How to have the condom convo
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Why do many people feel awkward talking about condoms?
This is an ABC podcast. Could I get a prophylactic? A prophylactic.
Be honest with me. There's no one around. It's just us. Are you using condoms like when you need them? With new partners? Casual partners? Every time? Apparently, one in four people aren't. And that's a problem. I'm Nat Tanchich, and I know, I know, lots of people struggle with condoms. I'm sure you've heard every excuse, and not just from wearers either. They don't feel as good. They kill the mood. We don't really need them. I'm too big. Yeah, sure, mate. But love them or hate them, condoms are not only one of the most effective contraception methods we have, being 98% effective if you use them right, but they're the only way of stopping the spread of STIs during penetrative sex. Oral, anal, vaginal. All the good stuff.
So on this episode, how to stop bitching and learn to love the condom, how to negotiate your own boundaries on condom use and a clap back for every excuse. So like I said, condoms aren't the most popular guy at the party right now. And while they're sort of the best we have, there are plenty of people foregoing safe sex. Recent research from UNSW found that most young people, 69%, didn't use a condom when having sex with regular partners. And 24% didn't use condoms with casual partners. And that's with STIs like gonorrhea and syphilis on the rise among people under 24. In fact, I think those two things might be related. So I wanted to know what's going on here.
What do the latest statistics reveal about condom use with regular vs. casual partners?
Hookup listeners said they'd had various experiences with condoms and have heard every excuse in the book.
I think the use of condoms when having casual sex is a bit of a no-brainer. Obviously, I think we can all admit that it feels better without one for both men and women. But the fact that it does prevent most STIs and unwanted pregnancy, I think makes it definitely worth using one.
I always had the intention of using a condom, but sometimes when you're in the moment or maybe you've had a few drinks and it's happening and the person you're with doesn't get one, it can be kind of awkward to bring it up. So sometimes I just won't bring it up at all, even though maybe that's not really what I wanted in the first place.
My ex didn't like condoms because she said she didn't like the feel and thought because I was a guy I would be keen to not wear them which isn't the case. She also insisted that because she had the implant that we should both get STI checks so we didn't have to use a condom. In the past with partners that I've seen more regularly we've kind of made a deal that once we've both had an STI test and I'm on another form of contraception that we're happy to mutually decide to not use one and then I guess the basis of that is that if either of us were to have sex with someone else to use a condom with that person or if you didn't for whatever reason to at least be honest and you know tell each other so that that person can go get an SCI screening or whatever it may be just to make sure that you're both being safe.
out that you're allergic to latex it's not so much fun however having guys find out that you've got that allergy and then thinking that just means they don't even need to ask the condom question not cool little do most people realize that a brand that many of us actually have sitting in our drawers is in fact not latex and the possibility that someone is allergic to those ones and the latex ones is pretty unlikely it doesn't stop all the same excuses though That's not to say that from my own perspective, I haven't just given in because sometimes when a guy really, really persists that much, you just give in. When I was dating, I did come across a lot of dudes who didn't want to wear condoms because they ruined the spontaneity.
And I would argue, you know, getting pregnant to someone you just met also ruins a lot of things for someone. At first, I think I did find it pretty upsetting because, you know, everyone likes getting laid. But then someone explained to me that if you're with someone and they don't want to wear a condom, it's a pretty good filter because even though you don't have to love the person you're having sex with, I do think that you need trust.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
Why do many people feel awkward talking about condoms?
0:02–2:08
2
What do the latest statistics reveal about condom use with regular vs. casual partners?
2:08–11:06
3
How can you choose the right condom size when you think you’re “too big”?
11:06–18:52
4
Do condoms really reduce sensation and how can you boost pleasure?
18:52–24:01