[Quick Tip] How to Do Child-Led Therapy When Compliance-Based Approaches Have Been Ingrained in Our Kids
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How can therapists shift from compliance‑based to child‑led therapy for kids who expect “work”?
How do you do childland therapy with a child who is so used to compliance-based approaches? We've all been there where a child comes into our room and they're so used to compliance-based approaches that they're expecting to come in and quote work, but our sessions look completely differently. How do we combat that? How do we let them know, no, this is different? This is a safe space. We do things differently around here. Let's talk about that today.
What's up everyone and welcome to Making the Shift for Autistic Kids. We're an SLP couple from California with four boys. And we're here every week to bring you neuroaffirming tips, tricks, and tools. Are you ready to make the shift? Let's do this!
Why does trauma from past therapy make it hard for children to engage in play‑based sessions?
We had this question come up in our NeuroFirm Facebook group and I wanted to read it because I think that this is a place where we've all been. We've all been in a situation with a child who is so used to compliance based approaches and then they come into our sessions and it just feels like we're really like going uphill. Like it is hard because we are doing something that the child is not used to doing, which is Focusing on play and fun and the child's like, What's going on? Normally I like work when I go into these sessions. Okay, so here's the question. Has anyone experienced difficulty implementing child led therapy practices with kids that have had years of compliance-based therapies? It's almost like I'm too unstructured for them.
I've seen at work with kids in this situation, but it has taken months to unwind what has been ingrained in them. And I couldn't agree more. This is something that absolutely takes time. I mean think about
What language and framing should clinicians use to show therapy is fun, not work?
Us adults, we've had traumatic things happen in our lifetimes that we are still working through, right? Undoing trauma doesn't just take one day, it doesn't just take one conversation with one friend. It literally can take months and years. to have to work through some of that. And for some of our kids, that is what their past therapy has really felt like to them. Has been trauma. It's been, you know, their nervous system hasn't been nurtured, they haven't felt supported and it's been therapy has not been a fun place for them. So it makes total sense for them to come into our session, into our room that might not look any different than other rooms they've been in the past, where they're coming in and they're quote working and they're listening to the person.
And that's just something that they have been almost conditioned to do. It should something that they are used to doing.
How does inconsistent approaches across therapists confuse children and affect progress?
You know, I first of all always tell parents, like, I don't use the word work. When it comes to therapy, I think plearn. Learning needs to be through play, a play is fun. So I don't use the word work. That's not something like if a parent would ever say, like, oh, go do your work, I might laugh and be like, we're gonna go play, you know, and then maybe we'll talk about that later. But I always like to set that up for parents where this is a place where we play. It is not a place where we quote work, although we are building amazing skills, right? And they're getting a lot done, but it's all getting done through play. The thing is that if Families have had a lot of compliance based approaches and they're still doing some, but then they're continuing to come see us.
That's where I see a really big problem because it's almost like we're getting in this boat with all the team members and we're trying to row different directions. One therapist is using one approach, I'm using one approach, the child doesn't know what to expect, the child's confused, he doesn't know.
Why is it essential for the whole therapy team and parents to use the same child‑led approach?
what therapy's gonna look like when he walks through the door. And it's just a really hard place to be in for a child to not know what to expect. It's so much more effective for us to all get on the same page. So that's why I've always said to parents, like, I don't care which therapies you're doing, as long as we're all working toward the same thing, we're all using the same approach. That's really what is important to me.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
How can therapists shift from compliance‑based to child‑led therapy for kids who expect “work”?
0:00–0:54
2
Why does trauma from past therapy make it hard for children to engage in play‑based sessions?
0:54–1:49
3
What language and framing should clinicians use to show therapy is fun, not work?
1:49–2:40
4
How does inconsistent approaches across therapists confuse children and affect progress?
2:40–3:39
5
Why is it essential for the whole therapy team and parents to use the same child‑led approach?
3:39–4:29
6
What practical steps can families take to build trust and keep therapy play‑focused over time?
4:29–5:33
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from The NeuroAffirm Podcast
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