Does height really matter?
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Why do many people care about height when dating?
This is an ABC Podcast. Tell me, tell me. They're hot, they're tall, 66 foot, that's what I'm for. Chris told
me.
Do you go that mad for a tall hottie? Or do you put your height in your dating profile? Because apparently that matters. Whether we like it or not, height looms large for some people when scoping a potential match. And that pressure we put on height can make us feel unwanted or insecure if we don't meet the standard. So how can you rise above it? So to speak. I'm Matt Tencich and on this episode you'll learn all about hype preferences, why it's prevalent in but not exclusive to straight dating, what those preferences can do to our self-esteem, and why it might be a good idea to look past hype and try to see eye to eye. So do you care about height when it comes to dating? It's a sticking point for a large minority of hookup listeners.
We asked our followers on Instagram at Triple J thehook, and 38% of respondents say they care a lot about their date's height. And the reasons they gave are actually really diverse.
I dated a guy who was about five foot four, five foot five and I didn't mind at first but after a while I started to get the ick pretty quickly. Um I felt bad about it but Can't help how I feel. For me I tend to think that height is associated with dominance. So the taller the guy, the more dominant they're gonna be. And I know that's obviously not always the case, but that's just the vibe that I get. I'm five foot nine. It doesn't matter to me if a guy I'm dating is shorter than me unless he has an inferiority complex about it. If it matters to him, he usually finds all sorts of annoying or downright unpleasant ways to make it matter to me too. I ended up deciding to steer clear of guys who were shorter than me on dating apps.
It felt disappointing to narrow the field for such a shallow reason, but it seemed better than risking dating more guys who might try to put me down in order to boost their fragile egos. So I'm like right in the middle of five eleven and six foot. And yeah, I suppose when I'm like on the apps it's not the only thing I look for. That'd be terrible.
How does societal pressure make height feel like a deal‑breaker?
But if I see someone who is I reckon about five three or less, I I love it, it's the best thing ever. But yeah, if I see someone who's like Five ten and Even if everything else about them is attractive and like whatever, um I'm yeah, just not about it. I'm a queer woman and then I love a tall girl. Just gimme, gimme, gimme a woman with
height. It's clear that for straight couples, the guy being taller than the girl is the expected norm. But why? Sexologist Cam Fraser specializes in issues of masculinity and breaking down expectations that keep men boxed in. He says we don't see many examples of the inverse.
There's a not a lot of examples in prevalent kind of media where there's a heterosexual couple with a a woman who's taller than the the man in that relationship. And that's I think that that's a big part of it. And that plays into a a lot of guys' insecurities, particularly when it comes to masculinity, right? It's like this idea that bigger is better and with regards to penis size, but it also is regards to height and muscle and stature and things like that. this as well. And so when it comes to men's idea of what it means to be a man, a lot of that is wrapped up in like, oh, I've got to be tall. I've got to be kind of big. I've got to be this this bigger guy. Why? And so that is perpetuated in a lot of media as well.
We see that kind of really reinforced in a lot of media. So I think that's that's a big part of it.
And not just like from the perspective of men feeling that insecurity, but the perspective of women feeling that attraction, you know, straight wom straight women again, you know. So that is also clearly influencing not just what dudes feel like they should be, but what women feel like they should want.
Yes, totally, totally. Right. This is like what's propped up on a pedestal as uh what is deemed attractive in society as as a man or as someone who's who's masculine, I suppose. So yeah, it's not only what a lot of men feel like they need to live up to, but what a lot of women feel like they should be attracted to.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do many people care about height when dating?
0:02–2:26
2
How does societal pressure make height feel like a deal‑breaker?
2:26–4:42
3
What do straight men and women say about height preferences?
4:42–6:40
4
Why do tall women and short men experience different insecurities?
6:40–8:37
5
How does media reinforce the ‘taller man = better’ norm?
8:37–11:29
6
What strategies can help you overcome height‑related rejection?
11:29–13:19
7
How can you own your height and avoid self‑defeating mindsets?
13:19–15:30
8
What real‑life stories show that height isn’t the most important factor?
15:30–17:42