A Cliché With a Company Laptop

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Wanging On with Graham Norton and Maria McErlane 36 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 months ago
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What happened to Maria's dog during his operation?

Graham Norton 0:00
And then people will go, why did you break up? And go, uh, the ketchup.
Maria McErlane 0:02
Oh, garlic powder. That was a joke. I like them over 70.
Graham Norton 0:07
Have we talked about Maria's dog's bollocks enough now?

How does one navigate feelings for a younger colleague?

Unknown 0:13
I have them here.
Graham Norton 0:18
Joy Unleashed, you are here. Welcome along to this week's Wanging On with me, Graham Norton. That's Mary McCurlin. So-so advice, a go-go. How are you?
Maria McErlane 0:29
I'm all right, thank you, Graham.
Graham Norton 0:30
But now the little person in your life.
Maria McErlane 0:32
Oh yes, no, Dolly. Dolly's the dead one.
Graham Norton 0:34
Dolly's dead, yes. Dolly's very dead. We begin this week on a sad note.
Maria McErlane 0:41
I like to remember her occasionally.

Is it disrespectful if your partner constantly alters your cooking?

Graham Norton 0:43
Yes, it's what she would have wanted. I hope they're laughing about me dying on a podcast somewhere.
Maria McErlane 0:48
No Rafi this week because he is a bit poorly.
Graham Norton 0:53
He had his testicles removed. Oh, that often is quite owie.
Maria McErlane 0:56
Yeah, a little bit ouchy. And whenever I talk about it to men, everybody sort of crosses their legs and goes... Honestly, I do get that thing of my flesh hugging my bones.
Graham Norton 1:06
Do you? But now, tell me, because he's not... He's not a child.

What are the implications of online shopping habits?

Graham Norton 1:10
He's not the first flush of youth. He's three. So how come now?
Maria McErlane 1:13
Well, because I went to quite a sort of posh lunchtime thing in a field.
Graham Norton 1:18
With a vet?
Maria McErlane 1:18
No. I tell you what.
Graham Norton 1:21
I didn't do it. Rub some ice on them. Let's go.

How can one effectively communicate about relationship tensions?

Maria McErlane 1:25
I've got my scissors here. No, and I cut myself on, you know, a thistle or something. And it bled quite badly. And then Rafi just turned into a sort of vampire sex maniac. So it was lick, lick, lick of blood, shag, shag, shag of calf muscle, which is obviously there's nowhere for it to go. And the people around were embarrassed, as was I. And at one point, one of the ladies said, surely you can feel him doing that.
Graham Norton 1:53
What's wrong with posh people?
Maria McErlane 1:56
They don't like sex in a calf muscle.
Graham Norton 2:00
Well, I don't know. I've watched Rivals.

What advice do listeners have for managing crushes at work?

Maria McErlane 2:03
So I thought, okay, now it's time to go. And it's not gone terribly well. Oh, no. What happened?
Graham Norton 2:10
Complications.
Maria McErlane 2:11
Complications with his goulas. No, because he keeps licking. And I had a cone of shame, one of those kind of like bendy ones.
Graham Norton 2:19
I feel so bad. Because they walk.

How do personal experiences shape views on love and relationships?

Graham Norton 2:20
Well, actually, your dog's quite small. But when Bailey, my big labradoodle, when he had them, he couldn't get through doors. No. No, I know.
Maria McErlane 2:29
And he couldn't bend down to eat his food. And then he was looking at me going, why have you done this? And so then I tried one of those kind of inflatable ones, which was very cute.
Graham Norton 2:40
Oh, like you can sleep on Ryanair.
Maria McErlane 2:42
You can sleep on Ryanair, exactly. Or any other airline.

What humorous insights can be drawn from everyday dilemmas?

Maria McErlane 2:46
But you do want to sleep on Ryanair. A lot of drugs needed.
Graham Norton 2:50
They sell them. They do. No ice, but you can have drugs. Yeah.
Maria McErlane 2:54
And so he was laying down on that, but then he still managed to get to the area. So now full bodysuit.
Graham Norton 3:01
So those bodysuits, I was talking to someone at the weekend, and they had a Labrador, and no cone, they went straight for the bodysuit.
Maria McErlane 3:07
Yeah, I think that's a good idea, but mine was a little bit too small. So he was a bit like that. He was in a letter C. I know. Terrible. And then there's Velcro bits and a bit goes through the tail and obviously they can't wean it, but it's for nighttime. But somehow his little teeth managed to get the Velcro off round their wound and again, red wound. Oh, no.
Graham Norton 3:31
And how long? They heal really quickly, don't they?
Maria McErlane 3:35
Well, they're meant to if they stop licking them. So now stitches that are meant to disappear. I'm hoping it's not very good. It doesn't look good, though. The wound does not look good. And also, because they don't take the actual sack off, there's a little kind of... These are the details people wanted to hear. They do. They do. Yeah. A lot of people were listening to this going, but tell us more about the actual operation. They only take the sack off, and at the moment, it's like a little shriveled, necrotizing thing.
Graham Norton 4:01
It's like a bag for life.
Maria McErlane 4:02
It's a bag for life that's been in the drawer far too long, squashed up against a couple of co-op bags.
Graham Norton 4:08
But no, it does, it gradually goes up and up. Well, that's what I'm hoping. Except, of course, he's three, so it's an older bag.
Maria McErlane 4:15
Oh, my God.
Graham Norton 4:16
So his bag might hang around for longer.
Maria McErlane 4:18
Yes, the scrotal area is not pretty.

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