The Jordan Harbinger Show
1078: House Repairs Laggin' While He's Off the Wagon | Feedback Friday
Fri, 15 Nov 2024
The love of your life's drinking keeps derailing your plans. When does supporting become enabling and love become liability? Welcome to Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: We have an update on the listener from episode 1066 whose boyfriend's ex accused him of molesting her son and his own children! You're in what feels like a dream relationship with a partner who showers you with affection, but they're struggling with alcoholism and financial dependency. You've invested in a second home banking on their renovation skills, but their sobriety keeps wavering. How do you balance love with responsibility? You're an entry-level kitchen designer dreaming of working at a full-service residential design firm. You want to reach out to prospective companies to learn what skills you need to develop, but crafting that perfect networking message feels daunting. How do you make that first impression count? At age 44, you're still grappling with the pain of your father leaving when you were 12 after getting another woman pregnant. While you love your dad and half-brother, you harbor deep resentment toward his new wife. Can old wounds ever truly heal? Your college roommate's boyfriend is moving into your building, and his behavior has always concerned you — from uncomfortable PDA to concerning power dynamics. Additionally, your friend has shared some troubling details about their relationship. How do you protect your friend while respecting boundaries? Recommendation of the Week: Inflatable Hot Tub For 40 years, you've crafted creative, personalized Christmas ornament cards that tell your family's annual story. While many cherish this tradition, some never acknowledge receiving them. Should you keep investing time and emotion into reaching out to an unresponsive void? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Full show...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How can one verify serious accusations in a relationship?
Is there a way I can advocate for Todd to find a new housing option? How do I get him out of the house? To what extent should I even be involved? And how do I manage my own rage at this situation? Signed, looking for a fix for this worrisome roommate sitch.
Phew, okay. Well, like I said, this is obviously all concerning, and I'm very sorry that you and Emma are going through it. Even though there is some ambiguity here, I mean, in terms of how bad Todd really is, how intentional this stuff is, whether this guy is truly malicious or just kind of insensitive, her responses to the relationship, the crying, saying she's scared, acting nervous.
I mean, there's kind of only one conclusion you can draw from that, right? Which is something's not right here. So first of all, I just want to say you are doing so much right. You're attuned to your friend. You're regularly checking in with her. making space for her to share whatever she wants with you, being direct but also being gentle. You're a great friend.
She's lucky to have you in her life, in her apartment. The challenge is she has to accept that invitation and open up to you about what's really going on and or ask for help in order for you to do something here. And it sounds to me like she's giving you a little, but not really the full story. She's saying things like, well, he used to be rough with me, but now it's better.
But then she's not really explaining if she feels violated or if she feels like she's in danger. She's going, I'm scared, but she's not saying why she's scared, whether he's actually threatening to her or whether she's just afraid of speaking up. I don't really know. That's just a really tough spot to be in. Because you have half the information, but not all the information. Only she does.
And so you're left to connect dots and speculate and assume things when she seems worried. And despite what I said earlier, if I were in your shoes, I'd probably be assuming the worst too. So my first piece of advice is keep checking in with Emma. Make it a regular thing without spooking her too much, if that makes sense. And keep making lots of room for her to be totally honest with you.
Make sure she feels safe and protected in opening up to you. Don't judge her choices or push her to a decision too soon. Just listen and show her that she can share as much as she wants with you without getting into trouble somehow. And look, you might need to draw her out a little more or be more direct sometimes if she's being a little cagey with you.
It's okay to say, you mentioned you were scared. Are you scared because Todd said something that scared you? Or is it just scary to think about telling him what upsets you? You're allowed to ask her, I couldn't help but notice that you seemed uneasy when you found out Todd was moving in. I couldn't tell if you were happy or sad about it. How are you feeling?
And if she doesn't really answer your question, you can even tell her, you seemed a little nervous when we last talked. Maybe I'm reading into things though. Am I understanding you right? Between you and me, do you have any feelings about Todd living in the house?
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