The millennial sex drought
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Why are millennials experiencing a “sex drought” compared to older generations?
I had a two year relationship with somebody and we didn't have sex. We both kind of work. Settled and comfortable like an old married couple. some people they've made me feel like That's crazy. That's something that I need to go to a doctor or a psychologist or something about.
The hookup with Hannah Riley. Love and on Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Thames. Are you not having sex at the moment? With sex everywhere that you turn, it can sometimes make you feel like there's something wrong with you if you're not getting it in absolutely every direction. A study came out of the US this week that suggested that there's a larger percentage of millennials that are not having sex than there were in our parents' generation. The reasons the study listed ranged from access to porn, living with our parents longer, to our standards being unreasonably high because of dating apps. So we at the hookup wanted to know, is this the case here in Australia? And what are the reasons some of us aren't having sex? Coming up, I'll be joined by sex therapist Alinda Small, talking about why it's okay to tap out from time to time.
Time to time. Earlier, I spoke to a lovely man called Andy and we talked about the sexual dry spell that he's going through at the moment and some of the pressures he feels as a queer guy to be a bit more promiscuous.
Lady of the house speaking. I went through a like a crazy sex phase last year. Uh for like a year. And then I was just like, uh This is gross. And then as soon as I was like that It just I just don't have sex. You hear so many like sex stories and it seems like we're the generation that lets it all hang out. Everyone's just like having sex on the reg.
What does the recent US study reveal about millennial sexual activity and its causes?
A a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend recently and she was like, I'm just so horny, I just wanna like go out and sleep with every guy and it'd been like two weeks and she was like, Two weeks without sex and I was like Oh my god. Six months. And I think particularly like I'm gay or like I identify as queer, I I prefer queer, but it just seems like the whole culture seems sort of built around promiscuity or something and and I know that that's definitely um a stigma that's put on queer people that everything's about sex and you go to a club and you like absolutely understand why. If I'm not engaging with that Maybe there's something abnormal. I'm pretty busy. I work three jobs. So Like there's one part of me that's like, I want heaps of sex and then the other part of me's like, Oh my god, that is so much effort
I found someone that I really liked, that I really wanted to have sex with and all the time, forever for the rest of my life. And then like thought I was on the right track pursuing them for a little while. And then I was just backing up the wrong tree. Yeah, I'm a bit heartbroken. Yeah. I'm a bit hard broken.
The hookup on Triple J. Now usually here on the hookup we talk about all the different ways and reasons that people are having sex, but tonight is kind of the opposite. We're looking at why millennials specifically might not be having sex, all of the issues that could be affecting our sex lives. And I'm joined by sex therapist Alinda Small. Alinda, there has been a little bit of research, actually quite a bit, that's come out of the US suggesting that are an increasing number of us as in millennials are not having sex in comparison to previous generations. What else do you think might be going on?
Well I think the first thing is to consider that most millennials are staying at home longer than they ever did before.
It's 'cause you guys have bought us out of the market.
But you're studying more, so you're at home longer. So just I I think, you know, access to to that is one thing.
How does living with parents or studying longer affect millennials’ opportunities for sex?
Um and i the people who are having more sex than anyone are people who are in domestic relationships that are living together. And so, you know, i i millennials aren't really living with a partner because they're at home, they're studying and it it's a whole sort of different um setup to what was seen by their parents.
So next time you know, you're having loud sex at your parents' house and they get upset about it, you can tell them it's kind of their fault.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why are millennials experiencing a “sex drought” compared to older generations?
0:01–2:05
2
What does the recent US study reveal about millennial sexual activity and its causes?
2:05–4:07
3
How does living with parents or studying longer affect millennials’ opportunities for sex?
4:07–6:17
4
In what ways do dating apps raise standards and make casual sex harder for millennials?
6:17–8:33
5
How does easy access to porn contribute to reduced sexual interest and performance?
8:33–10:52
6
When is it healthy for someone to take a break from sex, according to therapist Alinda Small?
10:52–12:37
7
What did the Australian high‑school study find about why young people choose not to have intercourse?
12:37–14:22
8
What practical tips does the episode give for navigating a sex‑free period and finding authentic connections?
14:22–16:50