The Jordan Harbinger Show
1268: A Week After Hospice, Dad's Got a New Mrs. | Feedback Friday
09 Jan 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
You have to check out.
Lomiajoiden etsoisi loppuvan. Nyt kampanjahintaan sharepori.fi Welcome to Feedback Friday number 409. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger. As always, I'm here with Feedback Friday producer, the multi-purpose cleaner wiping down this dirty countertop of life drama, Gabriel Mizrahi. Very clever. I'm glad I'm not the generic brand, by the way.
That one's 30 cents less, but leaves weird streaks on your mirror. Nah, that ain't you, dawg. You're the premium cleaning solution. Oh, not the Rite Aid private label that kind of doesn't work and smells like vinegar.
Chapter 2: How should I handle my dad's quick remarriage after my mom's Alzheimer's diagnosis?
They're all in the same factor. It's the same thing. They just label it different. I'm convinced. Sometimes they do leave those streaks, though, and you're like, I should have... Should have shelled out for 409. I should have opted for the nice one. That's right.
On the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. Our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker. During the week, we have long-form conversations with a variety of amazing folks.
arms dealers, former jihadis, money laundering experts, hostage negotiators. This week, we had Dr. Rhonda Patrick on brain health, what you might be eating or not eating that is affecting your gray matter, and some easy low-hanging fruit to improve cognitive performance.
Chapter 3: What should I do if my boyfriend shows more affection to my dogs than to me?
On Fridays, though, we share stories, take listener letters, offer advice, play obnoxious soundbites, and compare Gabe to various consumer packaged goods, apparently. Before we jump into the letters Gabe funny story last week, we had a huge storm and the power went out. But we have these backup batteries that we bought and keep the fridge on and stuff. So I turn off everything to conserve energy.
Jen won't even let me use the office light. She's like, you know, open the window. It sounds like my dad in the 80s. Then I head into the living room and I look out the window and I see that she's using the battery backup to roast a prime rib in the Bradley smoker. So I can't use the lights or the bidet. I literally can't wash my ass. But she's roasting a fricking prime rib. Okay.
So I did hear about this in the company Slack, but didn't she say that you guys were hosting a huge dinner for like 22 people that night? Yes, we did. And it was delicious. Okay. I just thought it was funny that she was turning off everything in the house and she's, we're on battery backup. What are you doing?
Chapter 4: Do I have legal standing against my employer for failing to accommodate my health condition?
There's no hot water, for example. which uses like what, 0.005 kilowatt. She did also say that you had the lights on in your studio, but the blackout curtains closed, which is an unnecessary use of electricity. OK, I mean, we have LED bulbs. I guess I can remove the acoustic panels from my windows and then light will come in from outside and then everyone can see my studio from the backyard.
And I don't have that feeling of being alone when I work. I have kids like pressed up to the windows looking at me while I'm trying to do something. That is a nice feeling. Yeah. Being alone. The being alone part. Yeah, I just I feel like my psychological well-being might deserve some backup electricity as well. I don't know.
But you do love the Bradley smoker, so it's hard to say which one is more important. That's right. Speaking of rumps, you can smoke yours in a Bradley smoker. That product is so good. So they only sponsored the show because we bought it and we were like, this is the best thing ever. And they were like, oh, okay, well, I heard you have a podcast. We should sponsor you. So they did.
And it's such a cool product. It's a smoker that doesn't burn the little pellets.
Chapter 5: What strategies can I use to improve my job application success rate?
It just smokes them to the point where they get burned and then it switches automatically to another one. So you don't get the charcoal smoker taste. You just get whatever's in the wood, like the cherry or whatever. The meat that comes out of there is next level if you're into that, which I know you're not. All right. Gabe, what's the first thing out of the mailbag?
Dear Jordan and Gabe, my stepmom has been mom to me since I was 10. My biological mother left when I was three years old. My dad and mom have been married for 44 years, built businesses together, traveled the world, and were best friends. Then, six years ago, my mom was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. My dad has been our full-time caregiver, and honestly, he was a saint.
It has been a brutal, heartbreaking decline involving the inability to care for herself, anger and sadness, almost total loss of speech, and total memory loss. I know that he suffered greatly during those years. Man, I'm so sorry to hear this. This is a really tough thing to go through for all of you. So sad. Her poor dad, man.
To lose your friend and your partner in every conceivable way after 44 years is so tragic. And her to just watch her mom fade away has just got to be so hard to watch. However, things have taken a dark and bizarre turn. Three months ago, dad reconnected with Debbie, a woman he knew from his days in the Jim Rohn personal development industry in the 70s. Oh boy.
Are you saying oh boy to Debbie or to the Jim Rohn part? Mostly the Debbie thing. I don't know much about Jim Rohn. He was before my time. I think this is like before I was born type of self-help. And I'm pretty sure he's not too controversial. I think it's like sales. Kind of like Dale Carnegie-esque stuff.
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Chapter 6: How can I set boundaries with my dad while supporting my mom?
