Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804

02 Apr 2025

1h 37m

49428 words

10 speakers

02 Apr 2025

Audio

Description

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @‌drinklightstrike. For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to https://3DayBlinds.com/YMH. A hole is a hole, partner! These are the famous words of the modern day Dirk Diggler, Mr. Tony Johns who drops in for this week's YMH! Before Tony calls in, Tom and Christine talk about their trip back from the UK, which included a visit to the Tower of London, where the kids were eager to see the torture devices. Tom also reveals he has evolved into a guy who shits on airplanes after turning 40 and then shares some stories about playing in Madison Square Garden, where Redman, Chrissy D, and Joey Diaz opened for him on an unforgettable night. They also talk CP’s desire for Bauhaus to open for her, Big Dad Energy, and shout out London’s food scene while criticizing Europe’s shitty public toilet situation. They then finally get to the opening clip featuring the phrase “Grippy Garfield”, which you'll have to watch and find out about on your own. They also discuss overweight flight attendants, the Baldwins being cringe once again, a schizo lady in a Canadian government conspiracy, the family cloth, and a hot chick farting for content. Oh, also “BREED” makes an appearance, and Tom is so excited to cover the latest Tony Johns drama, recalling all of his recent chaotic moments. Tony Johns next joins the show and talks about dealing with a bully coworker at Walmart, a scary landlord, and his OnlyFans ventures, including his film debut in the works featuring Alexis Fawx. Finally, Tom wraps the insane episode up by mocking a racist white lady’s wedding speech at an interracial marriage. Wooooo come on wit it! Your Mom’s House Ep. 804 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:52 - UK Trip, Big Dad Energy, & Plane Poopies 00:07:20 - Madison Square Garden 00:13:36 - European Public Toilets 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Grippy Garfield 00:23:26 - Fat Flight Attendants 00:29:59 - Those Damn Baldwins 00:37:50 - Schizo Evelyn Montage 00:40:18 - Clip: Family Cloth 00:41:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie 00:44:20 - The Life & Times Of Tony Johns 01:01:32 - Tony Johns Sets The Record Straight 01:09:12 - More Wild & Crazy Stories 01:16:47 - Making Dreams Come True 01:21:33 - Clip: Cone To The Face 01:22:09 - Clip: Dumb Push-ups 01:22:38 - Clip: Well Done Ribs 01:23:12 - Cool Guy Collabs 01:24:56 - Shitty Wedding Speech 01:33:38 - Wrap Up 01:35:30 - Closing Song "I Got A DUI, Baby" by grasskingdoms & Fart Simpson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Featured

Joey Diaz

Tom Segura

Unknown

Christina Pazsitzky

Unknown Speaker

Tony Johns

Tony Johns' Landlord

Plumber

Nick Mullen

Tommy

Transcription

Full Episode

0.069 - 22.103 Tom Segura

Hey everyone, we just announced my Fall 2025 Come Together Tour dates and you can get pre-sale tickets starting today at 10 a.m. local time in each city with the code word TOMMY. Go get your tickets now before the general on-sale this Friday at tomscrow.com slash tour. We added a whole bunch of cities including Allentown, PA, West Lafayette, Indiana, and Colorado Springs, and so many more.

22.363 - 24.104 Tom Segura

I'll see you guys out there. Thank you so much.

25.945 - 28.507 Unknown

Welcome. Welcome to your

35.987 - 38.769 Tom Segura

What's everybody?

38.849 - 40.85 Christina Pazsitzky

What's everybody?

41.11 - 44.032 Tom Segura

Dude, this is a- Governor. Governor, I'm so excited.

44.052 - 45.272 Christina Pazsitzky

Governor, I'm pumped. I'm ripped.

45.372 - 50.596 Tom Segura

Man, I've been like just on pins and needles, just excited to come in here and do this show.

50.616 - 54.838 Christina Pazsitzky

Me too, bro. So many things to go over. We've lived quite our lives in the last couple weeks.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804

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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804

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