Will and Rusty discuss Segways, the origins of Zoom Schwartz Profigliano, and what could possibly compel them to throw a chair at someone. They also reminisce about childhood time-out spots, invent the speaker shirt, and debate why Willy refuses to watch chick flicks. Plus, the boys draft cool ways to say everyday things, come up with new ways to say you're drunk, and welcome Emily Binder from AFP to talk about her trip to Aussieland. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod BUY OUR BUILDING DEPARTMENT SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. TRY EVERY MAN JACK TODAY https://www.everymanjack.com/ GET 20% OFF @CHUBBIES WITH THE CODE PLAY AT https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/play #chubbiespod USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 00:00 Intro 01:38 Weird Hash 07:04 Lauren’s KP 16:14 Housewarming Gifts 22:41 Concussions 29:29 Little Siblings 36:42 My Server Cheated on Me 42:57 Roadmap 44:41 Prank Call 53:49 Pitch Submissions 01:04:09 Pitches 01:13:43 Rube Goldberg Machines 01:19:07 Teach Me Something 01:24:51 This Guy Rocks 01:29:06 Drafts 01:31:45 Binder Blast 01:38:39 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What unusual things do Will and Rusty discuss?
As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape?
Play date. Episode 82. Episode 82 are... I feel like maybe Roddy White. Sure. Give it a shot, Lauren.
Show me Roddy White number. This would be a snipe.
82.
Didn't Aaron Hernandez wear 82 at one point? He was always 85. No, he was 81. Oh, this is devastating. I feel like a fucking idiot. Dion Branch, final guess. We can try again at the end if we want to. 83. God damn it.
Happy Monday.
Happy Monday, guys. It's the beginning of the week, and I think this is going to be one of your best weeks yet. Thank you. I was more talking to the playmates. I'm getting eaten alive in the comments for my lack of stance politically.
And I spent all morning thinking about it, and I'm sorry for that. Well, don't let them get to you. There's a lot of people out there. That doesn't mean anything. Correct. That was pretty much nonsense.
Well, I mean, you know how I feel. I'm not going to rehash an old horse.
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Chapter 2: What happened at Lauren's party?
Just the worst thing you could possibly say to someone who's already acting like a child is like a... You could get the duck.
What about the duck hash? That sounds good. No! What about the intestine soup? Why would I ever have that?
What's the predicament I put you on?
I'll tell you once Will had something to say. Oh, I was going to ask if you... I was thinking about Segways because you said Segway. Do you ever know guys that actually rode on the... Yeah, like at school? I had a neighbor that would cruise around in one of those.
Dude, I feel like I heard of at least five accidents that happened. Like people, they got in accidents on Segways growing up.
Oh, yeah. Do you know... Bad ones. This is awful and unrelated to Segways, but when I was growing up, there was a car accident on our street and a guy got like launched across our whole street. And I'm not, don't make that face at me. You can't say you got launched across the tree and like hit the tree in front of our house and died.
Isn't that fucking insane? I don't remember it.
I was like, how did you get launched?
He didn't have a seatbelt on.
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Chapter 3: What are the funniest childhood time-out stories?
And now they just don't... I think they assume like that guy's an adult. He would put it on. I was listening to an interview of a guy who was on the plane that flipped. And he was like, yeah, we all landed. Thank God we were all wearing our seatbelts and we were all just hanging upside down. Yeah, I was thinking about that. Like we might have fucking died.
Holy shit.
Yeah. Well...
Scattering down the aisle.
Everyone.
And Flight 10 is just shaking his head. You're Joe Cool until you fucking... I don't think I deliberately ever do it, but it's just like if I get up and go to the bathroom, sometimes I forget. And then I'll lay in and I'll be like, oh, I didn't fucking... Yeah. Or like sometimes... I remember one time recently the guy came by and checked.
He's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and looked at me and nodded. And I looked down and I was like, I'm on my own.
You're like, what? No. I had jeans and my jean jacket on. So I was like... Plausible deniability, there's a blue seatbelt in there somewhere.
