Cam Patterson
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
And sometimes he cooks food so smelly I have to take a shit with the door open.
And if they do get hit, there's less mess to clean up.
I hate it when ugly people act like them dating is the same thing as when hot people date like me.
It's like the difference between the NFL and Major League Soccer.
It's like, yeah, you're playing on the same field, but no one wants to see what you're doing.
I don't even know where I came up with that shit.
I think it was from a long time ago and I looked through my notes and I was like, oh shit, yeah.
I could do that, you know, that joke on Kill Teddy.
I used her bed as a thing, so now everyone thinks that's my bed.
They're commenting about how poor I am.
Like, yeah, that's what the Whippet Queen would say.
And she's like, why'd you have to bring it up?
I have to go get Whippets now.