Author & Relationship Coach: Rewriting Your Love Story After Failure

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Living Your Legacy 17 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What personal experiences shaped Randa Dutcher's relationship coaching?

Randa Dutcher 0:00
I remarried my ex-husband, so we've been married twice. We got divorced during my fifth pregnancy. We just really fell apart. But in that two and a half year span, I really found myself. Randa Dutcher is a faith-driven singer, speaker, and author whose life reflects redemption, courage, and calling reclaimed. Through her music, coaching, books, and the Going Dutch podcast, Randa is empowering others to shine boldly and believe that no story is too broken to be made beautiful again.
Rudy Mawer 0:28
So what do you teach others now? How do you teach others in relationship and connection around that?
Randa Dutcher 0:34
The heart, the vulnerability, the connection in that space was really what was lacking. Everybody has negative thoughts, crazy ideas, chaotic moments, but being able to have a safe space with your partner to say anything and everything.

How did Randa transform her struggles into empowerment?

Rudy Mawer 0:49
Someone's bottling it up and not having those, I call them hard conversations. What do you say to them?
Randa Dutcher 0:55
I think first you have to be really clear what you're upset about. Is it something from my past that I was triggered by? Or is it something they said? And then just be really clear, hey, you said this, and this is what I heard, and this is how it made me feel.
Unknown 1:13
It spans the globe like a super high school internet. Elvis Presley. Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone. It's not over until I win. The Living Your Legacy podcast. For those who live to leave a legacy.
Unknown 1:48
That's extraordinary. The impossible. Oh, that is sensational. Open. Chicago with the lead. You said Paul is the fastest man on the planet. You can live your dream.
Rudy Mawer 1:57
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Legacy Makers. Joining me today is Randa. She's a singer, a speaker, an author, a podcaster. And today we're going to talk about how to maximize a relationship and how to really connect in a relationship and a whole bunch more that she's up to. So excited for this. Welcome to the show. Thank you, Rudy. So I know you do a lot. I couldn't get it all in my intro, so I'd love to pass over to you. Tell us for a minute about yourself and what you're up to.
Randa Dutcher 2:27
Yeah, so I'm a mom of five, first and foremost.

What principles does Randa emphasize for sustaining meaningful relationships?

Randa Dutcher 2:30
I remarried my ex-husband, so we've been married twice.
Rudy Mawer 2:34
You just wanted two weddings?
Randa Dutcher 2:36
Well, yeah. No, we got divorced during my fifth pregnancy, and we're writing a book about it right now.
Rudy Mawer 2:44
And that's what we're going to talk about today, right?
Randa Dutcher 2:46
Yeah, yeah. And so I speak on stages about that. I sing the national anthem at a lot of professional sports and rodeo events. And I have a podcast. I've written a couple of books and I got two more this year.
Rudy Mawer 3:01
Right. Tell us a little quickly before we dive into the main topic. What are the books and podcasts?
Randa Dutcher 3:07
My podcast is Going Dutch, and it's a lot about relationships, spirituality, messages of hope and peace. And my book, Healing Through Broken Relationships, is a collaboration book. And it's 17 different authors that talk about how they had a broken heart from death of a spouse or a parent or lost their job or suicide ideation, all kinds of topics about heartbrokenness and how that created resiliency.
Unknown 3:35
Wow.
Randa Dutcher 3:36
And then my other book is You Have a Gift Shine Bright. It's a children's book and it has a list of 150 gifts in the back from I'm organized, I'm athletic, I can sing, I make friends easily. And it's a story about a child going through their day at school and seeing that everyone has gifts.

How can vulnerability improve communication in relationships?

Rudy Mawer 3:52
That's cool. Yes. Thanks. OK, so let's dive into the main. Let's start with the story, I guess, the tease into some of the advice and tips and stuff you teach. Tell us about the, you know, the double marriage. Right. And how that led to everything you do.
Randa Dutcher 4:07
Yeah. So my husband and I were high school sweethearts and we got married in our 20s, had four kids. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And he was an alcoholic. I got pregnant with our fifth child and he was having an affair and we just really fell apart. And as we weren't able to make it work, he moved out, we got divorced. But in that two and a half year span, I really found myself, I got married at 20.
Unknown 4:40
Mm-hmm.
Randa Dutcher 4:40
And I lived next door to my dad, and my mom was there right with me.

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