How to Become More Confident, Influential, and Communicate Better with #1 Harvard Business Professor
episodePreviously titled “Harvard Business School Professor: This One Research Study Will Change Your Life and Career” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
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What conversation topics do we often avoid and why?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Let me ask you a question. How many times today did you stop yourself from saying something? I get it. Maybe it felt awkward or unnecessary or that if you said something, it might make things weird. So instead, you were like, I'm fine. You kept it light. You swallowed the comment. You hid the truth. And you let it go.
How does undersharing affect our relationships and careers?
You probably told yourself, oh, that's maturity. That's emotional intelligence. That's having solid boundaries, not saying anything. But what if you're just terrified of oversharing? You obsess over saying too much. You replay conversations because you're worried that you said the wrong thing or you crossed a line or people are going to judge you. Most of us think the danger is in oversharing, you know, saying too much, crossing a line, being too vulnerable. But today's guest, a Harvard Business School professor who's a behavioral scientist and studies decision-making, says that's the wrong fear. What you should be afraid of is the real damage that comes from undersharing, being closed off, not opening up about what's going on in your life.
This episode is not about sharing everything with everyone. This episode is about the skill of being open, being vulnerable, and learning how to be honest about what's going on. Because if you really apply what you're about to learn today, your relationships will be closer, your conversations are going to get easier, you'll feel happier because of these tips from the number one professor at Harvard Business School. Before we jump in, I want to invite you to stick around for a special segment later in the episode sponsored by Expedia, because I'm going to be sharing something that might make you a happier person starting today.
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited that you're here. It's always an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, I just wanted to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, we're talking about research that will change your life and your career from the number one professor on decision-making at Harvard Business School. Today's guest is a leading authority on how people decide what to reveal, what to withhold, and how those decisions shape trust, relationships, success, and happiness. I'm talking about Dr. Leslie K. John.
She is a Harvard Business School professor, the James E. Burke Professor of Business Administration, and a behavioral scientist who has spent decades studying honesty, self-disclosure, trust, privacy, regret, and decision-making. Her research has been published in the most respected scientific journals in the world, and she is the author of the best-selling book, Revealing. The Underrated Power of Oversharing, which completely changed how I think about silence, vulnerability, and the things we don't say. So without further ado, please help me welcome Dr. Leslie John to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Oh, thanks so much for having me. I am so excited to dig into everything that you're about to teach us, your research.
And where I want to start is how selfishly, how could my life be different if I take to heart everything that you are teaching at Harvard Business School? the lessons, the takeaway, the research, and I really apply it to my life. How is my life going to change?
So number one is the realization that revealing wisely is a skill. It's not something we're born good or bad at. It is a skill. And you can do some really practical things, which we're going to talk about, to do it really wisely. And if you do it wisely, it's going to transform your relationships. It's going to change how you show up at work. It's going to help you thrive at work. It's going to make you more influential. And it's even going to shape and improve your well-being, your day-to-day happiness. Just by being more open? Yes.
What is The Disclosure Matrix and how can it help?
You're going to notice that your EQ, your emotional intelligence, is going to increase.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What conversation topics do we often avoid and why?
0:00–0:32
2
How does undersharing affect our relationships and careers?
0:32–4:32
3
What is The Disclosure Matrix and how can it help?
4:32–7:04
4
Why is being vulnerable considered a strength in the workplace?
7:04–9:52
5
How can we identify when to share and when to stay quiet?
9:52–12:31
6
What are the health impacts of keeping secrets?
12:31–15:05
7
How can we effectively communicate our feelings?
15:05–19:33
8
What are the long-term benefits of being more open?
19:33–1:05:45
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from The Mel Robbins Podcast
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