Relationship dealbreakers
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What are relationship deal‑breakers and why are they important?
If you don't have deal breakers you can get stuck in relationships because you're not sure if they're good enough or not good enough. So really what the the thing that you need to get clear about is whether something actually is a deal breaker or not. So if you've really got a thing about Marilyn Munro or tacky posters, then maybe there's absolutely no way that you can be with that woman. But generally if something comes up that makes you go, Oh, oh, actually I'm not sure about this, you need to talk to the person. The hookup
Love and
honey on.
On Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Themes.
What are your relationship deal breakers? Things about the other person that make you throw up your hands and say, Nope, no, thank you very much. I'm out. Maybe if they're shallow, a smoker, talks to you like a baby. What's the line between knowing what you want and having high standards and being a bit of a judgmental piece of work? Psychosexual therapist Jacqueline Hellier will decipher this for us. As for deal breakers themselves, comedian Eddie Sharp certainly has a few of them.
I uh once broke up with a girl, um her name was either Isabella or Sophia, I can't remember, who said that um I broke up with her 'cause she preferred the American office to the UK office.
Well, the American office is better, so
I hadn't seen it at the time. And I've gone back and w I've watched both now and I think they're uh equally as good. The American one might be slightly better, and I'm very sorry. Um but I didn't You blew it. I don't tell them that. That th there's just that moment when you break. Like uh another time a girl um Bro uh drop by my house. We'd just been dating and she was going for a jog and she dropped by my house mid jog to say hi. And it wasn't that she was like jogging and like sweaty and stuff, it was the the drop in and like the over it's too intimate. It's too intimate. Eddie, are you gonna die alone? No, I'm alright, I worked it out. Uh if you go home with someone and uh a a girl has a frame picture of Marilyn Monroe in her bedroom, huge deal breaker for me.
That's a huge one.
Uh
God, I could keep going.
Do you think people of our generation are more more fussy when it comes to dating? 'Cause I've heard that thrown around before. What do you think?
Uh, I don't know. I think often when you're fussy, it's I went through a period of being extremely fussy and I think that was just because I didn't really want to date anyone. And I I I think sometimes, you know, say if you've been going through a particular dry spell You'll you'll you'll be like, cool, whatever. Like, you know, whatever you want to do.
How do we tell if a preference is a real deal‑breaker or just a personal quirk?
Face, tat, I'm into it. Um another one for me is when someone describes themselves as having the feels instead of having feelings. Ah, that's an interesting one. I my
my version of that is cool beans.
Oh I said cool beans all the time. Gives me the chills. We would never we would never make it.
Mark from Tasmania says once had a girl tell me that her dog would be the best man at our wedding. Needless to say, things did not work out well after that. Um, Mark from Tasmania, uh l give us the name of your girlfriend so I can date her. She sounds really cool. Yeah,
I'd be into that. With like with a little jacket
with a ring on top of it. Oh, but that's adorable. That's the best possible best man. So What have been like the changes in your deal breakers? Have you kind of gotten over those shallow ones that you had before? Um
I don't know. I mean they're all very shallow in a way. Like that's the problem is I don't have big deal breakers. Like I I recently I mean, a year ago I was dating a girl who I really liked and she wouldn't stop dating other people without without me wanting her to. And I was like, I guess that's cool. But then I went on a date with a girl who I really liked and she wouldn't stop talking about how she went backstage and met Will I Am and I was like, get out of here. Run away. 'Cause
there are some some good deal breakers that we should all kind of things that kind of maybe should be non negotiable for you in a relationship, uh like racism or homophobia or, you know, being a bit of a sex pass.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are relationship deal‑breakers and why are they important?
0:00–2:46
2
How do we tell if a preference is a real deal‑breaker or just a personal quirk?
2:46–4:59
3
Which funny (and serious) deal‑breakers did Eddie Sharp share?
4:59–6:51
4
Are millennials actually fussy about dating, and why might that be?
6:51–8:27
5
What non‑negotiable values (e.g., racism, homophobia) should never be ignored?
8:27–10:47
6
Should we write down our deal‑breakers before dating, and how can they change over time?
10:47–13:06
7
When does a high standard become judgmental, and how can we find the balance?
13:06–15:19
8
How do deal‑breakers like wanting (or not wanting) kids affect long‑term compatibility?
15:19–17:14