Bill Burr

And as I fucking go there, all of a sudden, this is all this other traffic going the other direction. And I and this is the first time since I started meditating that I had an absolute meltdown. I literally screamed as loud as I possibly could. Fuck you, L.A. Every fucking cock sucking motherfucking cunt fucking every word you could possibly think.

And then I'm fucking just stuck in even worse traffic going the other way to go one fucking exit up to come back around. And all I'm thinking is where the fuck I would be if I just took the pain to begin with and just stayed in that traffic jam. I'd be creeping forward and whatever. Why didn't I just call the place and say I was going to be a little late? Oh, you know what, Bill?

And then I'm fucking just stuck in even worse traffic going the other way to go one fucking exit up to come back around. And all I'm thinking is where the fuck I would be if I just took the pain to begin with and just stayed in that traffic jam. I'd be creeping forward and whatever. Why didn't I just call the place and say I was going to be a little late? Oh, you know what, Bill?

And then I'm fucking just stuck in even worse traffic going the other way to go one fucking exit up to come back around. And all I'm thinking is where the fuck I would be if I just took the pain to begin with and just stayed in that traffic jam. I'd be creeping forward and whatever. Why didn't I just call the place and say I was going to be a little late? Oh, you know what, Bill?

Because that would have been the chill thing to do, right? I didn't. So it turns out, I look up, I'm like, what the, this is like, it's Saturday at noon. How is there five o'clock in the afternoon on Friday traffic? I am like literally beside myself. Just saying every curse I possibly can. And I look up and there's two little flashers going on and it's tow truck flashers, right?

Because that would have been the chill thing to do, right? I didn't. So it turns out, I look up, I'm like, what the, this is like, it's Saturday at noon. How is there five o'clock in the afternoon on Friday traffic? I am like literally beside myself. Just saying every curse I possibly can. And I look up and there's two little flashers going on and it's tow truck flashers, right?

Because that would have been the chill thing to do, right? I didn't. So it turns out, I look up, I'm like, what the, this is like, it's Saturday at noon. How is there five o'clock in the afternoon on Friday traffic? I am like literally beside myself. Just saying every curse I possibly can. And I look up and there's two little flashers going on and it's tow truck flashers, right?

It's right fucking there.

It's right fucking there.

It's right fucking there.

Right? And I can't get to it. So I'm like, you fucking, fucking rubberneck and piece. What's going to be changing a tire? It's going to be a fender bender and I'm losing my shit. Now, if I was a fucking dictator, I would deliberately have a car on the side of the road changing a tire. Whoever slowed down and looked at it would be eliminated, would be removed from society.

Right? And I can't get to it. So I'm like, you fucking, fucking rubberneck and piece. What's going to be changing a tire? It's going to be a fender bender and I'm losing my shit. Now, if I was a fucking dictator, I would deliberately have a car on the side of the road changing a tire. Whoever slowed down and looked at it would be eliminated, would be removed from society.

Right? And I can't get to it. So I'm like, you fucking, fucking rubberneck and piece. What's going to be changing a tire? It's going to be a fender bender and I'm losing my shit. Now, if I was a fucking dictator, I would deliberately have a car on the side of the road changing a tire. Whoever slowed down and looked at it would be eliminated, would be removed from society.

fed to the fucking pigs, whatever the hell, whatever that fat fucking North Korea does to his goddamn relatives, feeds them to dogs. That's what I would do. I was actually, I was so fucking mad. I was like, you know, that fat fucking North Korea, he's actually making sense to me. You know? So I get all the way up. I should be careful, man. He might send somebody over here to mist me.

fed to the fucking pigs, whatever the hell, whatever that fat fucking North Korea does to his goddamn relatives, feeds them to dogs. That's what I would do. I was actually, I was so fucking mad. I was like, you know, that fat fucking North Korea, he's actually making sense to me. You know? So I get all the way up. I should be careful, man. He might send somebody over here to mist me.

fed to the fucking pigs, whatever the hell, whatever that fat fucking North Korea does to his goddamn relatives, feeds them to dogs. That's what I would do. I was actually, I was so fucking mad. I was like, you know, that fat fucking North Korea, he's actually making sense to me. You know? So I get all the way up. I should be careful, man. He might send somebody over here to mist me.

Like he did to his other, you know, he set up those two fucking whores over there, right? To take out his fucking stepbrother. So anyways, I get all the way up to the traffic jam. And of course, it's a little fender bender. There's people standing there. There's nothing going on. But I'm finally going to get past it. Finally going to get off the exit.

Like he did to his other, you know, he set up those two fucking whores over there, right? To take out his fucking stepbrother. So anyways, I get all the way up to the traffic jam. And of course, it's a little fender bender. There's people standing there. There's nothing going on. But I'm finally going to get past it. Finally going to get off the exit.

Like he did to his other, you know, he set up those two fucking whores over there, right? To take out his fucking stepbrother. So anyways, I get all the way up to the traffic jam. And of course, it's a little fender bender. There's people standing there. There's nothing going on. But I'm finally going to get past it. Finally going to get off the exit.

Come around and fucking run through the gears and fucking go down the other side. And what do I see on the other side of the road? Where it was all nice and clear. Now there's major traffic. Because the dumb cunts. On the other side of the highway. Are slowing down to look at the shit. On my side of the highway. So now I got to sit through it fucking twice. And something told me.