Ranking Viral Relationship Advice (with Couples Therapist Zach Brittle)
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
There is a lot of relationship advice online that sounds good in theory. Don't go to bed angry, never stop dating your partner, let him feel needed, stop texting first, watch less TV together. But somehow we are still having the same fights. We're still feeling disconnected. We are still not having the relationships that we know that we deserve. On the Liz Moody podcast, we are always looking for the levers that we can pull that will create real felt change. So today we are ranking relationship advice from social media. The top ranking is S tier. That is superior advice, the best of the best. And then it goes in order A, B, C, D, E, all the way down to F tier, which is advice that you should definitely not listen to, advice that you should leave far, far behind.
I'm joined today by Zach Brittle. He is one of the only therapists in the entire world certified in both the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy and Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy. He is a best-selling author. He is a top podcast host, and his work has been featured in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Vanity Fair. This is part of a new series where we have already ranked therapy advice from the internet with Lori Gottlieb. We have ranked nutrition advice. We have ranked fitness advice with a celebrity trainer. We've ranked gut health advice with Dr. Karan Rajan. So scroll back in our feeds. You do not miss out on any of those. And then also let me know in the comments what topic we should rank next.
And I really want to know if you disagree with any of the advice in this episode. It's a free world. I'd love to hear it. So let us know in the comments if you would rank anything differently. All right, Zach Bredel, welcome to the podcast. Thanks. Welcome back. This is from Kristen Cavallari. I'm curious, do you know who that is? I do. Okay, I'm impressed. Did you watch Laguna Beach?
No.
What is your advice for what to do when you feel like a guy is pulling away? Match that energy. Do not keep reaching out. You guys, if someone doesn't text me one freaking time, I'm never texting you ever again. I mean, live by that because here's the thing. Even if, let's say, a guy saw your text and was like, I'll get to it later and then, you If you like someone, you're thinking about them. So let's say I missed someone's text. Well, in a couple hours, I'd be like, oh my gosh, you know, I haven't heard from so-and-so for a while. I should like, what the fuck? And then you would go to text them. So if a guy is not texting you, he's not that interested in you. And I will stand by that until the day I die.
You feel him pulling away?
Bye. This is dating advice more than relationship advice. But what do we think?
I think it's terrible. Her whole thing is coming out of a space of certainty. If I don't get the thing I want, I know exactly what that means. And that isn't a place that you can actually build a sustainable relationship. If he hasn't texted me, that means he's not interested in me. Or if he's withdrawing, then that means the relationship is in danger. There's no, there's so many different ways that you can interpret someone not texting you back. I mean, I don't want to get into the weeds of this, but like their phone could be dead. Their mother could be in the hospital. They could be doing something nefarious and weird. They could be, you know, who knows? Anytime that you sort of build your relationship philosophy on is the person behaving in exactly the way I need them to behave, then you're, again, you're limiting yourself.
Have you seen the movie? He's just not that into you?
No.
Okay. The idea is that women particularly spend a lot of time like dissecting the texts and trying to figure out the secret messages and how long he's taking to reply all these things. But really, like, you know, if somebody likes you, you know, if somebody's into you. Do you think that's true? I think you can know, but I think, you know... Like if you're dissecting it, he is not, is the general premise. Like if you're having to think it through, then he is not showing you that he's into you in a way that would indicate he really is.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–5:51
2
How does viral texting-advice like “match his energy” actually harm relationships?
5:51–18:19
3
Why is “have more fun together” considered superior relationship advice?
18:19–34:49
4
Can watching TV together weaken intimacy or be useful for connection?
34:49–43:11
5
When should you ask a partner to change versus walk away from the relationship?
43:11–54:31
Speakers
7 identifiedMore from The Liz Moody Podcast
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