Jizz in My Pants and Virgania Horsen's Pony Express

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The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast 1h 3m 17 speakers transcribed
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Margie Samuels 0:00
This episode of the Lonely Island podcast is brought to you by our friends at Makers Mark. We are celebrating Women's History Month by recognizing the spirited women in our lives and remembering Makers Mark co-founder Margie Samuels. You too can celebrate the spirited women in your life with a free personalized label to go with a bottle of Makers Mark. Head to makersmarkpersonalize.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label. Makers Mark makes their bourbon carefully. Please enjoy it that way. Maker's Mark Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 45% alcohol per volume. Copyright 2025 Maker's Mark Distillery, Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky.
Seth Meyers 0:43
Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast. We just got off to the best start and we had to stop Jorm because we thought everybody here should hear it as well.
Andy Samberg 0:51
I'm doing great because the last couple weeks I've been really on fire, you know.
Seth Meyers 0:55
You have been red hot.
Andy Samberg 0:56
Yeah, my version of red hot, yeah.
Seth Meyers 0:58
No, genuinely. I feel as though you've been the glue guy the last couple episodes, Jorm.
Andy Samberg 1:03
Thanks, thanks Seth.
Seth Meyers 1:04
But then, you just, you are a collector of people, Jorm.
Andy Samberg 1:07
That's true.
Seth Meyers 1:08
But the people you collect are like Mad Lib entries.
Andy Samberg 1:13
I was telling these guys before we started this podcast that I have some Finnish friends staying with me. For lack of a better term, he's sort of a shaman, and she's a clairvoyant, but they do body work. I'm kind of running a spa out of my house.
Seth Meyers 1:29
Gotcha. So you directed a film in the great nation of Finland. You had enough time while you're doing this to befriend a shaman and his clairvoyant wife. Yes. And now it sounds as though you're running an illegal spa out of your home.
Margie Samuels 1:45
There's no money exchanging hands, I assume.
Andy Samberg 1:47
No, I'm losing money, if anything. I've been paying for people's sessions.
Seth Meyers 1:59
Hey, fellas. Hi. What up? We're going to talk about two episodes. One episode has two shorts, but there's an episode with no shorts I want to talk about as well, but just a little bit of housekeeping off the top. Hit us. From the comments, people were very excited about the mention of the Phoenix Theater in Ross Trent.
Kyle Mooney 2:16
Oh, was that the name of the theater? Oh, in Petaluma?
Seth Meyers 2:18
Yeah, in Petaluma. Everybody was sort of shouting out in the comics, oh my God, the Phoenix. I love that place. I can't believe they mentioned it.
Will Forte 2:24
Oh, awesome. That's cool. Nice. Nice.
Seth Meyers 2:27
One of our friends released an album this week. And I feel like we should give a quick shout out to Kyle Mooney.
Kyle Mooney 2:33
I was just listening to it again. It's so wonderful. Put down your phone.
Seth Meyers 2:39
Put down your phone. What is the name of that song?
Kyle Mooney 2:40
Turn off the TV. Digital world. We're living in a digital society.
Seth Meyers 2:44
Yeah. Kyle Mooney, I highly recommend first going to watch a YouTube video, which is basically a release video talking about the release of his album. The album is called The Real Me. Yeah. It's dry as a bone. Dry as a bone. So really, the cover is great. It does look like a singer-songwriter album from the 70s. It's a beautifully taken photograph.
Kyle Mooney 3:03
Yeah, it's a nice cover for sure.
Seth Meyers 3:05
My favorite thing about the release video is he's talking about he finally gets to show the real him. And then he keeps having you hear his side of a conversation where it seems like maybe his manager is angrily calling and saying, you can't let people see the real you. And it's a delight. Somebody asked why Single Ladies isn't online and it is music clearance. Oh, I didn't know it wasn't. I didn't actually double check this person's work, but I assume our listeners are good enough at Googling.
Andy Samberg 3:30
How can they not get it cleared? I feel like they know the lady who would be responsible for that, you know?
Seth Meyers 3:36
Yeah. And then somebody wrote this comment, which I just enjoyed the wording. Excuse I, Seth, I had to stop the episode to comment and say that you are a turbo white bald head for not thinking Ross Trent was criterion.
Kyle Mooney 3:49
Very well phrased, in my opinion.
Seth Meyers 3:51
Yeah, very well phrased. Seth, by the way, your shirt is on the way. I designed it. It's coming. Oh, great. I mean, that would be your move to actually make the shirt. Yeah. I do fully believe you.

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