Is camming cheating?
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What makes camming feel like cheating in a shared household?
So if you're sitting at home and you're camming and you may be doing that in the house that you share with someone, there are certain elements that kick in here. So if you're doing this in the house and your partner's in the house, how might that make your partner feel if they found that out? Or are you taking away time from your relationship that you would be spending with one another? That's an important consideration as well.
Mm-hmm.
Say
you're in a relationship and you've been watching cam girls stripping or wanking on chat roulette and your partner doesn't know about it. Do you feel guilty not telling your partner? Does it count as cheating? I'm Nat Tenchich, and soon you'll hear from a sex and relationship therapist on how you can avoid disappointing your partner when experimenting with your sexuality. But first, here's an email we received from Ali on the topic. She said, It's amazing how much more courage you get when you're behind a computer. It's almost like the inner curiosity can explore without judgment and it's totally anonymous. My husband ended up finding out and was horrified. We've since got past it and it's not something I do anymore.
However, I wondered if anyone else has experienced the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's a click of a button and whoever is online at the time. Is this okay? The more I think about it, the more I think it can be a healthy part of discovering one's sexuality. I think that if it's not hurting anyone, more people should be exploring this way. However, not sure what others think. And to get a bit more of an expert opinion on this one, we're joined by sex and relationships therapist, Lisa Tawney. Lisa, welcome to The Hookup. Thanks, Nat. Pleasure to be here. So listening to Ali's story, you know, she's been chatting with people on these kind of interactive porn websites and is wondering, is it infidelity? Well, what do you think about that?
The short answer is it depends. Mm-hmm. Because people define infidelity in different ways. And what we're seeing now with... the popularity of the internet and cyber sex and chat rooms is the definition of infidelity is changing as well. So we're including terms like emotional infidelity. So I think back in the day, you'd be thinking Exchanging bodily fluids with someone would classify as infidelity. But research has shown that people can feel as deeply hurt by a partner exploring online without them knowing about it.
How does Ali’s story illustrate the emotional impact of hidden cam use?
So do you think Ali's husband had a right to be angry with her?
Well, he felt that way, so that's his right, absolutely, to feel that way. She says he was horrified, and I guess we don't know what that might be about. There could be a number of aspects around that. And it also said that he found out, so we're not sure whether that was accidental as well. which can be quite traumatic for people if they find out that their partner has been doing something they don't know about and they've discovered it accidentally by seeing it on their web browser, for example, or an email pops up on a shared email. And, you know, some people have spoken about the deep hurt that they have felt at being lied to.
well i mean ali seems to not think that what she's done is cheating but she does see it as deceitful
yeah
is there a difference
in your view look it's interesting because if you look up the definition uh of cheat and deceit they are pretty much one in the same so um And I was really interested when I read that to hear that she did feel deceitful because what you're doing is you're keeping intimate secret from your primary romantic partner when you hide this information. So I'm impressed that they've worked through it too. That's what she said, that they've worked through these issues and And I'd be interested to know how they did that, actually.
Yeah, I mean, I would be as well. I guess they're having a bit of a conversation about it. It's The Hookup on Triple J. I'm Nat Tenchich. I'm here with sex and relationships therapist Lisa Torney. And we're talking about whether camming is cheating or I suppose the thing with camming is, like as opposed to other sorts of forms of mental cheating that we'll get into in a little bit.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What makes camming feel like cheating in a shared household?
0:00–3:41
2
How does Ali’s story illustrate the emotional impact of hidden cam use?
3:41–7:29
3
When does online sexual activity become infidelity according to therapists?
7:29–10:32
4
Why did Emily’s partner react so strongly to the lap‑dance incident?
10:32–13:29
5
How can couples set clear boundaries around camming and porn?
13:29–16:38
6
What role does insecurity play when a partner discovers a sex toy?
16:38–20:26
7
Is fantasising about others considered cheating in a committed relationship?
20:26–23:52
8
What practical steps can partners take to communicate about sexual exploration?
23:52–26:58