Anna Runkle
speaker
240 appearances
7 recordings
2 series
first heard May 2025
last heard 19 Nov
Anna Runkle’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 6 in all, peaking in Nov 2025 with 5.
Appearances
But when I started spending time with people again, I was very salty. I was often stumbling over my words. I was having trouble, like, reading their emotions. I got rusty very quickly. And I wasn't sure I liked them. And then I wanted to sort of crawl back in my hole. It's a vicious cycle. Yeah, like, we're meant to be around each other. And I don't think it's all, like, on the surface either.
I think our nervous systems talk to each other. I'm sort of of the school that some people are putting out there that...
our nervous there's one big nervous system and we're we're we're nodes in it and so we feel each other so you can and this shows up in the most practical ways like let's say somebody says um gosh it feels like you're kind of crushing on me and i'm uncomfortable and they go oh no no no no i'm not i just want to be friends no that's not what i want no i have a girlfriend i just but you feel it your nervous system feels their nervous system and you know what you feel
So if you're doing drugs or you're depressed or you're or you've just, you know, this happens to kids who are who have parents who are not good parents is you get like your perception gets completely switched off. This is a big part of it. They're like, no, I'm not drunk. No, it is safe to get in the car. Get in. Stop complaining.
Agency. I was going to say, what do you think that is?
If it's my fault, I can change it.
I know the name, but no.
Yeah, you're exactly right. They swing too far in that direction. And it is a way that you can hold on to a relationship where you're not wanted. I hear this all the time. My boyfriend is abusive, but he had trauma as a kid, so I know I can't leave him. And I'm like, how do you figure? You know, how do you figure? But that's what happens.
Our minds, we're programmed to look for ways we can make it work. And I think it's hijacking our parenting instinct and, you know, some of our highest motives are hijacked and being used for ill purposes.
I feel like everything is like that. I mean, my experience as a person is that everybody has good and bad. Everybody's kind of capable of the same bad as the worst people. But we countervail it with efforts to do better things and to be virtuous. And so... I kind of think I'm not of the school that everybody's a narcissist. That word is like so overused. There is such a thing.
And for the stuff I teach, it's more like the problem with narcissism is our own traits that are kind of narcissistic, where we get too self-centered. But I think everything is serving a purpose, and it might not be a good purpose anymore. But I think people who actually are narcissists may be necessary for society. That's my theory. Somebody has to be Teflon.
You know, somebody somebody has to just like not care that everybody hates them or that they're going to get killed in the battle. They just have to be like, but I'm the greatest. And we need those people. And so maybe maybe we're misunderstanding. I think the idea. As a kid who grew up really poor, and I grew up in a family that was very educated, but neglectful.
And so my friends were sort of all on the wrong side of the tracks. And it took me a long time to sort of find my place. And I ended up getting, you know, well-educated. And I do have friends of all types. That's a happy thing about my life.
but um it was very stigmatizing and there were a lot of things i had no idea how to do and that's one of that's one of the topics that i'm also developing i do content now but just like there needs to be an etiquette book for people who were raised feral we don't know we don't know what it's like how to be a human dot doc how to be a human yeah yeah so i have a i have a
Nobody, you know, everybody just assumes, you know, and you know how to do this. And so a lot of information is like, like in terms of like, how should women handle their sex lives? And they, I remember when I was like, I don't know, 19 or something.
And in Cosmo magazine, they were like, when you've just had a one night stand with a guy, get up, don't dwell on him, get up, brush your teeth, do some sit-ups. And then go. And I was like, okay, got it. Act like this. It was just like, it was bullshit. And it was like bad advice or another thing. I had to learn from stuff like TV. There was this commercial for the perfume Anjali.
Turns out it's totally resistible and weird and for them and uncomfortable.
I think you could call it a person addiction, but really I think it's an addiction to hope. Hope is the dope. It's hope. In theory, they want to be with the person, but the thing that gives the high is cresting over from devastation to hope again.
Or it's like people who want to suffocate when they're having sex or something. You want to get that close to death and then, ah. It's like that. It's a really unhealthy and toxic high. And it leads to bad things. It makes people alone. And so very few people are actually willing to do what it takes to stop it. A lot of people ask me. Few follow through. But you got to stop talking about it.
You got to stop contact. The talking about it and thinking about it, like a lot of therapists will totally like spend all the time talking about that.
Showing 161–180 of 240 · page 9 of 12
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