Chantelle Otten
speaker
881 appearances
8 recordings
1 series
first heard Jul 2018
last heard Sep 2021
Chantelle Otten’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And probably write down the pros and cons.
And then I guess how you want to structure it for yourself, how you're going to be able to have the conversation.
I often get people to write down how they're going to introduce the conversation and some dot points as to why and how it would look like for them so that they can, I guess, open up that storyline with their casual partner or I guess with the people that they're trying to casually date as well.
I think that there can be a difference because, I mean, if you want to have a casual relationship because you want companionship or maybe you want someone...
to go to you on dates, or maybe it doesn't have to be about sex at that time.
Maybe it can be included, but maybe you're just going through a period that you really want a close friend that you can be more intimate with, maybe hugging, maybe affection, maybe just hanging out one-on-one and doing things that couples would do is a good way to also look at casual relationships, not just a sexual interaction or partnership.
Totally, totally.
And I think that's a fine line.
And I think that's when you need to really be honest with yourself and think.
how are my feelings going with this and check in with the person that you're casually dating and saying how are you feeling about this as well because you might not be getting I guess more affectionate feelings or stronger feelings for that person but maybe they will be and I think you really need to be kind to each other if this is the arrangement that you're having and
and look at it as as an arrangement in a way you know this is what we're doing this is how it looks like if feelings come up i really want you to let me know so that we can you know be a team and manage it together and see how how we go with this and what we want to do
to me that doesn't sound like a casual relationship
like
relationship that um you are hoping would go somewhere or maybe you entered into it going you know what i have more romantic feelings for this person or i really like them and i do hope that it goes somewhere i think if we need to look at casual relationships we really need to be clear that we are up for casually dating meaning that
if it goes nowhere then that is also okay because that's the arrangement that i want to have at this time and of course there's also no problem with saying i am hoping that it's going to go further when you enter into a relationship i'm looking for something that will be more romantic or be you know involving stronger feelings and a really nice connection a beautiful connection with someone
yeah i was also just going to say that you also have the power there in that situation when in any relationship remember that it's it's literally 50 50 you're both allowed to say this is how i feel and this is where i wanted to go and if
If someone is not in the right space or time for you, it's okay for you to go, you know what, that's really painful and I think I need to reassess or protect myself at this time or think about how I'm going to manage this because it's not exactly what I want right now.
I would rather things go further.
Yeah,
I wish I had the strength to do that.
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