Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hello, friends, and welcome back to What's the Reality? It's your girl, AD. And y'all, I cannot wait to talk to today's guest. You will recognize him as one of the incredible experts from Married at First Sight. He's a relationship and marriage counselor who always keeps it real and brings so much wisdom to the show. Please help me welcome the amazing Pastor Cal to the podcast. Hey.
Hi, Pastor Cal. I'm so excited to talk to you.
Oh, it is my pleasure. My pleasure.
Thank you for joining. So how are you?
I'm great. You know, I'm great. You know, look, I have nothing to complain about because who wants to hear complaints?
Yeah.
Okay, so let's jump into things. So season 19 of Married at First Sight just aired. 19 seasons is insane. How did you first get involved with the show?
16 seasons ago. My wife and I had been doing marriage coaching and we had been doing conferences and online coaching and just a lot of stuff we've been doing practically our whole marriage. And we were actually contacted by a casting agent who wanted us to find a couple for one of their other shows. Kinetic Content is the producer, the production company.
They want us to find a couple for one of their other shows way back in the day called Seven Year Switch. So we found them a couple and they loved the couple. But while the couple was on the show, they kept talking about us. And well, they would say, you know, that's not what Pastor Cal said. That's not what Whitney said.
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Chapter 2: How did Pastor Cal get involved with Married at First Sight?
her very straightforward opinions and understanding of relationships and of marriage. It's actually quite awesome. So I'm really happy and blessed to have her as my co-conspirator in this thing.
That's beautiful. Wendy shared on social media that you two met and got married within six months. How did you know so quickly that she was the one?
you know what, like I said, you know, we've been, this wasn't our first rodeo. So I was like, you know, she rejected me. She probably didn't say this, but she rejected me first, okay? I stepped to her, you know, and I'm like, look, a mutual friend introduced us and I stepped to her and I was like, okay, okay, okay, this is good.
And so I didn't get her number at that time, but I contacted the friend and got her number later. Well, you know, we were talking and she said, well, look, I just want to be friends. You know, I mean, she'd only been divorced a couple of years and I'd been about eight or about nine years. But she said, we, you know, we could just be friends. And I said, friends? I'm not, don't use the F word.
I'm not looking for a friend. And so she said, well, look, that's all I have. And I told her this, and this is, I'm not making this up. I said, you know what your problem is? She reminds me now, that's the wrong thing to say when you get to know somebody. But she said, I said, you know what your problem is? You like me, but you don't want to admit it. And she was like, So that was it.
We hung up and didn't talk for weeks. And then I called her back and she said, hey, what happened to you, stranger?
Yeah.
I thought you kicked me to the curb. I said, wait a minute. I thought you just wanted to be friends. Friends don't talk every day. I said, oh, you do like me.
Gotcha.
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Chapter 3: What is the dynamic of Pastor Cal's relationship with his wife Wendy?
It's not just about being happy. Happiness is not the goal of marriage. It's just not. It's not. Happiness is a result of...
of whatever your goal is in marriage for my wife and I. Our goal is to make sure that other couples get the tools and resources necessary to better their lives and to become the people that they believe they could be and that they can influence not only their families, but society in general. And that is the goal of marriage. And then you get happy as you hit those goals. Yeah.
But when people say happiness is the goal, get out of here. The fact of the matter is, if happiness is the goal, then if I'm happy, you know, I love you. If I'm not happy, I don't love you. You know, if I'm happy, hey, we're good. Happiness cannot be measured. You know, it's not goals are measurable. Happiness is not. So all that's in here. We talk about communication.
We talk about, you know, we even talk about how to get out of a relationship that's just not working. which I believe is so important. And so I let people know that the book is not just for married people, even though the title might give you that idea. The book is for anyone who has any kind of interest in relationships, regardless of what the relationship is.
That is amazing. I would like a signed copy sent to my place, please. Thank you.
You got it. You got it.