How did nobody die? That's what I'm shocked about.
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Chapter 4: How do Will and Rusty define their favorite movie genres?
They built like some Seinfeld ass set behind Lauren.
Where it looks like if someone walks through that door, it's like a minute of applause before they get to deliver their line. So Lauren has a killer party.
Yeah, thank you for having us. Did you have a good time?
I had a great time. I feel kind of bad that we upset my neighbors, but that's like a one and done.
Lauren lived there and then Lauren threw like a high school party. Okay, there were only a handful of high school parties. I had so much fun.
We were playing King's Cup and one of Will's friends was just putting the card. You know, you put it under the tab. Yeah. Was just putting it in the existing pile and somehow had a really good knowledge of friction.
like you know if you like fold two phone books together you can't pull them apart yeah even though there's nothing holding it she would put it in there and so technically it wouldn't the card wouldn't fall out but it's not adding any pressure interesting to the tab and so i called her out on it who is this i think it might have been leah you can ask her she's cooked and uh and then unbeknownst to me the landlord had texted lauren like you know time to wrap it up yeah
Because apparently there was a baby blow. And Lauren just phrased it to me like, come on, let's go to the bars. Tell everyone we're going to the bars. And so I started going around being like, hey, all right, we're going to go to the bars. And it wasn't really making any... No one was really listening. Yeah, it wasn't sticking. And so Lauren was like, make an announcement. You did do it. Twice.
But so my thought was like, Lauren's going to be... Twice got everyone's attention and announced a bar that was closed. But Lauren... I thought Lauren was going to be standing behind me and it was going to be very clear that this guy... Like, Lauren, he's doing this on behalf of Lauren, the host of the party.
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Chapter 5: What are the craziest things that happened during their latest outings?
And then no one followed me. And so I was thinking about it the next day like... Because there were a handful of people I didn't know there that would have just been like, who's that guy that just announced the party was over and then left? You guys were like five seconds behind me, but that was the most embarrassed I've been in a while. Being in the elevator, just like fucking...
no one respects me the well the funniest part too is that the bar you announced literally was not open what bar did i say no i think it was open it was just dead it was closed oh it was actually close yeah um we we ubered there and then but i actually yeah the other yeah
No, I want summer.
Dude, Hanano was crazy that night. Someone got a chair thrown at his head. Oh, what? Did you guys see all this shit? It was when I went to go to the bathroom. You guys were sitting outside. There was this guy that was going.
There was. A guy with a backpack running around outside telling everyone that Elon Musk was going to shut down Hanano and telling the bouncers and coming up to people's tables and the bouncers were like, yo, yo, yo. He was being a total nuisance. Was he joking? No, he was off his rocker.
yeah but he looked like a normal guy which was like so he like when he walked up your table to the government yeah you give him the benefit of the doubt but like he wasn't clearly had something wrong with him yeah and he was like uh anyway and then i i went to the bathroom right just as we're waiting for the uber and in that time i guess someone fucking launched a chair at his head
and so he was like bleeding out and shit how did i miss and then and apparently one of my friends went up to the bouncer i was like should we call the police and they're like technically he hasn't committed a crime so there's nothing we could do and we're like no because he's bleeding out on the sidewalk oh like they were like should we call 9-1-1 meaning like to help the guy technically hasn't committed a crime well he's like oh
oh no not to arrest him like the guy I feel like launching a chair at someone is it sounds like he was like asking for it in the way that no one blamed the guy he's like come on yeah come on you won't you won't throw that chair at me what would compel you guys to throw a chair at someone the next day Elon Musk shut down I don't know so
I mean, hey, if it comes to that, me not being involved in politics is not going to be something you're going to worry about. I'm going to be leading the charge.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of Rube Goldberg machines?
What happened?
