How to navigate mental health in relationships and dating
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How did the pandemic affect mental health and relationships in 2020?
I know it's probably an understatement, but it's been a really rough year. Everybody's mental health has taken a toll in 2020. Being separated from people you love, losing sight of the future and grieving plans that we all once had, it's had an impact on all of us. So how do you manage that in a relationship? Who takes responsibility for mental health? And at what point does leaning on your partner for support turn into crushing them? Nat Tencic with you. And in this episode, we decided to get a panel together to answer any and all of your questions around mental health and love. But first, I want to share with you Meg's story. After struggling with an eating disorder, anxiety and depression since her teens, she turned a difficult dating life around when she found the right relationship with a healthy balance.
Here's how she did it.
Probably about eight years ago, I was in high school and as you know, pressures of Everything that high school brings is school and performance and everything like that. I found myself in a very dark hole and got diagnosed with anorexia at 16, which was a really hard blow and meant that there was no school for me. It also subsequently dealt me a blow of depression and anxiety and that riddled me for the rest of my teenage years and early into my 20s, which made everything from socialising to school to just being human very, very hard to do, including relationships. Growing up, I always chose my eating disorder and my mental illness over the possibility of having a relationship or seeing friends or anything like that.
And it's only within the past about eight months that I've really tried to flip the tables on that and get out in the game and make socialising and seeing people a priority. My mental illness meant that accepting love and being worthy of love was something that I really struggled with. So I was uncomfortable with pretty much anything. You want to hold my hand? I'd freak. You want a hug? Let alone kissing or anything to do with sex. That was terrifying. And it wasn't until I met someone quite special a few months ago, about six months ago, that has had the patience and has had the understanding to sort of go through that with me.
Tell me about that. Who's this
special person? So I met him on Good Old Bumble. Loved the use of the auto-extend and we met up for coffee and there was just something about him that made me feel safe and made me be okay with being vulnerable and being open and honest. I'm open and honest about my mental illness to a lot of people.
What lessons did Meg learn from her eating‑disorder journey to build a healthy dating life?
But when it comes to someone that can love you in that way, I think it's a very special and intimate thing that you have to share with them on an emotional level. So he's been my first, first for pretty much everything. And that has a connection in its own wee way. But he's really made me challenge some of those things that my illness had me hold on to like like being able to go out and have drinks stay up late at night um go out for meals talk about really sensitive issues not with a therapist um yeah it's it's been a revolutionary six months
Now that you're in a relationship, how are you managing your mental health with him and his, you know, because now you have to consider two people. So how are you managing that within the relationship?
I think it's a big thing about being open and honest and clearly communicating what's going on for you because no one is going to understand what's going on in your head. Um, especially with things like mental illness, sometimes, or a lot of the time it can be quite illogical and irrational. So it's just being able to clearly express like, Hey, look, I'm having a really, really bad day. And I know we had the state planned, or I know we were going to see each other, but I know that if I turn up, I'm just going to be a raging, raging bitch to you or an anxious mess. And it's just not going to be worth it. Um, and it's just getting on that same page of it. It isn't you and. It is me and not saying that in the most cliche of ways.
Yeah. And just making time for yourself and making sure that you still have time to do the things you love.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How did the pandemic affect mental health and relationships in 2020?
0:00–2:57
2
What lessons did Meg learn from her eating‑disorder journey to build a healthy dating life?
2:57–6:22
3
How can partners communicate mental‑health needs without overwhelming each other?
6:22–9:19
4
What strategies did Dr. Jared White recommend for bringing up mental health on a first date?
9:19–12:31
5
How does Hannah’s experience with disclosing bipolar illustrate the risks and benefits of early honesty?
12:31–14:56
6
What are the signs that a relationship is becoming a codependent caretaker dynamic?
14:56–19:46
7
How can couples set healthy boundaries and share self‑care responsibilities?
19:46–24:08
8
What practical tips did the panel give for supporting a partner while protecting your own mental wellbeing?
24:08–27:12