I would love to. Absolutely. Yes. There's also a Marriage Ain't for Punks app. Can you walk us through that app?
Yeah, the marriage aid for punks app is one we launched in actually 2023. I think we launched the, we launched the, we started the company and then we launched the app. I think it was 24. It may have been, but the app is actually a companion to everything else that we're doing.
It's designed to speak to relationships at different levels, whether it's marriage, dating, or single and not in a relationship. In fact, when you log into the app, you have a choice to either join it as a single person, as a person in a relationship, or as a married person. So there are three different levels to the app.
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Chapter 4: How does faith influence Pastor Cal's approach to relationship counseling?
No. And we were like, what the heck? On the honeymoon, on the winter honeymoon. What? Did she go to jail? And we've done background checks. We've done background checks. We made sure there are no criminal records. but this happened after the background check.
Oh, my gosh.
So that was one that was very, very crazy. But some of the more positive things that have happened, I could name a bunch of those, but some of the more positive things that have happened are people like... Jeff D. and Shawnice in Boston. Just seeing them overcome their trials and their challenges to be such a beautiful, thriving family. I love them. I stay with them even now.
I mean, we stay in contact. I have so many grand show babies. Yeah. Brianna and Vinny. My wife and I had lunch with them a little while back this summer. And just those two babies they have. Aww. Just so, so beautiful. Oh, Anthony and Ashley in Chicago. Anthony is such an incredible human being. And their children are just so adorable. And so those are the things that are...
that I look at and I say, wow, this show is really, really, really cool. And it's really been such a benefit. And it's cool to kind of, you know, people see you out in public and they'll say, wow, you know, thank you so much for that. Or, you know, wow, I really enjoyed this. Someone told me last night, literally, they said, we really take notes. You're doing the show.
And that all makes a big difference. So, yeah, those are really great things that I can garner from it.
Let's now dive into the newest season of Married at First Sight. Season 19. Let's get into it. I really want to know, how do you feel about having a mother and daughter, Jalen and Belinda, on the show for the first time?
I thought, you know what, I was very nervous about it. I'll be very honest. It wasn't planned. I was actually interviewing Jalen in her home. And what we do often is we'll contact the parents or siblings. I said, who can I call? They say, well, call my mom. And I talked to her mom. While I was on the phone, I was like, wow, you know, she's like a replica of her daughter.
And so I said, are you single? Or something to that effect. And she said, yeah. I said, okay, fine. So Jane said, well, she ought to be on the... I said, okay, yeah, yeah. We joked about it. But when we got back to the war room, we found out that, you know, wait a minute, maybe we should consider her. because her qualifications and who she was as a person, she was just so stellar.
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Chapter 5: What are the principles outlined in Pastor Cal's book, Marriage Ain't for Punks?
Yeah, it's eight weeks, yeah, which is about three to four months if you include the prep work and stuff after. Yeah, it's about three, four months. Yeah.
Oh, man. I mean.
It's a lot.
That's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. Well, Pastor Cal, thank you so much for joining me today. But before we wrap, what's next for you? Is there anything in store for the future besides our book that I'm waiting for my signed copy?
Yeah. Well, one thing that's really, really interesting is that, you know, we've been in, I've been in for 16 seasons and Dr. Pepper and Dr. Pia and I, and what's happening right now is we're actually at a point where we're passing the torch to new experts now that we're on Peacock.
Oh, wow.
Yes, yes, yes. What does that mean? That means that I'm on to some bigger and better things. But I wish the new experts the best. And I think the show is going to be taking on a different turn. And I think that this is just a part of the evolution of the show. But we're passing the torch. And the new experts will be coming on. And look, they won't be me, but they will be.
I know that's right.
But we have some great things happening. My book Marriage Ain't for Punks is being optioned for a TV show. So we're doing, we're shopping that now for Marriage Ain't for Punks, the TV series. So that's gonna be exciting. So there's some great things happening. So my plan is to go from front to back of camera. So that's exciting.
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