Christopher Titus

Some of these guys come from privilege. I mean, you know, look, Dr. Drew comes from privilege. But that privilege helped him go to a good college. And that privilege helped him go to med school. And then that privilege educated him. And that privilege taught him humanity. He has my vote. Yes, and that privilege then helps him help other people. I don't want to hold that privilege against Dr. Drew.

I come from a shitty family. Dr. Drew comes from a good family who was very interested in education. His dad's a doctor, so on and so forth. Should we punish Dr. Drew because his dad made money and could afford to go to college? Well, that's kind of how it works sometimes.

I know. I'm not saying he's good because he went to college or because his dad was rich. It's sort of neither here nor there. You will judge him based on his own merits. I mean, maybe your parents are rich or maybe they're poor. Let's just...

Let's just peel your onion and figure it out. Why do we have to, oh, that guy's dead, he's rich. We're so fucking nuts with this money thing these days. Look, some people have money, some people don't. I have bad news for you all sitting down. The people with the money, usually smarter than the people that don't. Oh, how can he, and not only are they smarter, they work harder. Well, people also hate smart people.

They hate smart people that say they're smart. Yes, they're usually smarter, they usually work harder, and they usually have a plan. Now, sometimes it's daddy's money, but that's not the case nine times out of ten. Maybe it is two times out of ten, but I'd say the lion's share, and by the way, you can squander daddy's money. It's pretty easy to squander daddy's money.

Most of the time the people I know who are successful busted their fucking ass to get there. And now they have to put on the flip flops and the Mavericks shirt and the cargo shorts and pretend like they didn't do a thing. And pretend like they're just like everyone else. And pretend like they're poor because they don't want to get shit on by envious people. Well fuck you.

These people work hard, and I don't know what these candidates do. All I know is everyone's scared shitless to act like they have money now, and I ain't digging that. This country was built on people wanting to make money.

You go, what? Built on? Well, not built on wanting to stuff your mattress with cash. It was built on wanting to have your business go from 10 employees to 20 employees. And your franchise to go from 10 Taco Bells to 20 Taco Bells to 50 Taco Bells. That's what this...

whole country is built on. And if you take a look at a lot of other countries, and especially if you take a look at anything that has to do with communism or socialism, that's one big flat line. Our country is one big... He started with one food cart. He had one green grocer, one apple cart, and then he turned that into one of the biggest green grossing outlets, whatever, in North America. That's what everything... She had one hot dog and one stick.

One hot dog and one stick and one plunger to make lemonade. One little lemon wedge earring. One orange. No Julius!

It all started with this person had one of these things, and then it never started with, well, the guy came over from his native wherever on a boat with tons of money and a whole bunch of franchises under his belt. Now, it always started with one, and then they built. So, was it to try to get rich? No.

I don't know. Was it to move forward and you got rich along the way? I don't know. It's a chicken or the egg kind of thing. I don't know if these people are thinking I want to get rich or they're thinking I want to be successful and I want to have more franchises this year than I had the year before.

I think the problem might be people who were born into wealth versus people who gained their wealth and worked for their wealth. You know what I mean? The amount of people that are born into it is much smaller than what we portray as a society. Yeah, we look at Paris Hilton and go, oh, okay, yeah, her hair with a little teacup poodle showing up on all the red carpets and everything. But the lion's share of the successful success stories in this country are people busting their hump. And...

I think it's all about... Well, first off, why is it... I mean, there are people... Look, I was born into nothing and I never learned a fucking thing about money. It was never discussed. Why should I know about money? We didn't have any. It'd be like studying chinchillas. We didn't own a chinchilla. Why should I be a chinchilla expert? So there are two types of born into money. There's...

You know, the Hilton sisters. And then there's what a lot of other people do, which is they take their sons, they bring them up, they teach them whatever it is. I mean, you know, say what you want about Donald Trump. His dad was a hard driving real estate guy who got him, you know, sent him to business school. And he did real estate in, I don't know, Long Island or something. And Trump went into Manhattan to do real estate. And yeah, his dad taught him, you know, you're going to have to.

No, his dad taught him real estate, and his dad taught him to bust his ass, and he went off and became more successful than that. So, is it bad that Trump's dad...

had real estate or knew real estate or taught him about money or taught him about business or I don't know. I mean, should we hate Trump because he was born to a guy who was hardworking and started a business? Not when there are so many other good reasons. It's not like he sits around and just does coke all day and puts on a disco ball and does a roller boogie dance. He fuckies outbust his ass. I mean, you can say whatever you want about him.

But his dad having money doesn't make him not know about money. It makes him know more about money.

He look awfully spry. He looks like he's on one foot and does a heel. He's falling. He's not. I think he's like that guy from the Magic Mountain commercial from a few years ago. Oh, yeah. With the Swifty Lazar glasses. He used to freak me out.

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