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Christopher Titus

đŸ‘€ Speaker
359 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I'm like, DVDs? Let me see what the DVDs are. And I said, what are they of? And she's like, in America we have so many, I think we have too many rights. Everybody's rights are important. We've become this big... Well, everyone's feelings are important. Yes, yeah, we've pied off into such little asshole groups. Well, this notion of I felt threatened, like based on what? You know, think about how many times I felt threatened. When I was a kid...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I felt threatened never came up. I was hit with a flathead shovel, came up. I was attacked with a crowbar, that came up. But I felt threatened. You feeling, the way you felt is neither here nor there. And it's sort of like, it's like a quarterback saying, I felt like I was going to get speared by that linebacker. Yeah, but if he never left his feet, then your ribs ain't cracked. Like...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

TÀmÀ koko asia, minun tunteet, tÀssÀ kuinka tunnen, tÀssÀ kuinka hÀn teki minua tuntelemaan, tÀssÀ kuinka hÀn teki minua tuntelemaan. TÀmÀ on se, mitÀ kaikki tekevÀt. TÀmÀ on kaikki siitÀ, miten tunteet tuntevat ja miten joku tekee sinut tuntelemaan. Tunnen, ettÀ olin vahvistunut, tunnen, ettÀ olin vahvistunut. PÀÀstÀ pysyÀ ja menetÀ veneen. Se ei ole edes niin erityistÀ. Minun ongelmani on alkanut. Minun ongelmani on hieman ulos.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Who cares? Then you're weak. There's something wrong with you. We need to call the herd sometime. We've decided that everyone who felt bad for five minutes needs to be compensated or apologized to. Just shut the fuck up and die already. That's all I'm saying. Hulk Hogan's ex, Linda. You were very smoothly going. I felt threatened by his...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

YhteistyössÀ. YhteistyössÀ.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Ja he sanovat, ettÀ pysÀytÀmme kaikki asiat, eikÀ sinÀ pysty takaisin, kun he laittavat ne pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn pysyvÀÀn.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Brutus the Barber Beefcake, yeah. Oh, I just know him as Brutus Beefcake. My favorite wrestler growing up, by the way. He had the shears. He would shear your hair off. She also accused the wrestler of being prone to violent, threatening outbursts during their marriage. Yeah, that's ironic. That you would like a barber. That's not that Hulkster I know. Did he hit her with a folding chair? Yeah, that'd be great.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

TÀmÀ ei ole legaalia. HÀn ehkÀ teki yhden nÀkökulman, jossa hÀn sanoi, ettÀ tÀmÀ mies on vahvistanut minua. Hetkenek 4. Viimeisen 20 vuoden aikana. JÀtÀ sen takaisin. JÀtin sen 5 vuoden aikana. JÀtin sen 5 vuoden aikana. JÀtin sen 5 vuoden aikana.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

YmmÀrrÀn paljon elÀmÀÀ, mutta kun katsoin sinua ja sanoin, ettÀ kyllÀ hÀn oli siellÀ. HÀn oli sellainen, joka antoi minulle rannan. MitÀ? Ei. SitÀ en koskaan pystynyt tekemÀÀn.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Miss Titus, I'm listening to him right now. And I realized I had someone's nuts in a vice. I wasn't sure whose. It was like that Vin Diesel movie where he had hair. Exactly. What was the name of that one? I didn't see that one, but I liked him. Boiler Room? He played an attorney in one...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

HÀn soitti asiantuntijaa, jolla oli rauha. Kaksi vuotta sitten. Se oli hyvin hÀnen karjansa. En muista nimensÀ. Minusta se oli kutsuttu asiantuntijan kanssa rauhassa. HyvÀ puhuttu ruumiin. Ei ollut ruumi. SiinÀ hÀn on.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

HÀn nÀyttÀÀ niin erilaiselta. HÀn nÀyttÀÀ niin erilaiselta. HÀn nÀyttÀÀ niin erilaiselta. HÀn nÀyttÀÀ niin erilaiselta. HÀn nÀyttÀÀ niin erilaiselta. HÀn nÀyttÀÀ niin erilaiselta.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

