Chantelle Otten

speaker

881 appearances 8 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2018 last heard Sep 2021

Chantelle Otten’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Should you have sex on the first date? · 20 Apr 2020 podcast

If you're feeling like, oh, there's something that's just a little bit off or that I want to, you know, that I'm just hesitating on, you can't turn a yes, sorry, a no into a yes, because it's always going to come back to a no.

So when you're feeling that,

That's when I say, you know what, just hold off a little bit because that vulnerability can wait a little bit more until you suss out what this person is like and how you connect with them.

feeling?

I think it's each really, and it really depends on the experience of the individual.

There's no reason why you can't

have sex with someone that is consensual and fun and pleasurable on the first date.

I think it's really good to try out what your erotic life is going to be like with someone, because if the sex is good, your body is going to feel good in it and it's going to produce those bonding hormones and the happiness hormones.

And I think you also don't want to go into a relationship where you have a really great connection, like a friendly connection with someone, but

the eroticism isn't going to be quite what you need to meet your needs.

So no, I don't think that there's anything wrong with having sex on the first date.

I think it's really important to figure out what you're both like erotically.

But in saying that, there's also no problem with waiting.

And if someone is off you after the first date, then they're probably not the right person for you.

I really think that it's important to go in as your authentic self.

And if you're worried about something or if you have

intentions that you're worried the other person isn't on board with and you have to communicate that.

Otherwise, the only thing you can regret is that you didn't say that and you're going to be angry with yourself.

So I would prefer to say exactly how I feel, lay my feelings there on the table, and it doesn't have to be deep.

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