What to do when you can't get it up
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Why do so many young men experience erectile dysfunction?
Guys, I wanna know. Have you ever struggled with getting it up? You know, it's getting steamy and your partner turns around and says, You're ready? And you are, and you're really keen, but for some reason your mate down there is not coming to the party. Nat Sanchich here, and that scenario, my friend, happens way more often than you probably think. You might be feeling really shit about it, feeling alone, thinking there's something wrong with you. And then you end up in that cycle of anxiety and shame and It's kinda like the more you worry about it, the worse it gets. And that's how it works. It's a self defeating prophecy, actually. Or maybe you're on the receiving end. You're the partner and you're thinking the same thing, like
Was there something wrong with me? Do I make him soft? Did I do something wrong? Those are terrible thoughts to feel. What about yourself? Well, guess what? It's really, really common. Like erectile dysfunction, it's not just like your dad's problem. And lately there's even been an increase in young guys dealing with it. In fact, according to data from telehealth process. Provide a pilot, there's an increase of men in their 20s seeking help for erectile dysfunction. Like, yeah, one in three ish. So in this episode, you're gonna hear listeners share their experiences. We'll find out why it happens, what to do about it, and how to be a supportive partner. But first, I want you to meet Paul. He's been sharing his story of ED after dealing with it for years.
It popped up through his teens, and he struggled with it for his whole twenties, always feeling too ashamed to do anything about it. Well recently Paul decided to use that telehealth service I mentioned earlier, which has made a world of difference. He wants to warn anyone feeling the stigma of ED that you're way better off reaching out and getting help. than enduring years of crap sex or no sex at all.
So I first started noticing a problem as soon as I became sexually active. So around fourteen, fifteen. I've always kind of been a naturally anxious and depressed kind of person, so I think my mental health really had a big initial uh starter on on my erectile dysfunction. So when I would try to initiate anything, I would really struggle and get in my head about it. And I just let it continue to become an even bigger problem. And the more I left it, the harder it was to admit to myself that I needed to kind of get my sexual health in check.
What was going through like what would be going through your head, you know, when in the moment when that sort of thing was happening?
How does anxiety and shame create a cycle that worsens ED?
Um, so I would kind of already know that it was a problem. So I would be getting anxious thinking about, you know, like when things would naturally progress and kind of got scared of the idea of sex. So it'd be embarrassment and like shame.
Yeah. What kinds of reactions did you get?
Oh, very mixed. Like for the most part it was pretty positive. It was just awkward and uncomfortable, but generally speaking, people are Pretty nice. But you get the occasional person who just was taken aback, I guess. probably a bit judgmental and and then also their insecurities come into play and they think they're not good enough and
yeah
all that sort of stuff.
Totally. Yeah. I I I feel like that's the energy you get sometimes. Like people like Is it me? But no.
Yeah, yeah. And the more that that energy kind of resonates, the the worse the symptoms are, the the more awkward it is and it just Is a very disastrous effect.
Yeah. W when did you sort of go, Okay, I need to get some help with Lis? Like did did you think that there was anything that could be done?
Not really. Like I think because I was so wrapped in anxiety and everything in my head, the thought of like going to a GP was just not really a thing. So I Left the relationship. And it was kind of that tipping point where I decided to get my mental health in check and, you know, it's like I can't live with this anxiety anymore. So I went and got medication for my anxiety. And as soon as my anxiety was gone, I was like, Oh my God, if it's that easy I should just
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do so many young men experience erectile dysfunction?
0:00–2:48
2
How does anxiety and shame create a cycle that worsens ED?
2:48–4:43
3
What prompted Paul to finally seek professional help for his ED?
4:43–7:25
4
Which mental‑health steps helped Paul break the anxiety‑ED loop?
7:25–10:35
5
How can telehealth services like Pilot make ED treatment easier?
10:35–12:29
6
What practical tips (e.g., cock rings, condom prep) can improve erection maintenance?
12:29–14:58
7
Why is it important for partners to communicate openly about erection issues?
14:58–17:53
8
When should someone see a GP or specialist versus trying DIY solutions?
17:53–21:22