of the things that we do or the way that we treat people.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do listeners feel “over it” with dating in 2020?
0:00–2:55
2
How does dating coach Sharam describe the state of dating this year?
2:55–7:08
3
What common patterns does Alita identify in bad dates on Bad Dates of Melbourne?
7:08–9:46
4
Why is ghosting such a prevalent problem and how can we communicate better?
9:46–12:46
5
Can dating apps still be positive and what’s Felicity’s experience abroad?
12:46–15:52
6
What changes do panelists suggest for dating culture post‑pandemic?
15:52–18:19
7
How can we create positive momentum and shift from anxiety to excitement?
18:19–22:53
8
What are the final take‑aways on respect, expectations, and future episodes?
22:53–25:54