Is age just a number? Age gaps when dating
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What is the overall premise of the episode and why does it matter?
When I when I came out I I had to sort of come out twice, um in the sense of it whereas I had to then come out and say, Well look, I'm gay but then on top of that it's hey, I like really old guys or older guys. Um and yeah, some people were kinda like, Oh well, you know Fair enough, and others didn't really understand.
The hookup Love and
honey eye
on Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Thames. Aside from the obvious legal limits, we'll be looking at whether when it comes to dating, if age is really just a number. We'll be talking to a 25-year-old guy whose much older partner's friends assumed he was an escort, and a self-proclaimed MILF on why she prefers younger guys. But first I hit the streets to find out what you think.
I'm 24 and I'm finding it very hard to keep a boyfriend at 24 that I'm not like, you need to grow the f ⁇ k up. I think if it's like above 25 and then there's a bit of a gap, I think that's cool. I think at 25 you kind of really grow up. Often females go for older guys because we're just more mature. I've told a few friends to who are in their 20s to just not date guys in their 20s. Would you like a right of reply as a as a guy in his 20s? Probably say that's pretty unfair on younger guys, for sure.
What do you think would be your limit in dating someone age-wise? Like 10
years, 20 years? More than 10 years is a bit crazy. My dad's wife is 21 years younger than my dad. Younger, like a year. Like that's pushing it. Older Ten years? Five years maximum. Just younger.
So you wouldn't ever date someone that's older than you?
No, I don't think so.
Can I ask why?
I don't know, I just think that girls are smarter than guys maybe. I like to be the smarter person in a relationship. The hookup on Triple J with Hannah Riley.
And I'm joined by Tom. He's twenty five and has always dated older men. And his last partner, who passed away last year, was thirty years older than than him. Tom, thanks so much for joining us. So what appeals to you about dating older guys?
Um It's always been something that I just sort of fell into. I mean, I never really connected with uh with gay men my own age. I mean, I just I never found
How do everyday people feel about dating someone much older or younger?
Uh I never found a way to connect with them. So I found myself being more comfortable um and experiencing much better times with with older guys.
Have you ever dated guys your own age?
No. Um, I think the youngest I've been around was probably thirty five and I was eighteen at the time.
So what were your friends' reactions when they saw that you were dating a guy that was thirty years older than you?
I it was varied, actually, to be honest with you. Um when I when I when I came out I I had to sort of come out twice, um, in the sense of it whereas I had to then come out and say, Well look, I'm gay but then on top of that it's hey, I like really old guys or older guys. Um and yeah, some people were kinda like, Oh well, you know Fair enough, and others didn't really understand.
What were the kind of questions that you get from people who might not be so understanding?
Why? That was that was the biggest question. Uh and I still face that sometimes. Um they ask me, yeah, I I don't see the appeal. What's what's the point? Like why? Why why why are you putting so much effort into a relationship that you could have last a whole lot longer with someone your own age? And I think, well It's you know, it is what it is. You know, you're gonna spend a quality amount of time with someone. Doesn't matter what their age is.
The longevity question is an interesting one. I was it's sad to hear that your last partner passed away and he was thirty years older than you. Is that something that concerns you maybe with with you know dating an older age bracket of guys?
Uh originally no. Uh it didn't really come into my head all that quickly. Um but obviously having gone through the experience myself now, yeah it does. That being said, fifty five is still quite young to pass.
Yeah.
Um, you know, but Cancer doesn't discriminate, so
And so with the thirty year age gap between you and this partner, we were we were talking on the phone just a little earlier about like cultural references that were missed or lost.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the overall premise of the episode and why does it matter?
0:01–2:38
2
How do everyday people feel about dating someone much older or younger?
2:38–4:56
3
What assumptions did Tom’s friends make about his 30‑year age gap relationship?
4:56–7:24
4
How does psychologist Elisabeth Shaw define when age gaps become a problem?
7:24–11:15
5
Why does self‑proclaimed “MILF” Dolores prefer younger men and what does she say about maturity?
11:15–14:29
6
What red‑flags signal a power‑imbalance or potential abuse in large age‑gap relationships?
14:29–17:39
7
How can couples with big age differences keep their relationship healthy as life stages change?
17:39–21:55
8
What final takeaways and listener calls‑to‑action wrap up the discussion on age gaps?
21:55–25:07