you stand in your own way
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How does self-doubt keep you stuck on an emotional treadmill?
You're acting for other people and they can see right through it. Somebody knows when you're being genuine and when you're just trying to brown nose for something. Or if you're suffering. They know. It's not something that you can just kind of dance around. You need to change. I need to change. Man, I have been feeling like I have been on a treadmill. And I haven't moved at all. And it's because fear has kept me back. But more importantly, it's been... My own self, I've been getting in my own way and I've been living my life through a mindset of scarcity and through a mindset of what if I lose it all? I'm sure you know this mindset very well. The idea, well, if I leave this person that's treating me terribly in this relationship, what if I never find somebody?
Well, if I decide to move somewhere, what about all the friends that I already have? If I decide to take a chance on myself, what if it doesn't work out? The what ifs are ruining everything in your life. mine as well and I'll tell you something this fear of failure it's not something that goes away unless you start to oppose it unless you tell yourself you know what so what that I fail so what that it doesn't work out so what that I don't like it I'd rather know than not But it's so much easier in our minds to talk ourselves out of these things and to fall in this hole of complacency. And I just want to tell you, you don't need to stay there. I'm sorry if somebody made you think that you were never good enough.
And I'm sorry if your brain is making you think that you are some kind of loser and that you don't deserve to change and that people will look at you differently if you do. But I promise you that no one will. In fact, you will be noticed by the people that you want in your life when you do. What does this change look like? I think, for me right now, my judgment is clouded. It feels like I am just in the waves, kind of going around and I'm not able to have some kind of steady water. And I think what's helped me in the past is deliberately giving yourself time and isolation.
What are the 'what if' fears that stop people from changing their lives?
Picking a period of your life. Maybe it's a week. Maybe it's a month. For some of us, it's been even a year. I took a year of just being alone and listening to what my inner dialogue was telling me, my gut, my intuition. And it's funny because right now I kind of feel disconnected from my intuition because I have fallen in this complacency. And your intuition comes to life really when you challenge your beliefs, yourself, and you find other people that are on the same path as you. But that does not happen unless you do the work. The work looks like questioning what you want. Questioning what feels right and what you actually need. Because those are two different things. What might feel right is chilling out on the beach all day and not addressing the fact that you've gained some weight.
That you have not been good to yourself. That you've actually been very abusive. You've been distant from your partner and they're noticing. And maybe it's the fact that you've been avoiding a lot of the problems in your life because you don't think you can fix them when in reality you absolutely can. It takes time. And I think what has helped me a lot is deliberately taking that isolated time and doing me. When people say, I'm going to do me, what does that mean? It means taking care of yourself as if you were another person. It means going on walks, listening to good music, giving your brain kind of this empty canvas to paint on. And sometimes it won't want to paint, it will want to write and allowing yourself to write.
I did this a lot. I probably would journal every single day in a time period where I really didn't feel good about myself. And also, not taking things so seriously. You don't have your stuff together right now, right? You feel like you're behind the ball. You feel like everyone except you is excelling in life. No, they're not, bro. No, they're not. People are just acting on things. But right now, you can't think in action. You need to think about what is blocking you.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
How does self-doubt keep you stuck on an emotional treadmill?
0:00–2:22
2
What are the 'what if' fears that stop people from changing their lives?
2:22–11:26
3
How can isolation and deliberate alone time reconnect you to your intuition?
11:26–20:11
4
What practical 'do me' routines help rebuild self-care and creativity?
20:11–23:28