TÀmÀ oli se. Se oli kiva. Se oli tyypillinen. Olet tekemÀssÀ Pop Warner-versiota hÀnen Superbowlistaan rahoitukseen. Olen tietenkin tekemÀssÀ Kiwi-versiota. Se on edelleen smarts, mutta se, mitÀ hÀn on tekemÀssÀ... Ja tiedÀt, ettÀ hÀn on vihreÀ. HÀn on vihreÀ. HÀn on kuin optomomissa. KyllÀ, hÀn on. MinkÀlaista kulttuuripuolella olet menossa?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Jeesus Kristi. Luuletko? TÀmÀn ja reggaetonin vÀlillÀ, he yrittÀvÀt... TiedÀt, miten Occupy Wall Streetin ihmiset huolehtivat, ettÀ poliitit heittivÀt heitÀ sonic-kanonilla, joka auttaa heitÀ lÀhtemÀÀn? Luulen, ettÀ me saamme slow sonic-kanonista meksikÀisille.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I think the ranchera music and the reggaeton music, I think it's all part of a drive whitey to Seattle movement, because this fucking, this music hurts my skin. Like, you know, you get up in the morning, just all the fucking Latin music. Anytime you can put a fast-paced music and have a tuba in it, some of that brass, it literally melts part of your brain. Like, literally, maybe your thing can be dealt with. I didn't even think about that. Maybe we can melt the tumor that you got. Oh, with tuba music? Yeah, reggaeton will melt.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Targeted tubotherapy. Targeted tubotherapy might work on you. Hey, look, you've tried everything else, right? Let's go for it. You can remove tattoos with reggaeton. You just have to focus it. This is my first time going to Mexico for experimental drugs.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

No, katsokaa, tÀssÀ me ollaan. Bandit ovat suurin piirtein tunnetuja Rancherasiin, mutta he myös soittavat moderneista meksikÀistÀ poppiaa. Ei todennÀköisesti ole juutalainen. On tiettyjÀ kulttuureja, Middle Easternin kulttuureja, meksikÀisiÀ kulttuureja. Puhutaan vain musiikkia. Puhutaan vain siitÀ. Te olette pysÀhtyneet sen rohkeasti. Se on niin pysÀhtynyt. Oletko sinÀ koskaan kÀynyt yhdellÀ niistÀ thai-yöpöytöistÀ, joissa he pysÀhtyvÀt soittamaan thai-musiikkia? Tai oletko sinÀ kÀynyt yhdellÀ niistÀ fucking Middle Easternin kulttuureista, joissa...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

They insist on playing that. Knock it off. The food is enough for a journey to another land. Exactly. We got it. Put some skinnered in here. We'll eat your Thai cuisine. It'll be cool. Just make it nice. Play Nebraska. Are you happy that these tubas are walking out?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

No ensimmÀisenÀ, pysÀhtymÀllÀ tuban, en ole varma kuinka pysÀhtyvÀ tukisi on, on vaikea mennÀ ulos tuban kanssa. Seuraavasti vÀhemmÀn pysÀhtyviÀ instrumentteja kuten piccoloja ja oboja on helposti pysÀhtyviÀ, mutta eikÀ kukaan halua soittaa niitÀ, koska whitey ei ole pysÀhtyvÀ piccoloilla. MielestÀni pysÀhtyy aina pysÀhtyviÀ lapsille, joten on jotain pysÀhtyviÀ, jotka oppivat soittamaan tuban, mikÀ on pysÀhtyviin mahdollisuuden instrumenttiin. Ei sanota pysÀhtyviÀ, vaan tyhjÀÀ.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

TÀmÀ on se, mitÀ ajattelin. Tuba Chop Shop? TÀmÀ on se, mitÀ ajattelin. TÀmÀ on se, mitÀ ajattelin.