you don’t have to give up your life to date
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Why might letting go of a relationship be for the best?
Maybe it was the right person, but the wrong time. And maybe there was never a time for both of you in this life to have something work. And you know what? It's probably for the better. I know you're upset. And I know that you're sad. I know you're frustrated. But I do think that it happened the way it was supposed to. And now you can't hold on to this experience, this person, whatever, and feel very, very upset and feel almost like it was your fault that you lost them. Or you can realize that it not working taught you so much more that you would never know beforehand. It's really difficult when you love somebody and you don't want to let them go because you know it will make your life very different.
It will make you feel more alone. It will probably expose a lot of the things that you've been distracting yourself from, like your lack of self-worth and wrapping your entire identity into another person just so you can feel less alone. But I do think that people underestimate the power of just letting something go. You don't have control over another person oftentimes in a relationship. And I think people try so, so much to hold on to things that were never good for them in the first place. And maybe in their mind, they've convinced themselves that this is a true love. This is a true thing. And I'm sure you felt that or you were just like, man, this person makes me smile and laugh in a way that nobody else has.
This person lights my soul on fire like I've never had from even a best friend. How can I distance myself from somebody like this? And it doesn't even have to be a relationship. It can just be a friend or a relative that either is no longer here or you have to distance yourself from. I still think you can keep them alive in your mind. I still think that the good parts of your experiences, the memories and the things that you have made together, you don't have to sour them and tell yourself, no, all of that is bad and was worth nothing because in the end we didn't stay together. What if staying together is the cherry on top? It's not the mission. I think that a lot of relationships run their course a little too long because people are afraid to part ways and see what else is out there.
And don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean that you should break up with them. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't fight to have something good. A lot of us don't know we had it good until it's gone, right? It means you have to be honest. And it also means you have to know if you're screwing up. Recently I've had to look in the mirror a lot. I felt a certain way about some of my friendships, some of my relationships that I have in my life, right? Like, oh, well, maybe I need to spend less time with people and I got to be alone. And although I recognize that having alone time is good and I need that because honestly, guys, man, I just get like, I get to a point with other people being around other people all the time where I just don't have joy anymore.
I get a lot of joy from doing things alone and not feeling like I have to subscribe to somebody else's routine. It honestly, if I'm quite frank, no ocean pisses me off. being able to just do my own thing without somebody behind my, you know, back being like, well, why don't we do this, bro? No, let's not get Korean barbecue. Let's get hot pot. Like I can do it. And I agree. Like I'm, I have nothing, you know, against sacrificing for the good of the group sometimes, especially when it comes to food. I, I'm a human trash compactor. I'll eat anything. But in terms of that, I need my freedom and I've recognized that that plays into my relationship sometimes when I do feel like I'm being kind of boxed in I don't have the same freedom that I used to have when I was alone but again I think that also comes from how you're viewing the time together do you view
How can you preserve positive memories after a breakup or distance?
you being around your friends around your partner as something that you the both of you need to be entirely locked in all the time doing the same thing or spending time all the time together because I don't think that that's healthy I don't think so I actually think you need a balance and although yes you know it's it's wonderful when you two are inseparable and
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