Claire Wasserman

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537 appearances 5 recordings 1 series first heard Jan 2025 last heard Jan 2025

Claire Wasserman’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin · How to Get the Raise You Deserve with Claire Wasserman · 27 Jan 2025 podcast

And it was like, that's where the women were doing business. I have goosebumps to this day because it was the first time in my life that I experienced the power of what it can be like when you are around supportive women. This was probably 10 years ago at this point. I Googled women and the wage gap and I was blown away by what I found. That was the beginning of, you know, the rest is history.

But sort of my little awakening, my aha moment, for whatever reason, it was that sexist comment. So thank you to that man.

Oh, yeah. Again, I'd had all of these other kinds of sexist experiences before. but that I had never allowed myself to say, that is wrong. For whatever reason, I just wanted to keep moving fast. Well, all right, well, screw that guy. Let me find a different person. Or I would internalize it. You know, it must have been because my dress was too short or I was too, you know, friendly.

I mean, I'd even been told that by one guy was, well, why did you give me your business card? You know, if you didn't want to be kissed. And I'm glad that I took a moment to say, hold on. What is happening here? And is it happening to other people? And most importantly, what can we do about this? And where do we start? Where do we start?

No, I was a baby. I was this was just me being struck by the energy of all of these women and I think it was after I went home and I Googled women in the workplace and the wage gap.

And I went down this sort of research rabbit hole and I started to talk to a friend of mine who was a freelance art director, very talented, who admitted to me that she was not charging as much as her male counterparts. So for her wage gap, it was self-inflicted and she didn't know how much to be paid. So there was a lack of information, but this is the part I found most interesting.

Why did she default to the lower amount? Because she knew that it was less. She was aware, but she didn't know how to bring herself to ask for more. That was the real aha moment of what is the first step to closing inequities in our life? Let's talk about it. And specifically money, because that's the vehicle to power. And it's also so much more than just money.

I mean, it's, you know, I mean, literally it's everything. It's just a portal.

I grew up in an avoidance mindset. Oh, yeah, we never talked about money. But I have an interesting memory that I wrote about when I went and I got a master's certificate in behavioral finance and financial psychology. And this memory was the first time I was ever paid. It was $20. And I was thinking about all the things I was going to buy. And we were walking down the street.

This was in New York. And I was probably six. Yeah, I was six years old. I'd gotten paid $20. And so I was walking down the street and it was, you know, 94, 1994, I think. And there was a lot of homelessness in New York at that time. And I, you know, really wanted to buy something for myself.

But then I saw a person on the street, this woman, and I felt this urge to like, I want to give my money away, which sounds really lovely. But when you dig in deeper, if you get a master's certificate in financial psychology and your professor tells you this, This desire to just say, I don't want it, get rid of it. Or to help other people first, like not put your ox or mask on first. Yeah.

And I kind of wish my mom had said that's so noble. Yes, we should donate, but let's take a percentage and save it. Percentage and spend, you know, sort of use it as a share. Exactly. Use it as a teachable moment for how to build a healthy relationship with. But, you know, I don't mean to blame her, but it was OK. We'll give it away.

So I sort of love that story, but also I'm kind of sad by it because I've held on to that today. This this sort of martyrdom of I want to obviously make money, but I frequently want to give it away, too. And I have a hard time balancing the two.

Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. Guilt. Guilt that more for me means less for you.

Again, if money is power. You can wield it. So it's just another example of diminishing yourself. Give it away. I have less than I have less than or a lack of worthiness. Right. If I don't deserve to take up more space, you know, it's it's deep.

And I always say it's like join ladies get paid or, you know, listen to your podcast, but also get a therapist because you start to unravel this stuff and you realize it's so much bigger than just what's in your bank account. Oh, yeah.

Something that was helpful for me in unpeeling my own layers was to also start to peel back the layers of my family. Sometimes we know the trauma or the baggage that our family has gone through, but sometimes we don't, but we can imagine. So an exercise that has been helpful is thinking about, well, what was my mother's relationship with money growing up in her family?

Or let's take the word money out of it and say, how about just space, her ability to show up as her full self in her family? Then we jump to her mother, right? So my grandmother, what about her relationship with money or her ability to take up space, right? All through the generations. And then I find myself feeling lighter, actually, because it's not my fault. You know, it's not my fault.

And also, I want to do better, you know, for my kids. And, you know, I feel proud that I'm making a difference in my own behavior. But knowing that it doesn't happen by, you know, one day you wake up and everything's fine. It's the work that you're putting in. right? That's what counts. It's the books you read, the podcasts you listen to. It's the desire to change. Like that counts.

I think too many women think until I am fixed, then I will be happy. No, it is lifelong. You will probably always have a relationship with turning on or off the lights, but hopefully now it can be, you know, sort of funny. You go, oh, well, that's my thing. Totally.

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