What happened is I walked up and I was like, should we get a picture? And then your girlfriend said, yeah, I got it. And I said, no, don't worry about it. I got it. And then she said, it's Jack's card. And I said, oh, okay, then you got it. It was one picture. That seems way more believable. It was one picture. It wasn't eight guys. I wasn't like, get on the top. Come on, guys.
It was me and your girlfriend.
It was you and the guy who threw the chair. Yeah. Next round's on me, guys. um and i went out and threw a chair at that guy she told me that story and then she saw me write it down in my notes and then she backpedaled i was like wait maybe i i might have she was like yeah jack i might have like pushed back like twice i was like all right his card
This podcast is brought to you by Triple. Just 15 to 20 calories.
I love triple. Me too, brother. I did. I partook.
Partook? Can I say that?
Canadian.
Partook in some tripling this weekend.
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Chapter 7: How can everyday phrases be reinvented?
Did you not see this, Will? So kind.
That's awesome, but that's also hysterical. Where do you get that?
I have no idea.
I like to think that he didn't have one lying around.
that's what i i think he did he it's so the text exchange between lauren and ryan after that is truly one of the funniest things i've ever read because she lauren texted me it was like get ryan's address but don't but don't tell him that it's me asking and i was like i can't text him he's gonna think i'm like drone striking him like if i'm like probably probably would go to drones what are your coordinates and he so what did you text him one
Well, I just I just said, hi, what's your address? And he goes, he wanted to know why. So I don't go over to his house and kill him. And I was like, don't worry about it. And then and then he eventually gave it to me. And I was like, yeah, I just want to like send or he goes, oh, you're thanking us for the mortar and pestle. I said, yeah.
now now now it's funnier than now that well i don't i don't i don't know how to recite it but um i just feel like that's like a thoughtful thing to do and like it's funny to be like oh i'm gonna send a card that is awesome that's so nice i did yeah and i probably would have gone my whole life without buying a mortar and pestle and now i what's the second one pestle mortar but you asked because i thought i was like i'm not gonna be the one guy who doesn't know what a pestle is mortar and pestle the pestle is the thing that you like wow
when we were at uh yeah i i you know i ordered you actually a bigger bowl right but i lost it i lost will and i actually chipped in on we bought all the ingredients for guacamole but we bought it way too early and it spoiled we ate them that's that's understandable and i bought you a hat and mia i bought you and mia one of those two-person hats for when you go out you guys go out together where it's connected so you never lose each other and you look great
Perfect.
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Chapter 8: What new inventions do they come up with during the episode?
you know it's like 11 feet long yeah my dad jerry-rigged like a a thing to hold my car seat on the back of his bike yeah when we were kids and it was like held together that's terrifying terrifying that's like the one thing you don't you don't want to jerry-rig you want to be you want to have professionals bolt that in and it was like held together by those um
like you know those like it's like a elastic rope with like two hooks on the end that like every dad has in the garage yeah it was a bungee cord yeah so it was like just held together by a bunch of bungee cords yep and he said we were biking to church when i was a kid and the front one fell off and so the the seat went back and And I was like inverted. But I couldn't speak English yet.
So I couldn't like... What were you speaking then? Taiwanese maybe. But he was like... There was no way for me to communicate what the problem was. And when you're biking, it's kind of hard to like...
Assess the situation so he just heard like boom boom boom boom and it was my head hitting the back tire I was wearing a helmet with my head hitting the back tire and he was like thankfully we were like around a corner so my mom Couldn't see it yet because he was like 50 yards in front of her He was like I got it back fixed by the time she came around the corner and we had to like pretend we were just waiting for her
Oh, that's so funny.
That explains so much. I know. One time... His head was hit on a bike tire ten times.
No, that makes sense.
As a little child. I mean, that is... It's all connected. He actually got, like...
got me to hit my head like a lot when i was a kid when i was got me to like he like egged you on no no like like it was like completely his fault multiple times there was one time we were snowmobiling and the plow had pushed all the snow into just like the perfect jump yeah in the world in our driveway and so we were coming back across the pond there's like a pond that when it freezes you can go out on there and like dick around
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