Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people. build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us, America. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Jade Walsh, our best-selling author. Ramsey Personality is my co-host today. So we're going to take your calls. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Leona starts off this hour in Fairbanks, Alaska. Hi, Leona. How are you?
Hey, Dave. I'm great. How are you doing?
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Okay, so I'm calling because I am pretty newly married. Not my first rodeo. But one of the things I did, I made a mistake of, is not doing my financials. background check um on my new spouse and so um october we got married in may in october we realized that we are close to a million dollars in debt and uh wait a minute slow down wait a minute stop stop stop stop stop i got lost in this already i want to make sure i'm with you so you're how old I am 45. Okay.
And you've been married before.
I have.
You said not first rodeo. Okay. So you met a guy and you married him and you said it was a mistake to not do a background check.
No, a financial check.
You didn't have conversations about money is what you're saying.
Um, I didn't check to see what kind of debt ratio.
Did you ask him? No.
Oh, okay.
So you just kind of walked in blindly. He thought you didn't care. Turns out you cared. Okay. Yeah. All right. I got it. And so you've been married for how long?
For about nine months.
Okay. And then you woke up one morning and decided to ask or he decided to tell you what happened?
I wanted to quit my job. And so in that, I asked him if that was possible. We went back and forth. I said, I really need to see the budget, assuming he kept one. And I found out there that he didn't keep a budget. But when I started pulling things together, finding about 17 credit cards, I realized there's no way. And he was heavily reliant on my income as well.
How was he making it before you were married?
As a bachelor, he was just a heavy spender.
If he couldn't make it without your salary now, how was he making it without your salary before you were married?
He bought a $500,000 house.
Since you were married?
After we were married. My name is not on the title.
Since you got married. When did he buy the $500,000 house?
uh august it closed so we were married when so you're married you bought a house okay you were aware you were buying a house i was so five hundred thousand dollars is owed on the house and you said there's a million dollars what's the other five hundred thousand dollars there's about there's a another house that he had it's a three hundred thousand dollar home um just that we were we have it as a rental right now what's owed on it 330 okay so did you not know about the rental No, I did.
You just didn't think about it. All right. So $830,000.
$830,000.
And now what's the other $200,000 in debt?
He has a HELOC loan and some medical debt and then about almost $200,000 in credit card. Okay. And so what's your question? Um, I mean, how do I not murder him, eh?
It's not his fault. It's yours.
You didn't ask. I know.
I know.
Well, he doesn't get murdered. You might, but he doesn't.
Great.
I mean, you walked around acting like nothing's happening, and he just assumed it was all okay. He's living his life like a, you know, just happy as he can be, happy as a little old clam. And then you came along and wanted to quit your job, and he couldn't do it. So you're the one that didn't do anything. I mean, he's got a mess. There's no question about that. We don't need to murder him. Does he want to clean this up?
So far, he's been doing everything. We have a financial peace university coach right now who's helping us untangle a lot of things. Great.
So both houses are for sale?
No.
Well, they need to be. Okay. Y'all are broke people. Yeah. Because I'm guessing there's a little bit of equity in these houses you can use to clean up this stupid butt credit card mess. This guy spends like he's in Congress.
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