Why we need to talk about miscarriages
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Why is miscarriage such a taboo subject and why should we start talking about it?
Mm. Losing a pregnancy is so, so common, but it's rarely spoken about. Especially if it happens in your teens or early twenties. Now, for people who go through it, you can feel so many things. Guilt, confusion, shame, or even relief. But because we don't talk about it, there's still a lot of misinformation out there. What you're going through can feel really isolating. Nat Tancich here, and for this episode, we're clearing up any misconceptions out there when it comes to miscarriages. And we'll also find out what's happening in your body when you miscarry, why it happens, and how to deal with it. Like I said, there's a lot of confusion when it comes to this. You might not realize what has happened or why.
And it can also be super isolating because no one really wants to talk about it. It's so hush-hush and taboo, and you might not feel like you have anyone to talk to. But you can always talk to us. Leah did just that. She reached out on Instagram because she lost a pregnancy she wasn't planning for. and found it hard to deal with the mixed emotions she was feeling. She wanted to know she wasn't the only one. So here's what happened. And look, just a warning. It gets a little graphic and also a heads up that if this story does bring up any tough feelings for you, we've got some numbers you can reach out to in our show notes.
So I started seeing a guy and it was nothing nothing serious and he told me that um to be on hormonal contraception was something very important for him. So I went down that road and started using the ring, actually, hormonal ring. And it was all well and good and then I s I started getting some bleeding on it actually and got some of the most intense pain that I've ever had in my life, like abdominal cramps and and uterus and I didn't really know what was going on for about a full weekend and I used a menstrual cup and I was emptying it in the shower like normal and There was about the size of my palm. cluster of tissue, I guess, and I looked at it and I could pick it up and hold it and wash it off and it was so different to any normal blood clots that I'd ever experienced and
kind of looked at it and thought, I hope this isn't what I think it is. Like, did I just have a miscarriage? without even knowing that I was pregnant.
First of all, that's like a really intense thing to happen. Did you go to a doctor and and talk about it?
Yeah, I w I went to the doctor and as soon as I explained that tissue that I saw, she said straight away that that was a miscarriage.
How did the miscarriage like feel in your body? Like how did you feel emotionally afterwards? Like tell me about how you were feeling.
Yeah, so there was a few times that I did question whether I was pregnant. Like my boobs were getting bigger and I felt like a bit more like fluidy and I'd done some pregnancy tests and they're all negative. And I was like, no, it's just in your head. Like it must just be going on to contraception. It has these side effects. And I guess the the aftermath was this weird like I want kids one day but I definitely don't want them now and I didn't want them with the person that I was seeing. But there's this whole element of I've failed and I've failed my body's failed and I did this to what could have been a baby and Just I felt a real disconnect from my body, if that makes any sense. Yeah, yeah, it really does.
Did you tell your your partner about it? I did. And I got very a very supportive response at first in that initial phase and then sort of later down the track he kind of thought that I'd made it up and I ended up showing him the photos that I sent to my best friend to sort of have to prove myself. I think he just didn't believe that it had actually happened and kept trying to tell me that it was just blood clots and it's just I've researched just normal and I was like, no, I've you know, I've been having periods for many years and I know that this is not a blood clot.
Yeah. And how did that feel when he didn't trust what you were saying?
It was just disbelief. Like
yeah.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why is miscarriage such a taboo subject and why should we start talking about it?
0:00–5:27
2
What did Leah’s personal miscarriage story reveal about emotions and support?
5:27–9:28
3
How do doctors explain what actually happens in the body during a miscarriage?
9:28–12:52
4
How common are miscarriages and at what stage of pregnancy do they most often occur?
12:52–16:33
5
What are the biggest myths and misconceptions about causing a miscarriage?
16:33–20:00
6
Can hormonal contraception or lifestyle choices trigger a miscarriage?
20:00–22:00
7
How can individuals and partners best cope with grief and support each other after a loss?
22:00–24:30
8
What resources and next steps does the show recommend for listeners dealing with miscarriage?
24:30–24:54