643: Healing inner-child wounds you didn’t know you had | Nicole LePera, Ph.D. (The Holistic Psychologist)
episodePreviously titled “634: Healing inner-child wounds you didn’t know you had | Nicole LePera, Ph.D. (The Holistic Psychologist)” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 5, 2026
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How can you recognize your inner child?
Welcome to the My Buddy Green podcast. I'm Jason Wachub, founder and co-CEO of My Buddy Green and your host. Most of us think we know ourselves pretty well. We know our habits, our tendencies, our personality.
What is the new definition of childhood trauma?
But what if some of the traits we're most proud of are survival strategies you developed before you even knew you were surviving? Today's guest is Dr. Nicole LaPera, also known as the Holistic Psychologist on social media. She is the author of multiple bestselling books, including How to Do the Work and her newest, Reparenting the Inner Child. Her work has reached tens of millions of people who are waking up to the idea that healing doesn't happen in a therapist's office alone. It happens in the small daily choices we make to show up differently. Nicole brings something rare to the space, the science to back up the feeling that something from your past is still running the show and a practical path forward.
How has parenting evolved over the years?
This one hit close to home for me. It was fascinating. I think you're really going to like it. Let's get to it.
Why is safety fundamental in child development?
So what's a behavior that us adults think is, you know, just my personality, but in reality, it's our inner child. And there's a need that needs to be met.
I think many behaviors end up becoming identities. Three off the top of my mind that I think are super common and even to some extent maybe even celebrated in our society, one of which is being independent or hyper-independent, especially here in the West where we pride ourselves, right, as not needing anyone or anything.
How do children internalize parental anger?
And of course, that can feel for many of us like a choice, though sometimes I am of the belief that all things date back to our early childhood.
What role does epigenetics play in trauma?
Independence for a lot of us can end up being a protective stance where we learned at some time in some earlier version of our reality, our relationships, where we learned that relying on others meant disappointment or it meant hurt. Drive is another really common one.
Why is insight alone not enough for change?
I think for a lot of us, myself included, overachievers, right? It can feel like ambition. It can be celebrated. By the world around us, the accolades, the letters after our name, though for me, as I know is the case for many others, that drive, that ambition, that presenting ourselves in an achievement-driven way, for some of us can have been at one time the only reliable way that we secured success. attention or safety and even sensitivity right this attunement that we have to the outside world i hear a lot of talk about highly sensitive people where right we feel like this is just wired in it's a temperament though again i can make a case that that's actually a beautiful adaptation of a nervous system that at one time in an unpredictable or unsafe emotional landscape that scanning right developed from a protective standpoint
And how does one know when they're having a moment where, hey, not me, sorry, excuse me, it's not my adult self, I'm reacting to my inner child. How does one go about that process to catching themselves?
I think really common markers are when we have what feels like an oversized, a really big reaction to our circumstances. Oftentimes in those moments, right, we feel emotionally overwhelmed. Our reaction feels urgent, like what we absolutely need to do in the moment. There's no choice to do anything else. And in our mind, I think often that maps onto circumstances. all or nothing, black and white type of thinking. But of course, there's the other side too, where we have an underreaction, right? Where we need to action, advocate for ourselves, maybe even remove ourself from an unsafe situation, yet we cannot motivate to do that. So I think those markers, kind of the oversizedness of the reaction will often indicate to us and the lack of control, I should say, within the reaction that happens or the behavioral pattern.
I think that is often a marker that that is dating to an earlier time because quite literally what's happening in the body is we are flooded by emotions from an earlier time that limit then our choices in response.
What steps can you take to start healing your inner child?
So emotional dysregulation.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How can you recognize your inner child?
0:00–0:15
2
What is the new definition of childhood trauma?
0:15–0:56
3
How has parenting evolved over the years?
0:56–1:05
4
Why is safety fundamental in child development?
1:05–1:38
5
How do children internalize parental anger?
1:38–1:46
6
What role does epigenetics play in trauma?
1:46–2:04
7
Why is insight alone not enough for change?
2:04–4:05
8
What steps can you take to start healing your inner child?
4:05–44:32
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from The mindbodygreen Podcast
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