Do you have a 'type'?
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What does it mean to have a ‘type’ in dating and why do we notice familiar traits?
The people on Tinder and Grinder that you're finding attractive may look like mum and dad. No Yes, I'm sorry to say Why? Again, this is kind of an off the cuff answer, but I suspect there's something there about familiarity to start with, but there's also the often the unfinished work that isn't done, and if I can't do it with dad because I'm not five or six or seven years of age, I'll I'll do it with someone who might resemble my father or resemble my mother, even physically. До гука
Love and honey on. On Triple J.
Warning. Sex and adult themes. I'll be honest. Do you have a type? Whether it's a kind of personality, a body type, or even a hair colour. We'll be talking to a psychologist about what the reasons behind these kinds of dating patterns might be. And a warning, you may never see your parents in quite the same way. I hit the streets to find out what you're into.
You think you have a type? Oh tall, dark, and handsome. Intelligent, with a good sense of humour. Is somebody who's a bit taller than me? Yeah, probably. But I'll always say yes to a coffee, like doesn't really matter who it is, just one coffee. For anyone. Yeah, pretty much anyone. Yeah. Could be, you know, a famous serial killer, still go for a coffee. 100%. I think attraction's a very subjective thing and it's very hard to define exactly what you like and what you don't like. Humour, sense of humour, and somebody who's fun. That's what really counted. Does that make you feel good? You're not shallow? Yeah, that's right. I'm deep and meaningful. I mean I'm Caucasian and I've dated a couple of Asians. I don't want to go into a situation looking for a type, but I think it's more if that person suits me.
I wouldn't say the people I've dated have necessarily been conventionally good looking. Do you think you would judge someone if they dated lots of people who all look the same? No, but it's pretty funny when they do. It's embarrassing. It's not, it doesn't look great. Different nationalities, um, different heights, but I do have like a type in the back of my mind. I'm like skinny boys, which is unusual. There's something about it. I don't know if it's Freudian or whatever, my mum's heap skinny and energetic and enthusiastic. I don't know, just like the torso of a lean fella.
The hookup with Hannah Riley on Triple J. We're talking about types tonight, and to help me dissect it is Dr. Stephen Andrew. He's a senior lecturer at the Cannmeller Institute in Melbourne. Stephen, thanks so much for being with us.
You're welcome, Hannah. Hi.
So what kind of research has been done on types and our kind of pairing preferences when it comes to sexual attraction?
There has been lots and lots of research done on this and unfortunately after all of that research the answers are still unclear and cloudy because I think the whole situation is extremely complex. It draws on individual social and cultural influences and family of origin material and you put all of that in the pot and stir it around, you're not going to get anything clean coming out of it.
So what have the more recent studies s been suggesting? Is it leaning towards any particular reason, like childhood influences or genetics, or people who are like our family?
What the general trend is, um, is around what we call positive assorted mating, which is a fancy way of saying that like attracts like. Now there's a thousand caveats I want to throw after that statement, but That's a general trend and I could hear some of that in the vox pops that uh you were playing just then, the sense of, yeah, I do have a pattern, not quite sure
How does childhood familiarity with parents influence our partner preferences?
what it is or how it happens, but even against my better judgment, I stay in that pattern. So it can be fairly strong.
And do you think having a type is a bad thing potentially?
Um If it makes you unhappy, yes, it's a bad thing. Um having a type that provides you with what you're looking for is fantastic. So it's not necessarily a bad thing.
I mean I guess it does kind of cut you off from, you know, ninety percent of the rest of the other people that you could potentially date be dating if you are kind of consciously going over like o for one type of person.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does it mean to have a ‘type’ in dating and why do we notice familiar traits?
0:00–3:36
2
How does childhood familiarity with parents influence our partner preferences?
3:36–9:01
3
What does research say about ‘positive assortative mating’ and choosing similar partners?
9:01–14:14
4
Why do some people repeatedly date partners who need ‘rescuing’ and how can therapy help?
14:14–18:21
5
How do attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant) shape our dating patterns?
18:21–22:45
6
What role do race‑based preferences like ‘yellow fever’ play in modern online dating?
22:45–27:01
7
Why do long‑term couples start to look alike and what does that say about attraction?
27:01–31:27
8
Is it better to date someone who’s different (the ‘striker’) rather than a perfect match?
31:27–34:03