Alison Fagan

speaker

593 appearances 3 recordings 1 series first heard May 2026 last heard 19 Jul

Alison Fagan’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 2.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

Alive and Kicking with Clare McKenna · Alive & Kicking Full Episode 19/7/26 · 19 Jul 2026 podcast

So I think asking, is this a good time?

You know, can we sit down, can we talk?

When might be a good time?

Can we go for a walk?

So pick in your moment, not in a pinch point when you're cooking dinner and the kids are doing their homework and uh either your husband or your wife are just in from their long day.

I think when you start to learn what works for the other person and what or what sets them off, you can start to change your type.

Your type is not a fixed thing.

Okay.

So yes, we have go to, we have default patterns, absolutely, but that doesn't mean that they can't be

Uh, relearned and it requires uh a thing called relational mindfulness, which probably sounds like a bit of psycho babble, but really it requires you to slow down and to become curious about the other person's perspective rather than being so fixed to your own narrative.

So if you choose the correct time to have the conversation, and even though you might be considered a bit of a hothead and your other half is considered the more silent type.

I think it's all to do with your nervous system.

And so if you approach the conflict from an empathic way, rather than as I say, the blame and the shame, the person maybe who is more prone to being hot headed, isn't up in the nervous system, isn't in fight or flight, and isn't ready to defend, they're ready to listen.

And the person who is more the silent type, maybe it can have the space to speak, to think.

Maybe in the cut and thrust of an argument they shut down, they can't formulate their thoughts, and so they're accused of maybe stonewalling or withdrawing or not communicating or being cold.

But sometimes it's to do and fact very often, it's to do with your nervous system and how you respond in conflict.

And so responding in fight and flight um is never gonna get you very far.

I mean, there is an old saying, you can be right or you can be married.

And so very often, what would you rather be?

Do you want to continue the fight, continue your stance, or do you want to reconcile and repair and make things good again?

Showing 281–300 of 593 · page 15 of 30