Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805

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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura 1h 15m 8 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What was Tina's experience with her first colonoscopy?

Well, welcome. Welcome to your...

Why has Tom been embracing gross dad habits lately?

Unknown Speaker 0:33
Guten Tag.
Christina Pazsitzky 0:34
Guten Tag, willkommen.
Tom Segura 0:37
Welcome.
Christina Pazsitzky 0:37
That burp you made, did they get to hear that before we started rolling even?

What are some surprising facts about flatulence and how to reduce smelly farts?

Tom Segura 0:41
I don't know.
Christina Pazsitzky 0:41
That was mighty, mighty.

Who is RPC and why is his Instagram being rebooted?

Tom Segura 0:43
Oh, Niana just nodded.

What is the Tony Johns saga and what recent incidents happened?

Christina Pazsitzky 0:44
Oh, cool. You guys get to hear what I hear all the time.
Tom Segura 0:47
Yeah.
Christina Pazsitzky 0:48
We're going to talk about that a bit more today because you've been in special form. And I have a theory why, and I'm going to get into that. Oh, really? You have a theory? I do.
Tom Segura 0:55
I don't know about this theory.
Christina Pazsitzky 0:56
I do.
Tom Segura 0:57
Oh, cool, man.

What are some funny and weird moments involving spitting loogies and farting in front of family and staff?

Christina Pazsitzky 0:58
I do.
Tom Segura 0:59
What's everybody's theory? What's up, everybody? It's great to be here. We have so many cool updates to share with you. A lot of cool things going on. A lot of cool updates. Do you want to show off and say what you did yesterday?
Christina Pazsitzky 1:15
Oh, you're just going to get into it right now? Why not? This leads into my theory as to why you've been ramping up the burps, the farts, the hawking loogies. I had a colonoscopy yesterday for the first time in my life.
Unknown Speaker 1:28
Yeah.
Christina Pazsitzky 1:28
Hold the applause. And it's not for any reason. It was just a standard thing. So don't worry. And I think, and I'm just going to put this out here and see if this sounds like familiar. I think you're a little jellies because a, I got to watch all everything come out of me in a waterfall fashion. I got some cool farts and I got a propofol nap. Am I saying that right? Propofol.
Unknown Speaker 1:50
Yeah.
Christina Pazsitzky 1:52
And I think you're jealous and you're just showing off a little bit. You're peacocking a little. Does that sound familiar?
Tom Segura 1:58
Yeah, I don't think that's, I am insanely jealous that you got anesthesia.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:03
It's so good.
Tom Segura 2:05
Because it's my favorite thing and it's the only thing I haven't really reached out to somebody for. I'm trying to find a doctor that'll do it.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:12
Like Michael Jackson?
Tom Segura 2:13
Yeah, 100%. And by the way, I'll pay. I'll pay cash. I'll do what you want. I want you to come to the house. I want you to give me propofol.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:20
You have to sleep in a chamber, though. Didn't he sleep in a hyperbaric chamber?
Tom Segura 2:23
I don't think you have to sleep in one.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:25
He just puts the thing on your nose.
Tom Segura 2:27
Yeah, you just need a doctor to monitor you.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:29
All night. Dude, did MJ just have a doctor all night monitoring him?
Tom Segura 2:33
Well, that guy was there all the time. I don't know if he spent the night all the time.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:37
But that's crazy.
Tom Segura 2:38
His tolerance went way, way up because he was able to metabolize the propofol in increasing amounts so quickly that they had to keep ramping it up.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:47
It's wild because my brain was totally charred after it. Like I, yesterday I had brain zaps.
Tom Segura 2:53
Imagine you're the doctor that killed Michael Jackson.
Christina Pazsitzky 2:56
What happened to him? I'm sure he's in prison by now.
Tom Segura 2:58
He did have to serve some time, but I don't know what ultimately.
Christina Pazsitzky 3:01
See, this is the crazy thing about really rich celebrities is you can find anybody to do anything as long as they don't have morals.
Tom Segura 3:09
He was convicted of involuntary manslaughter, inadvertently overdosing with a powerful surgical anesthetic, propofol. He served just under two years of his original four-year sentence. Conrad Murray. Yeah.
Christina Pazsitzky 3:24
Yeah, dude, that's a powerful way to sleep. Honestly, that's a little too much. You're just dead. You're basically dead all night. There he is. Yeah, he looks good. He looks cool.
Tom Segura 3:34
Yeah, I wonder what he's doing these days. I don't know. Because I'll tell you this, if you can still get your hands on that propofol, I'll hire you.
Christina Pazsitzky 3:39
No.
Tom Segura 3:41
I'll hire you.
Christina Pazsitzky 3:41
But I do have something really relevant to the YMH world that I'd like to bring to the light.
Unknown Speaker 3:47
Yeah.
Christina Pazsitzky 3:47
So, by the way, colonoscopy, no biggie. I really thought it would be way worser than it was. Not a big deal. You drink this nasty shit that makes you basically waterfall dump.
Tom Segura 3:59
For hours.
Christina Pazsitzky 4:00
For hours. Fine. It doesn't hurt.

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