I actually had some of his tapes in giant plastic binders when I was young from the 90s and my dad got them from work or something. I don't remember anything about them really. Pre-internet 90s audible. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? You have a trapper keeper full of cassettes that were labeled like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Take them out one at a time, put them in the machine.
We are dating ourselves. Yeah, and then flip it around and then the next one and the next one. Exactly, yeah. I would put them in the same category as Dale Carnegie, I suppose. Very basic, solid advice. But solid, true, yeah. Yeah, nothing like, it's not culty or anything. Suddenly, he booked a cruise with Debbie for a break.
He came back energized, claiming they were starting a caregiver support business and an AI platform together. Debbie started flying in to help, quote, pack up mom's things, unquote, to move her into a hospice facility. Wow, Debbie, don't waste no time. That's not appropriate. Four weeks ago, a room opened up and we moved mom into care. It was devastating to leave her there.
One week later, literally seven days after moving his wife of 44 years out of the house, dad called to say that he and Debbie were getting married.
Chapter 7: What are the signs of a toxic relationship with a new partner?
No. Oh, ick. That's ridiculous. Come on, man. Come on. Not legally, of course. My lifelong agnostic father who usually mocks religion suddenly accepted Jesus because Debbie wouldn't move in until they were married in the eyes of God. They had an officiant come to the living room and she moved in immediately. Dude, you know what this reminds me of? Have you seen Team America World Police?
Yes, but I don't remember it very well. It's the dumbest movie in the world, but it's so ridiculous and funny. So there's a scene where it's all puppets, right? So like one of the female puppets is like, She says something like, promise me you'll never die and I'll have sex with you right now. And the other puppet's like, I will never die. This is what it's like.
Like, OK, my dad, who usually mocks religion, suddenly accepted Jesus because Debbie wouldn't move in, a.k.a. sleep in the same bed as him until they were married in the eyes of God. So I can imagine her being like, I'm sorry, I just can't sleep with you until we're married in the eyes of God. And he's like, you know what? This Jesus guy, he's an officiant. Where's that priest?
Have him come over this afternoon. But in all seriousness, this is wild and it's gross. It must be so unsettling to watch your own parent make such a huge 180 like this just out of nowhere. Under the influence of a new person. Yes, exactly. Even if there is something real between him and Debbie, which, OK, maybe there is.
Chapter 8: How can I navigate workplace challenges related to health issues?
It's still it's so unsettling and it's dodgy, man. This is happening way too fast. They are now planning a honeymoon while my mom sits alone in a facility 15 minutes away. Gross. Dad has visited exactly once, claiming, quote-unquote, it's too hard and, quote, she doesn't know we're there anyway, unquote. But she does know. My daughters and I visit weekly and mom lights up when we walk in.
She hugs us, kisses us, and talks to us in her way. We want her to know she's not forgotten. Of course. That is very touching and very sad. So he's just like, I'm done. I'm going to pretend that it doesn't matter if I'm there anyway. Yeah. I'm going to Fiji with my old Jim Rohn baddie. Yeah. I'm just going to hit up the open bar on a Royal Caribbean cruise with my self-help side piece.
Man, I'm so glad you guys still visit your mom. That's the right thing to do. It's very sweet. It is, and I can only imagine how much that means to her, living in a facility like that. I mean, I don't know much about what goes on in the brain of somebody who has dementia, but people in your life that you love live all over your brain.
My grandma had dementia, and I would walk in, she would call me Charlie, which is one of her sons, She still was like, it's a person I love that I haven't seen in a long time. She wasn't like, who are you? Get out of here. That's different, I suppose, if they literally think you're a worker at the place every time and they have no memory of you.
But if they get your name wrong or they're like, oh, it's my son, they're still happy. Yeah, she's lighting up. That tells you everything, basically. Yeah, exactly. It gets worse. Dad and Debbie are now planning to buy 100 acres in the Nevada desert to build a compound where we can all live rent-free.
He has become increasingly right-wing and conspiracy-minded, and he's pressuring me to join their new business venture. I visited my parents' house recently to keep the peace, and it was unbearable seeing this woman acting like the new wife in my mother's home. Damn, dude, this is like a bad movie of the week. This is Hallmark Channel lifetime movie nonsense.
Now he wants us all to come over for family get-togethers. My daughters want nothing to do with him, and I feel like I'm watching a manic episode or a long con unfold in real time. Yeah, I hate to say it, but you might be. It does sound like a manic episode or a long con. I don't want to cut my dad off. He's been through hell as a caregiver. But couldn't he have waited even a few months at least?
Mom is still here. My daughters and I can't stomach pretending this is normal. My brothers are stunned, and dad hasn't told most of the family because... He knows how it looks. Interesting. So on some level, at least, he knows this isn't right. That could be useful, I think.
How do I set boundaries with my dad without cutting him off completely, especially while my mom is still alive and still needs us? How do I navigate this situation in a way that protects my emotional well-being without abandoning him in his grief and whatever this new dynamic is?
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