The William Montgomery Show
CJ Landry | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 178
01 May 2025
Chapter 1: What happens at the start of the show?
Recorded live in Austin, Texas, USA. It's the William Montgomery Show. Starring William Montgomery and the devious Casey Rockett. With the Tony Chin Orchestra. The William Montgomery Jr. Dancers. As always, William is joined by the lovely Erica. I'm Casey Rockett. And now here he is, the big red machine, the Memphis Strangler, William Montgomery.
Do y'all look at each other or you just look at the screen?
You, it's your personal preference.
Ooh, it is your call. You can look at each, you can look at William.
We don't direct anybody.
Or you can look at the screen. Yeah, it's a dealer's choice here.
Because I like looking at you at the screen, but then also like looking at you here, it's just kind of like, it's a weird like turning thing, but... It's a weird, so we're going to have to figure this out. This is like a newscast. I feel like it's better to be like a newscast. I can see you good. You know what I mean? I...
I see you right here, and you can't even tell what you're really looking at, but right, I'm looking at you right now.
I'm looking at you right now, but you look like you're looking at yourself.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of CJ's return after three years?
What'd she get locked up for? Did you know this?
Wait, this isn't the woman.
Is this the woman?
This is a former teacher, Lucia.
She has a thyroid problem. Yeah, that woman has a freaking thyroid. Is that what happens when somebody has a big old thing on their neck? Is that a thyroid issue? Or is it a lymph node? I don't know. That's a big neck. A goiter. Is that what killed the goofy guy on Saved by the Bell, right? Screech? Screech. He had a lump on his neck.
He had a lump on his neck and didn't do anything about it. And then you finally go to the doctor and it's like, dude, you've got like a week to live. Really? Go to Hawaii or something.
How big was the lump?
Can you see if there's any pictures of the lump?
Sometimes I feel like I have a lump and it's just like a part of my body. You got to check the other side. That's what I learned. You got to check both sides. Oh, this is on both sides of my neck. So that's just part of my neck.
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Chapter 3: How do personal experiences impact stand-up comedy?
What?
I was on fire. Wow. And everybody thought it was the funniest thing. They just kept laughing? Draining them. I loved it, but I never could play. Well, I promise. Maybe 15, maybe it was 12. It was double digits. Okay, so the numbers are not... Okay. The amount isn't really... Yeah, the amount's already going down a little. Just because I don't want to lie, because... We could figure, I don't know.
I could figure it out, but it maybe doesn't.
Yeah, so I don't remember much about it. I mean, God, PE. I mean, I was just not picked. I don't know. I just wasn't. I'll tell you what, this fifth grade teacher kind of picked me, though.
What do you mean? It sounded like when you were talking about it, maybe nothing ended up happening by the end of the story.
No, so the rest of the story, I was just fully into this lady, man. I just showed up with gifts. I was doing it all, bro. In the fifth grade. I was writing notes and shit. And... She leaves the school that year. She's like transferring schools or something. I don't know why. Could have been because of your ass. I have no idea why.
She could have fallen so hard for you. She was like, I got to get out of the school.
I still need to talk to my mom about that. I don't know why. So anyway, the short of it is she comes to my house to say bye to me. Oh. She's like, yeah, dude, she comes to my house. They buy me. She sits on the front porch. I remember I was sitting on the front porch and, like, talking about, you know, her leaving. What are you going to do in the future? Fifth grader. Her leaving.
She's like, look, just 10 years, all right? And, yeah, no, dude, I... So... Well, that's kind of sweet. So you left some sort of an impression that she came and hung out on the porch with you. And she gave me her email address.
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Chapter 4: What funny memories do they share about school?
Okay, you know Minion. You fucking think I live on a rock? Okay, okay. Yeah, no, I...
And they make their food so cute. Yeah, yeah.
We were watching videos. No, the Japanese people make their food cute. Oh. Yeah. We were watching videos for four hours yesterday of people walking around and not saying anything. We found this very funny channel where they're not saying anything, but they're typing stuff up like, ooh, this cheeseburger is very good.
Wait, you just reminded me of something. There's a Japanese mukbang girl.
Uh-huh.
And, dude, it is, like, unbelievable what she eats.
She will eat.
Is it nasty? That mukbang stuff makes me want to, like, pick something up and throw it into the wall. It's disgusting. And she's real thin. You know, she's vomiting it all up. Oh, yeah. So she, like, orders everything from McDonald's. And she's like, I'm going to eat everything from McDonald's in the next fucking two hours. And you're like, holy shit.
And she does it?
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