How an abortion can impact your relationship
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What challenges do couples face when deciding on an abortion?
The partners just don't know. No matter how present and supportive they are, once you go through the doors at the clinic to go and get it done, they don't know what goes on.
Warning. Adult content. The hookup.
Love and on Triple J. For many people, having an abortion is not an easy thing to go through. Even though it's decriminalized around Australia, the stigma around terminating pregnancy is still very real. And going through it can be tough for many uterus owners, especially when you don't fit the typical picture of an abortion case. Hey, I'm Nat Tencich, and you're about to hear from one listener who got in touch with the hookup because she's had multiple abortions. Yeah. While she doesn't regret either decision, she's still going through a lot emotionally. But her partner doesn't understand why. She wanted help getting him to see things from her perspective.
Hi, my name's Jane and I'm from Sydney and I got in touch with the hookup because I've been through two terminations in the last two years with my long term partner and it's just something that I don't hear too many people talking about. So I was twenty one and I had just gotten back from a long holiday overseas. and my partner and I were missing each other I guess and weren't as smart as we usually are. And I fell pregnant. Um I noticed within four weeks that I was pregnant. I just could feel all the changes in my body. And I've been someone from a very young age who's always wanted children and I've been very excited to have children. Um however My age and being unmarried and not being financially ready kind of put a lot of strain on whether or not to keep the pregnancy.
Eventually we kind of decided when I was around eight weeks that we would get a termination. Um and we both agreed on that. That was like a unanimous decision. So we went to the a clinic. It was pretty daunting. You go in there and you kind of know that you're gonna be coming out different. And then I was pretty sick for the rest of the day. We ended up just, you know, cuddling in bed and crying a little bit and Talking about why we'd made the right decision and how we wouldn't make this decision again, how we wouldn't have to make this decision again. That was my first termination. But you did have to make this decision again. Yeah. Unfortunately, yes. It was more of the same. I have lots of family overseas, so I went to go overseas again.
So then when I came back We had a similar experience. Basically I'm clearly a fertile myrtle because I fell pregnant straight away. And this time there was a lot of hesitation to go through with it again. because I felt like I'd almost been punished in a way for getting rid of the last one. And then on a like personal level, I'd never once thought that I would be someone that would have to have an abortion, you know.
How does Jane’s personal story illustrate the emotional impact of multiple abortions?
I've always been really open to it. I've always been a very vocal supporter of it. But I've always said to myself, you know, you won't be in that position. So that was kind of a slap in the face to myself, I guess, 'cause I was like, Well not only are you in this position, but you're in it again. My partner and I we had a um I guess it was a a falling out over this pregnancy because I obviously felt like I wanted to keep it. And he was on the same page that he was before, that we're not ready, we have no means to support a child and definitely no means to bring up a child. So in the end I guess I saw logic more than anything and we had to go get a the procedure again. It was more of the same, but I think in a way m more emotional than the first.
The first was almost clinical because I was like, okay, like you can't do this, you have to get rid of it. Whereas this one I was still on the fence, I guess a little bit inside. He's uh he's my soulmate. He's he's the the the one. But I feel like when you're in a long term relationship, especially if you see with your partner that you want one day marriage or you want one day children or y you see that future, it's like your, I don't know, tempting fate, I guess. You're just getting rid of something that is eventually your goal in life.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What challenges do couples face when deciding on an abortion?
0:01–3:17
2
How does Jane’s personal story illustrate the emotional impact of multiple abortions?
3:17–7:09
3
Why can partners feel “out of the loop” after a termination procedure?
7:09–10:58
4
What pressure and potential coercion can arise between partners during the decision‑making process?
10:58–14:27
5
How does stigma—social, religious and cultural—affect people who have abortions?
14:27–18:12
6
What role should the partner play in counseling and support after an abortion?
18:12–22:02
7
Does having an abortion affect future fertility and what does medical evidence say?
22:02–25:42
8
How can individuals and policymakers work to normalise abortion and reduce stigma?
25:42–27:53