Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! This week, we get straight into our callers. Our first caller’s husband cheated on her five years ago, but she forgave him. Our second caller’s girlfriend’s sister hates her. And, our third caller blocked her best friend because they wanted her to pay for their car repair. “I’m looking for redirection, I want to forgive.” Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff every Monday starting October 21st! Available wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 https://open.spotify.com/show/4NWA8LBk15l2u5tNQqDcOO?si=c03a23d537f94735 Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [email protected] to be a part of our Monday episodes. To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to [email protected] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: ShipStation - Go to https://shipstation.com and use code VIALLFILES to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Quince - Upgrade your wardrobe with pieces made to last with Quince. Go to https://quince.com/viall for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Helix Sleep - Helix is offering 25% off sitewide and 2 free dream pillows with any mattress purchase! Go to https://helixsleep.com/viall Goodwipes - If you want to upgrade your restroom ritual, you can grab Goodwipes at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and most local grocery stores! Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @justinkaphillips @dereklanerussell @kymccarthy23 @allisonklemes
Chapter 1: What are the wild and outrageous calls this week?
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What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Vile Files Ask Nick edition. Well, we are super excited to get to our calls because they are wild, outrageous, and fascinating. But before we do, don't forget to send in your questions to asknick at thevilefiles.com. All right, it's time for caller number one.
Chapter 2: How to cope with a partner's infidelity while pregnant?
What's your time with me? Let's ask Nick your sexy questions.
How's it going?
I'm good. How are you?
Good. What's your name?
My name is Anna and I'm 35 years old.
How can we help Anna?
Well, so my husband cheated on me while I was pregnant about five years ago. And while I chose to forgive him, I'm having a hard time moving on.
Okay. Is there any context you want to provide regarding the affair? I mean, I know it was five years ago, but whatever you want to do, but give me the cliff notes of the affair, so to speak. And then what happened, I guess, what led to your decision to ultimately forgive him and try to work through this betrayal?
All I know is it was an emotional affair. I have never gotten the full outline. Why not? No, I mean, I know what he tells me, which he says that it was just emotional and it wasn't physical. And I mean, we've done endless marriage counseling, endless, like we're therapy king and queens over here. And it was emotional, you know, in therapy, he confirmed it was emotional. So I only have that.
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Chapter 3: What does it mean to forgive but not forget?
The first.
The first. Okay. And then the second pregnancy, as far as you know? Yeah.
So anyways, flash forward to now, you know, five years ago, we have a great marriage. I mean, like, We have a beautiful property. He has his own business. He keeps us afloat. I stay at home with the kids. It was a great second pregnancy.
What, what, uh, you're obviously getting emotional. Um, why, why is, I mean, I, without the obvious question, but this was five years ago. So, and you're speaking about this as quite honestly, it was like maybe five months ago. Why is this so triggering for you?
Well, I guess just like when you live in a toxic relationship, your children pick that up, you know? And so I'm just like, trying to figure out what way to go. Because, like, when we fight now, like, I have this, like, sense of, like, power feeling where I feel like I'm owed, like, every fight he should have to bow down to me. Yeah. And I know that's not okay.
And I mean, like, honestly, Nick, we've gone through so much counseling and your advice is substantially better than all of our therapists.
Well, that's generous of you to say. Have you had multiple therapists?
Yes.
Just out of curiosity, and this is not to shirk my ego, but I'm genuinely curious. What is something that you heard from our show that you found very helpful that you wish you would have heard in therapy or something you've heard in therapy that you found to be almost unhelpful? You know what I'm saying? I am curious.
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Chapter 4: How to handle a toxic relationship with in-laws?
I know. No, this isn't easy.
Those are all the things I want to do.
I know. But it really comes down to your girlfriend. I don't know how you get through this unless your girlfriend is willing to confront her sister. Because what I'm ultimately hearing is...
Your girlfriend wants a relationship with her sister and she wants everything to be fine with the two of you, but her sister has a very strong opinion about you and your girlfriend is either unwilling or unable to communicate to her sister how she really feels about how her sister is acting and is unwilling to set a very rigid boundary about what she expects of her sister.
I mean, it's kind of crazy. The picture you're painting is, is that we have this whole family trip and everyone's afraid of the little girl's sister, the youngest baby in the family. Like, who is this person? Like, why do they have so much power over everyone else? That seems kind of crazy to me.
Yeah, I would agree. It is kind of crazy.
Yeah. I think you need to have more expectations of your girlfriend.
Yeah.
Because it almost sounds like your girlfriend is conveniently allowing you two to hate each other because she doesn't want to be a part of it. And she needs to pick a side. And I don't mean a side like cutting her sister off, but like she needs to say, hey, listen, stop this. You don't have to love her. You don't even have to like her. You have to be respectful around her because I love her.
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